You have no luck with men? One drink, one hit, a third too stingy? Unsuccessful dating, men just awful persecute you. May cause the script? Each of us are familiar love-disappointment. But some are able to leave their failures in the past, others are "pulling" them away - and over and over again does not meet those men. Psychologists say that the problem is solved, we just need to find her roots. To begin to answer the question itself, but what exactly you are looking for. More precisely, anyone? Remember that all the love scenario - the case of our own thoughts, but our behavior affects parenting programs, their own complexes, fears, past experiences and ... hidden desires.

History 1. They sit on the neck

Marina, Deputy Fin. Director: "We are with my sister about the same age, I - 32, she 30. But at the same time, my sister lives happily - she has a wonderful family, beloved husband, job, apartment. I am one - with men stubbornly no luck, even their homes are still there. Often we Olya thought about why my life was going exactly the way we've always done everything together, and we look like externally.

My story begins when I was 15 years old, I was in grade 10, came to our brand-new - Viktor. A proud look, slanting bang - a dream, not a guy. I asked our teacher to put him with me at the desk. A month has passed - and he did copied my homework, checking, and in the evening escorted home. I fell in love, he became my first man. However, I continued to do all the work - studying, working, clean on the house. Victor was lying on the couch and watched TV. When I tried to appeal to his conscience, he is with a sad kind of talked about what I smart and strong, and he and his hands are not out of the place growing up, and no brains. I do not know how I tolerated it, but one day found him with another ...

Came a long time. Then my sister went to sea, where I found Nikita. Bright, purposeful, smart, he seemed ideal. Upon returning home, have agreed to meet him. I was waiting for his call for three days, and went to him myself. "What" I opened the door, even difficult to call a man - a terrible fume, three-day beard, rumpled and somewhat stained tracksuit. "Oh, and here Marinochka, come, my love." I could not leave him, and during the day led him to his senses, and an apartment in order. The next day he kissed my hand and said that "the devil has beguiled me." Forgiven. He in fact stayed for several months, but then left again into booze. I cried, begged to be treated. He resisted, but eventually coded. Suffice it to 4 months, and then he fell. And in that time I could not go - it's very much in love with him. At the time he stayed, it was terrific, the perfect man. I fought with him 5 years. My sister has long nursed a child, but I still tried to reason with Nikita. In the end, is gone. Incidentally, after my departure, he quit drinking ... They say that now lives with another woman and a drop in your mouth does not take. I just try to nothing about him to hear - still hurts.

And the time runs out. Decided to use via the Internet. Met with a quiet and humble accountant Peter. On the third date Peter, hiding his eyes, sad to report that he has a bad heart, and I gave him too much like me so he could of got something to hide. He said that he would understand me if I throw it. I and this time could not leave. Life with him - it was hard labor: we have adhered to a strict diet - no salt, pepper and so on. Lift anything heavy he could not. Go to sleep at certain times, we even visit could not overstay. And all the free time spent on the health forums. In this case, was always calm and courteous. Once I found him a medical card, and learned that his disease is absolutely not dangerous, tens of thousands of people live with this and nothing else. I tried to explain to him, but he did not listen and said that I do not understand. When he refused to start because of his "illness" of a child, I collected things. "

Comment psychologist: Marina - Mama for men

All men Marina is ideally suited for the scenario of "woman-mother - a man-son." With them she was fully able to realize their maternal instinct. But at the same time, Marina did not give men any chance to show their independence. A weak man, after all, it is not needed. That's a vicious circle.

Council. If you choose for themselves the maternal strategy of relations with men, you become more courageous and taking responsibility for the relationship, keeping everything under control and taking it all on their own solutions. A woman loses her femininity and ceases to attract men. Marina should say to yourself "stop" and try to be in relationships with men more gentle and patient, give them time and opportunity to display their leadership qualities. If, however, by the male partner's actions are not forthcoming, so close to her just not the hero of her novel. And with the need to leave immediately.

History 2. The cruelty

Inna, 28, salesman: "I only recently realized that, it turns out, a man can be kind, gentle and caring. Until that time, I encountered only a cruel, cynical and rude. And the first on the list was my father. Father, my brother and not just feared, we hated it. Then he left the family, and very soon I began to notice his face against his brother - he could just scream, insult and even hit.

I left home very early, went to college. I had fans, but his heart did not respond ... until I saw Dima. Dima was a bully, a difficult child, but I fell in love and was ready to be with him in joy and in sorrow. True, we met briefly, until such time as he pushed me off the boat to amuse my company ... knowing that I can not swim. It is good that one guy, after all, he was afraid and helped me out before I drowned.

At last year I fell in love again. At Kohl. He was thin and high, but it felt great inner strength. After both graduated from college, went to his home in the village and got married. I never thought that such a complicated, difficult life in the village - I got up with the lark, went to bed after midnight. All the housework, I served as Coley's mother was ill. Kohl himself was very strict and laconic. If not are pleased than he could with me all day to talk, and money from him that I did not see. Even his son Petya dress was almost in anything. How Petka grew up, went to look for a job, started school wash floors. After a while I felt sorry for the director and transferred to the post of caretaker. Crawled through the village rumor, though not just because I was promoted. That day, Nick came home from work earlier than usual and once to me. Scolded the mother, insulted, and then began to beat. Methodically, with his son and his mother. I woke up in hospital and lay there for two weeks. Kohl arrived there for me, as if nothing had happened. I gathered my things, son, and just ran away from there.

The next man has appeared in just 2 years. I met a 40-year-old man - he was invited to the cafe, saw off from work to home. I have special feelings towards him have not experienced, but wanted his son was the father. Moved to live with him. It was not long, as I began to notice how much he looked like a Kohl. No, he did not beat me, but he could and to humiliate, insult, to count every penny and every penny reproach. I would not go away just because of his son, but when his son asked me why I put up with such, and said that we better just to live together, I left.

We now live together with my son. Recently I met with Mitya - the driver in the bus, smiling, calm, plump. It is not rude nice guy, but somehow my heart is silent. Perceive it more as a brother. I do not know, maybe that will .... "

Comment psychologist: Inna - a magnet for sadists

Since childhood, Ina lived in an atmosphere of domestic violence. But his parents, whatever they were, like every child - in fact choose something not necessary. And if the merits of the parents simply do not, then the deficiencies can be in the children's subconscious mind to transform into virtues. For Ina such "dignity" has become a rough masculine strength - "masculinity."

Council. The man, who is a sadistic complex - very unhappy people, and they make miserable and everyone around you. If you love a man who raises his hand on you, you can take him to a psychologist. However, in practice domestic sadists virtually untreatable. They are easy to ask for forgiveness and promise not to repeat their mistakes continue ... And then also easily about on its promises and forgotten. Therefore, better still, think of a timely escape. And Inna be advised to start a relationship with Mitya.

The development of scenarios of our relationship leaves its mark by several factors:

1. Parent plant

Often we try to repeat the scenario of the relationship that was characteristic of the family in which we grew up. If a mother in the family is authoritarian, the daughter seeks subconsciously a man who she would have liked. May be another situation where a mother gives her daughter a childhood setting "in our family, men do not take root."

2. I myself

If you try to keep full control over the situation and relations, it is not surprising that all partners will be weaklings. You just do not give the man a chance to prove himself. Give him a chance to show their strength.

3. Past experience

Even if our experience was pathetic in the future relationship we are looking for something like that. Because it's easier and not as scary as trying something completely new.

4. The position of the victim

Of course, the position of the victim brings with it some dignity - pity and sympathy for others, itself can also be pitied. But these "bonuses" can never compete with real, wholesome relationships.

5. The denial of love

If you are sure that he never met his true love, that love, in principle, not, so most likely it will be. Try to open love, imagine in your head the fine darling, and submit your meeting with him - and you all will be adjusted in their personal lives.