How to learn the art of persuasion?
Ability to persuade - it's very subtle, but very valuable skill. You somehow know exactly what your opinion is correct, but for some reason, no friends, no husband or boss does not understand such simple things. How to convince them that you are right? You just need to learn the tricks of the dispute in this case, the last word will always be yours!
Strange, but not always something that is understandable and accessible to those not you think your environment. And you have to explain, prove, logically, sometimes bumping into a wall of deep misunderstanding. And to convince, to argue you have to constantly, every hour, every minute. But this is not the most terrible and terrifying is that no matter how you try, to your opinion no one listens.
Of course, there are always times when to back down, sometimes even useful, in any case, if it is not a question of principle. Another thing is when you have to give everything and everyone will agree it is not only very uncomfortable, but also quite sensitive effort on your self-esteem and develops an inferiority complex. Wherefore should master the basics skills of the dispute, to always stay on top.
Control your emotions.
The best way to lose early in the dispute - it is to get involved in his upset feelings.
Take a timeout. If you start to realize that the voice of treachery trembling and tears welling up just about out, it is necessary to tell his companion that now say you can not, and better to continue in a more suitable time. First, you will enjoy providing breaks to calm down. And secondly, it makes sense to more thoroughly prepare for the verbal battles.
Monitor the situation: never take a chance to display his interlocutor of yourself. It should be remembered that if you want the information in its entirety has come to your counterpart, you need to, he was calm and focused. Excited people perceive only one-third of the information im trying to teach.
Do not take the dispute as a war, where all means are acceptable and good. Attempts and threats to hurt you just make them mad man, and he was holding on you insult. Achieve a different effect you can not.
Tricks of the Trade. If you need to calm down, take some deep breaths, inhaling through the nose. Then look around and find, say, 5 green items. This will help you escape and unwind.
Presenting his view
Should consider in advance their position, or better yet - make a speech in which you lay out all the points of your arguments and reasoning. It should be clearly think through your speech.
1.Nyneshnee situation.
2. Advantages and disadvantages of the status quo.
3. Your proposal.
4.Trudnosti, will have to face.
5. Undeniable advantages.
Such a prepared speech will help set up your buddy in a constructive dialogue. And as you show what is really responsible have addressed this problem.
Tricks of the Trade. Firstly, the merits of your plan should be slightly larger than disadvantages. Moreover, these advantages must be placed at the end of your plan, because the information is located at the end of the dialogue is perceived much better than the information, presented in the beginning.
If you are caught unawares
Of course, the opportunity to think about their tactics and prepare for a conversation - it was good. But it does not always come in such ideal situations. How not to get lost if you are caught unawares.
Distract the attention of the opponent. Look out the window, or offer your opponent a cup of coffee. Your proposal will likely cause the interlocutor to weaken their attack.
Ask a question. At that time, until your opponent gives his evidence, take advantage of the respite to articulate their objections. But instead of saying that you do not have this in mind, ask why your interlocutor has done such a conclusion.
Do not make excuses. has long been observed, if a man is justified, so it feels wrong. Simply turn the conversation from indictment in a constructive and ask for specific facts.
In a noisy place. Be sure to look at his companion, then he can understand what you listen to it well. Use the conversation should only be familiar to your opponent's words, and speak as short sentences.
Tricks of the Trade. The words "forbid" it is better not to use in his speech or, in extreme cases, in the beginning of the sentence. But words such as "agree", "I like" better to eat at the end of sentences. To companion caught your idea is to voice her several times and always at the end.
If you do not agree
Do not immediately give up, or frustrated, if with your arguments do not agree. Try to adhere to the following tips.
- Listen carefully to the objections of his opponent.
- Confirm them.
- Convert the data in question objection.
- Respond to this question.
- Make a conclusion.
Tricks of the Trade. uses in his speech, words like "of course", "of course" that will encourage conversation.
Change the negative to the positive!
Any situation can turn out in such a way as to show its positive side.
1. Use a different word "but" that will help you find a lot of pluses in a given situation.
2. It is beneficial to all. It often happens that you are not willing to accept only out of stubbornness, even despite the fact that the other person sees the obvious benefits of your plan. Help him to see the merits of your plan, building on its weaknesses.
If your opponent - a man
Yes, this fact is well worth your attention. In this case, will the emphasis is only on the arguments.
Forget about the monologue. Men are so constituted that he is ready to listen only for 10-15 seconds, so he should be allowed to insert the word.
Select the correct posture. If you want to work on his feelings, should be on the left side of it, if the logic, then the right. It is important to follow then, that your arguments are logical, and the conclusions are obvious.
Use a minimum of words. Remember that the longer sentences men perceive worse.
When arguing with a woman
Important for women to feel contact with someone, it needs to be understood and sympathized.
Push on the emotions. Women are very emotional creatures, and if pointeresuetes its internal state, it is easier to agree with your opinion.
Be careful with words. The woman will be able to discern the hidden meaning even in a completely harmless clause. Be careful.
Wait. If you do not have enough confidence in yourself, your companion better sit on a chair or a chair, while he himself remained standing.
