When we were kids, we are very, very unable to manage their lives because they could not ensure its own existence. We are dependent on adults. All we could do - is change itself and its ways of behavior to the environment in the face of other people do not cause us pain. We kroili from comfortable for adults design that fits into their world view. Then it was our creative way to accommodate and maintain themselves. But today everything is different! You may find that you - a grown man. If you doubt - Feel my body, especially those places that clearly indicate your age. Look in the mirror: that if you're a little kid who needs to adapt to an adult in order that they are not rejected and not humiliate him? Maybe you disagree with us, but you - a grown man. Unlike the adult from the child consists in the fact that an adult can take care of himself and does not need to do to help other people to such an extent as a child. And it means the following:

In order to survive in society, it is important to match our actions with the requirements of the hostel and take into account the views of important people, but we do not have to depend on it! Probably still you could not control their own destiny as far as it is still believed that you - a small child who is dependent on the approval of others. And if you're so far been thought - and then lived. Positive thinking is not in vain is the key to success. Because that's our thinking produces our world, the necessary transformations. Saying to yourself that everything will be bad, we begin to prepare for bad and expecting bad. Remember the adage: "it never rains but it pours"? This conventional wisdom is based on the fact that as soon happens to us that something bad, we open a new trouble, and thereby draw in what we think. Our consciousness is such that we get exactly what we can and are willing to accept.

If we are accustomed to live so that other people decide what we do, how to look, where to work, how to communicate and so on - we master this style of life. We know all the laws of such interactions, they are for us familiar and comfortable. We all know how to live without running their lives. That we are able to take, to this we are ready. And in order to learn to live differently, you must be prepared to stand up to a different position - the position of its own responsibility for what happens in life. Any event can join with us in the resonance or dissonance. If the event fits into our system of coordinates, that is consistent with what we were taught, what we've come to expect from life, what we believe, it is with us in the resonance.

Once this happens, we begin to work on one frequency, start looking at the world around us are the same vibrations as the "right" and bring them to him. The same principle is based and the other not less known Russian proverb: "Birds of a feather flock together." And we, the therapists, says: "Dependent Dependent flock together." This means that for us comfortable is what we are accustomed to. So, if we are accustomed to communicating with people with whom we are in constant state of struggle, chaos, uncertainty, tension, or who decide for us how we live, we know this atmosphere, and meeting a man intuitively defines it as "their".

Usually this occurs due to an unconscious substitution qualities. For example, a somber and aloof man may seem like a woman, accustomed to a lack of warmth and intimacy in a relationship, vulnerable and sensitive (and it is this way of men most often appears in the ladies' novels), and cold and making fun of a woman prividitsya man not accustomed to receive love, support and approval, and a mysterious caller. If we get used to be with others in a situation of constant conflict, then, meeting other people - respectful, sensitive, unobtrusive, begin to experience in their society simply boredom: after all, no one comes to us in the corn, do not pour salt on the wound, do not make us blacked out. How to deal with such people?

We begin to think positively

It is believed that, in order to begin to think positively and to love yourself, you need something special, for example, find themselves now, "or identify all the causes of their destructive behavior. Some are trying to remake itself "outside": plastic surgery, or to pretend to be someone else, wear a mask. As a result, up until "we shall find ourselves not again", or "do not detect all causes", or "not going to another man, life is delayed, postponed the happy moments, it is impossible fullness sensation. And here we solve the problem, solve. And they do not stop and did not end there. Problems can be solved to infinity, and in their place will emerge new. But what if you walk the other side? You can start to deal with their problems, for example, with the help of a psychologist. And you can find the best thing we have in our lives, and build on it. You can just tell yourself that the world around beautiful that you are beautiful. And smile. If you think this is silly, try it. We checked on her, and I assure you it works. It is worth to smile to himself, even by force, and after a while the mood and tone is really rising, and thinking itself begins to form a positive. A positive mood inside attracts positive events from the outside. The way we live today - the result of years of training. And in order to change their lives, have to train in the opposite direction, for example, do not expect an attack and not to build shelters from non-existent dangers, and to smile.

Every day, several times to the mirror and smile to yourself. Smile needed some time to feel the request to his smile and give your body time to tune in a new way. We call this the internal configuration. A state of inner smile - it's the right tone or the right way, as is the right tone for a musical instrument. Once the tool is set up, it starts to really sound. Same thing with us. It is worth to us to catch the right tone, just as we begin to sound. And that tone - a smile. Do the following: Inhale deeply and exhale. Together with an exhalation "vyduyte" out your feelings and negative emotions, dissatisfaction and frustration. Inhale so a few times until you feel that you are breathing more freely. Lower the shoulders down, lift the chest up. And now try to relax and smile.

Perhaps your smile is the beginning will seem silly - do not pay attention, you need to get used to it. In addition, in the smile muscles are involved that need to be developed. Developed muscles develop in a beautiful, natural smile. Watch for what happens to you when you smile, as I feel your body. After that, take my diary of observations and fix what you have found: watch and record your physical and emotional experience, record and how long you can keep this setting throughout the day. The first time it will be a very short period of time - maybe a few minutes. And that's fine. All the big road begins with a single step.