Zone of proximal development of the child
Father of eleven-year-boy says: "Give us Misha's birthday constructor. He was delighted, at once began to collect it. It was Sunday and I played with her younger daughter on the carpet. Five minutes later I hear: "Dad, does not work, help." And I answered him: "What are you, little one? Himself understood. " Misha became sad and soon abandoned the constructor. So ever since to him and is not suitable. " Why do parents often respond as Mishin said his father? Most likely, the best of intentions, they want to teach children to be independent, not afraid of difficulties.
If a child is difficult and it is ready to accept your help, be sure to help him. Very good start with the words "Come together". These magic words open the door to the area of child new skills, knowledge and enthusiasms. Our rule - not just good advice. It is based on a psychological law, open outstanding psychologist Vygotsky Vygotsky - a " zone of proximal development of the child. " deeply convinced that every parent should definitely know about this law. Tell us about it briefly.
It is known that at each age for each child there are a limited number of cases with which he can handle himself. Outside this circle - the case available to him only with the participation of an adult or unavailable altogether. For example, a preschooler may already own to fasten buttons, wash your hands, remove the toy, but it can not well organize their affairs during the day. That's why a preschooler in the family so often hear parents of the word "Time", "Now we will," "First, eat, and then ..."
Vygotsky showed that as the child's range of cases, which he begins to perform independently, increases the cost of those cases that he had acted with an adult, rather than those that lie outside our community. In other words, tomorrow, the child will do himself what he did today with her mom, and it is due to the fact that it was "my mother". Zone cases together - it's gold reserve of the child, its potential for the near future. That's why it was called the zone of proximal development.
Now, I hope you will become more clear why leave "from the pedagogic considerations," the child of one where it is difficult - a blunder. This means do not take into account the fundamental psychological law of development. I must say that the children feel good and know what they are now in need. How often do they ask: "Play with me", "Let's go for a walk", "Let's fiddled", "Take me with you", "May I, too, will?" And if you do not have a really good reason for refusing or postponing the answer let there be only one "Yes".
And what happens when parents are regularly denied? I will cite as an illustration of a conversation in psychological counseling.
MOTHER: I have a child some sort of strange, probably insane. Recently we were sitting with her husband in the kitchen, talking, and he opens the door and straight at us with a stick goes, and just beats.
CONSULTANT: And how do you usually spend with him the time?
MOTHER: He is? Yes, not spend. And when I? Home steeper in the house. And he walks the tail - to play so play with me. And I told him: "Yes, you leave me alone, he played, that you, toys are not enough?"
CONSULTANT: And your husband, he was playing with it?
MOTHER: What are you! Husband as come to work, so immediately to the couch and the TV ...
CONSULTANT: And your son comes to him?
MOTHER: Of course, the suits, but he runs it: "Do not you see I'm tired, go to my mother!"
Is it really surprising that desperate little boy went "to the physical methods of influence"? His aggression - a reaction to an abnormal communication style (or rather, not intercourse) with his parents. This style does not contribute to the development of the child, but sometimes it becomes the cause of his severe emotional problems.
It is well known, there are children who do not like to read. Their parents are rightly upset and trying all means to accustom the child to the book. However, it often does not work. Some friends parents complained that their son had very little reading. Both wanted him to be raised and educated well-read man. They were very busy people, so limited by the fact that getting out the "most interesting" books and put them on his son on the table. True, they are reminded, and even demanded that he sat down to read. However, the boy calmly passed the entire stop adventure and fantasy novels and went outside to play with the guys in football.
Is there a more fool-proof way to discover and continually rediscovers parents: Read with your child. Many families read aloud to preschoolers, are not yet familiar with the letters. But some parents continue to do it and then, when their son or daughter is already enrolled in school. Immediately, I note that the following question: "How long must read with your child has already learned to put letters in a word?" - Clearly can not be answered. The fact that the rate of automation of reading in every child is different (this is connected with the individual characteristics of the brain). It is therefore important in this difficult period of development to help your child get excited reading the contents of the book.
If a child is difficult, and he is ready to accept your help, be sure to help him. In this case: Take only what he can not perform himself, the rest to make his own. As the development of a child new activities gradually transferred them to him. As you can see, now our rule explains exactly how to help your child in a difficult case. The following example illustrates well the meaning of the additional items to this rule.
Many of you have probably ever teach a child to ride a bicycle. Usually begins with the fact that the child sits in the saddle, loses his balance and strives to fall along with the bike. You have to, one hand clutching the steering wheel, the other a saddle, hold the bike upright. At this stage, almost all do you do: you're taking a bike, but the child only awkwardly and nervously trying to pedal. But after a while you realize that he himself began to straighten the steering wheel, and then you gradually relax your hand.
If playing with his son in an electric railway, the father of first rails and connects to the transformer, then after a while the boy tends to do it all himself, and even puts some tracks how its an interesting way. If the mother had her daughter take her a piece of dough and let her do her "children", a pie, but now the girl herself wants to knead the dough, and carve. Child's desire to conquer all-new "territory" of cases is very important and should be protected as the apple of your eye.
How to protect the natural activity of the child?
Danger of the first - too early perelozhitsvoyu of the child. In our example, a bicycle, this is equivalent to five minutes and release the wheel and seat. Inevitable in such cases, the fall can lead to what the child has lost the desire to sit on the bike.
The second danger - on the contrary, too long and persistent involvement of parents, so to speak, zanudlivoe leadership in a joint case. And again our example of a well helps to see this error.
Imagine: a parent holding a bicycle behind the wheel and the saddle, running near the child per day, second, third, week ... Learn to whether the ride itself? Hardly. Most likely, he was generally tired of this senseless occupation. And as the presence of an adult - without fail!
Among teens surveyed: Do they help at home with the housework? Most students in grades 04/06 responded negatively. In this case, the guys have expressed dissatisfaction with the fact that parents do not allow them to many household chores: do not give the cooking, washing and ironing, walking to the store. Among students in grades 7.8 was the same guys are not employed in the household, but the number dissatisfied was several times less!
This result shows how to fade the desire of children to be active, to take on a variety of things, if adults do not support this. Follow-reproaches children that they are "lazy", "irresponsible", "selfish", as belated as it is meaningless. These "lazy", "irresponsibility", "selfish" we parents are not aware of it, sometimes co-create yourself.
