Why are shy people are hard to contact?
Shy people sometimes differ controversial behavior. On the one hand, they want to communicate and send signals to calling for a rapprochement with the other - they are afraid to communicate, and thus drive people away. Sometimes it happens subconsciously, and shy people wonder why all their attempts to make contact failed. All manifestations of shyness made subdivided into:
1) external (behavioral);
2) internal (psycho-emotional);
3) physiological.
Distinguish the major external behavioral signs of a shy person:
1) people are reluctant to come into contact with strangers;
2) Avoid eye contact;
3) hesitates to start and maintain a conversation;
4) does not ask questions, questions answers with obvious reluctance, in a quiet voice.
Shy people can not freely express their point of view, it is difficult to express and manifest itself as an interlocutor. The behavior of shy people prevents the general process of socialization and social adaptation. Artificially created a vicious circle: the more people hesitate, the less he has to communicate with other people, and the less his communication skills, the more his shyness. Shy person because of lack of communication is difficult to create your own inner world, which prevents an adequate assessment of human relationships. There is no full understanding of human communication.
Shy people are very vulnerable, very sensitive about criticism from outside and at the same time, constantly criticizing yourself. People are constantly focused on their shortcomings and mistakes, he accompanies the fear of being misunderstood and funny. Shy people are often embarrassed, feel helpless, clumsy, inconsistent. Shy people focus on their discomfort and experiencing them in advance, by delivering themselves additional discomfort. Often the mood for a bad result leads to the fact that a person waives any action simply because they can lead to unpleasant consequences. Shy people are not able to present themselves due to paucity of communication skills, unable to defend his point of view, pre-confident in their uninteresting.
Physiological manifestations of shyness: rapid pulse and heartbeat, sweating, reddening of the skin. Some people may get the feeling of emptiness or the chill in the stomach. Similar symptoms that arise in emotional stress, are familiar to all people, all somehow sometimes experiencing them, but the obsession shy people on their negative feelings multiplies them.
Psychologists have found that some people are afraid to fail so they are trying to completely avoid situations that could result in defeat, so why shy people are hard to go on contact . If such a situation is inevitable, you might have a paradoxical effect - making people obviously insufficient efforts to achieve the goal, allowing him in case of failure to write off the defeat was the inadequacy of opportunities, not ability.
Shy people more than anyone else has to experience such unpleasant feelings as awkward and embarrassing. Awkwardness could be called egocentrism with a negative sign. Awkwardness arises at times when a person is hampered in carrying out any action out of fear that will make a bad impression on others. Shy people have had to endure embarrassment more often because they are already constantly concerned about the impression produced on others.
