Consider, as an emerging mechanisms that support a person's desire to use drugs. The child grows. Together with its growing difficulties associated with a significant deficit of endorphins, to maintain the level of which we already know, you need emotional support in any form. And what forms of typical teenage issues? Extremism in all its manifestations. "I'm cool, because jumping on everyone learning the worst of all, or drink the coolest drugs." All these phenomena of the same order. "I am - an incurable patient, sitting on a very large dose" - often referred to with pride in his voice.

Why a child is using drugs? teenager is necessary that it drew attention, he needs to stand out. And usually pay attention to the people particularly outstanding, and no matter what they are unique. The great philosopher Aristotle is not better known than the Greeks were smart, who set fire to the temple only to become famous. Often teens with drugs trying to solve the problems of his family. One of my patients, a girl of fourteen years, watched with satisfaction as parents came to her during the visits and busily discussing its further treatment. She felt that all family problems have gone away. She was glad that mum and dad finally talking quietly. The girl did not understand how this harmony is illusory: her father has another family, and after the baby from the hospital the parents will not be grounds for intercourse. Its secondary benefits from drugs - creating the illusion of close-knit family. Where will it end? Naturally, after leaving the girl once again began using drugs.

Another example of obtaining secondary gain from illness told me an adult patient. Vick started using drugs after her husband left her. For the first time after his departure, it places itself did not find, simply did not want to live. All attempts to withdraw from the scope of her depression with the help of friends, work, psychotherapist does not produce the desired peace. One day a friend suggested to try heroin and - oh, miracle! Everyone around has changed! Depression suddenly receded, and the world was again perfect. It is true that for long. But the chemical recipe of "happiness" is already known. After the first injection was the second, third ... gradually began to increase the "dose", has developed a physical dependence. Almost immediately, the woman tried to stop taking the drug, but it was not so simple.

 On her husband learned of the disease, the benefit of it and did not hide, telling him of his unhappy fate. And that's really mysterious ways of God, experiencing feelings of guilt, a husband back! Since then, life in the family got quite a decent look. Wife is ill, and her husband "has his own cross" in every way possible to help her get rid of serious illness through persuasion, creating favorable conditions for life, paying for her treatment in expensive hospitals. Last attempt to force his wife to give up drugs was the drug my husband. He hoped that seeing him in this state, she also experience guilt and take himself in hand. " But it has not brought the desired result. Vick again and again in the hospital. During one of such revenues in a conversation with the therapist found that recovery for it means the loss of her husband. And she is not ready. Awareness of the "secondary gains" made Vic think about your relationship with your husband. In the future she once again entered the office, then disappeared from view drug treatment.

Kingdom of Crooked Mirrors

Another common form of secondary benefits - the decision by the drug problems in communicating with their peers, as a drug, like alcohol, can temporarily liberated, forget about the problems and enjoy spending time in the company of their kind. Thus, the secondary benefits depending on that person because she has a high znachimostv the eyes of others and get their attention. What happens when the relationship disappears? In such cases, a person's life for the first time not only not improving, and often worsens. If before it paid attention and tried to help, after the cessation of dependence became the same as all! Parents do not watch a child who recovered and did not even criticize him. Surrounding no longer refer to him as a patient, placing the usual requirements, but it's very few people like that. Hence, we must return to the disease, then everything will remain.

One of the hidden reasons for the continuing dependence - is to divest itself of responsibility for their own lives. A girl of ten years, deprived of opportunities to walk due to disorders of the musculoskeletal system, started practicing with an instructor therapeutic exercises, and the process went quite well. Several months later she started to get up and move along the support, and suddenly for no apparent reason has refused to do next. At the instructor's question about the reason for refusal girl replied: "If I get better, will have to do everything herself and attend school. And I do not want. "

The phenomenon of secondary gain lies at the basis of codependency. Among my acquaintances was a young man who is very seriously ill mother. He cared about her and all the while complaining about life: everything becomes more expensive, a small salary and have to constantly get out. It is worth noting that the major field of study he was a doctor, but also moonlighting as a journalist. Woman - Editor in which he worked, always admired his courage and honesty. Another would be: despite the difficulties, it helps the mother does not hand her to a hospital or nursing home. I asked her if she would publish articles by the journalist, not whether his ailing mother. After thinking for a long time, she said "no."

Empathy is dependent, if makes a person do what he would not do in other circumstances. Something similar happens with the parents of drug addicts. In some cases, the illness of a child is one reason that does not split the family, in others it provides an opportunity for one parent (usually the woman) does not work. After all, if a child - a drug addict, constant monitoring is justified and to work once. In general, life takes on a different meaning. Of course, this list is derived from the disease secondary benefits can go on and on, but it makes no sense to do it. Each person can find it for yourself by using a special questionnaire "secondary benefits" or by a psychologist. But to identify a secondary benefit - only half the battle.

The next, equally important step is to develop mechanisms to obtain the desired effect (attention, support, recognition, etc.) to other, non-hazardous to health and socially acceptable manner. Naturally, this will require a lot of work, but you must admit, the game worth the candle. Determining the secondary benefit of its dependencies, select the appropriate way to replace it. For example, you can:

· Get attention, attending support groups;

· Self-esteem - with the help of "Log achievements";

· Sense of unity in the family through a joint teas, walks out of town or building a country house.