When a person comes into the world, the world is for him an absolute chaos: a lot of things have no connection with each other, a man does not know what its border, where they begin and end with the boundaries of other people. It is because of the lack of border children show amazing ingenuity and creativity, not ashamed, do not hesitate, do not feel guilty and do not behave, "as expected". At the same time the lack of boundaries is fraught with various accidents, as well as the emergence of anxiety. Imagine if you were in total darkness or blinding light. Where does life begin? " What you begin immediately to do? I bet your arms and legs begin to explore the space for its borders? And as long as you do not specify, you will be anxious.

The same thing happens with a small child and an adult if they do not know their boundaries - both physical, which denote personal territory, as well as emotional, which mark the limits of emotional action taken. Therefore, from early childhood adult arrange the world for a young child, telling which is which and how it is connected to each other, and help him build the border, showing that you can do and what not, as far as is reasonable for any action or how much is not acceptable. From early childhood man explains how the world works, in order to sort the chaos in which the child is. Way to organize the world is the pronunciation of what it is, for example: "it - the sky," it - the grass, "it is - a girl," the rain can get wet, "because of hypothermia can become ill." Or "life - heavy stuff," "Happiness must be earned," to have a lot of money, we must work hard, "" all men, my daughter - the bastards. "

Any postulates, both objective and not correlated with reality, bring into our lives stability and orderliness. For example, steadfastly and fervently religious people no matter to what denomination they belong to, live a much calmer than the people who do not have a stable view of the world, because believers know exactly what is good and what is bad, what to do possible and what is not, and how this world is arranged. They were unknown to doubt, hesitation and agony of the "To Be or Not To Be?". Therefore, we seek to take from others and themselves to create the various postulates. Our actions are logical for us and more economical if we know what our choice is limited and whether he did. Not for nothing is often said that it is better to have no choice but to suffer from it.

Thus, accepting and creating different postulates about the world we create for ourselves the world. World at all different. For some people it is surprising and unpredictable, for someone dull and monotonous, for someone dark and hateful. Someone believes that "man is born for happiness, and someone thinks that - in order to practice sin." These "rhymes" and postulates are the ones that define our existence. Basic postulates are important because they are the foundation of all others. Typically, they are existential (or break) character. If a person believes that he was "born under an unlucky star," then we can safely predict that, in all spheres of his life there is an element of failure.

Postulates are not only personal but also group and family. Particularly valuable, and therefore the most important and most influential are family postulates. As a rule, they appear in the form of assertions: "But in our family! .." Once these thoughts have helped to organize a strong chaos that resulted from a family tragedy or a situation, which has had a family very strong influence. Once he had helped the family or its individual members to survive and save their world, so it was for the family with something like the motto or relics. Paradoxically, but psychology is very close to mathematics. Psychology as well as mathematics, organizes the world. Only if the mathematics of chaos is used to convert the numbers, the psychology used by other units: the conscious or unconscious decision postulates. If the decision or postulates a lot or very little, unless they are related to each other, contradict each other, then there is chaos. If the postulates of the lot, then most likely, a person's life completely speckled with boundaries, so that there is no place to step.

Around some barriers in the form of various postulates. In addition, where everything has already been defined, there is spontaneity and surprises, and hence there is nothing surprising, nowhere to grow, there is nothing to discover for themselves. It is often full of such people trafficking "yes, but ...." At every idea they necessarily find the argument. If the postulates contradict each other, the person becomes difficult to operate efficiently, because the consciousness of different issues and therefore unrealistic ideas. For example, a girl can assume that "it so no one Pozar," and at the same time assume that "everyone must find a mate." Whichever it may be chosen, one will necessarily make disharmony. And as a result of her life produced chaos. The work on attitudes may be difficult, which is called "must I have to stay the way was born (how I was raised).

This is due to several reasons.

Reason 1. Belief that it is impossible to change the initial conditions

Sometimes think so, if this belief is the family, generic and, therefore, very important and valuable. For example, if for any reason the parents did not succeed, then they can tell their children that success is impossible in the social environment. At the same time, history is replete with examples where success is sought people who were born in a poor environment, which are the initial conditions are used as a springboard to a better push off and accelerate. And that lack of money pushed them to seek a better life.

Reason 2. Fear of change

A person may seek to remain in the same conditions because of fear of something new. Indeed, because of these conditions, he already knows everything. And about what might happen, he does not know anything. Thus, a person with a little prosperity does not know anything about how to be rich and unhappy people do not know about you, how to live a happy person. Sometimes, in order to become happy, you want to give up what makes life unhappy, and this can already heavily used. For example, in order to break the cycle of poor relations, they have to change, and this may lead to conflicts and sometimes rupture.

Reason 3. Loyalty to self

Sometimes feel that change yourself or change the life - is change itself that is worthy of respect for the man who for a long time to hold his loyalty. Fidelity to its principles and trust their decisions really are worthy of respect, but it's true that if it does not stop to grow and make life orderly and happy. Adopted once the decision may eventually lose relevance and be harmful to man, make him unhappy. In this case it is useful to "change" decision, rather than keep him faithful. Say, buying stuff that does not fit the material well-being, may in time raise a sense of value of man, but will hurt its financial position for a long time, resulting in even more to reduce his self-confidence. When we talk about life, about destiny, about the personal way, then so unprofitable decisions may be a relationship with someone, or conversely, the decision not to deal with someone is no relationship, decisions about themselves, about the world, about other people. Sometimes, to be happy, have to "change themselves".