When choking on tenderness
Husband, wife, children - is it always a family?
On such a question to answer is easy: Of course not! Sometimes the family, and sometimes something like a boarding house, where people come to eat and sleep.
But what distinguished this family from the abode of internally strangers - there are not easy to answer. Millions of people in the world suffer on this problem.
Simple and, I think, a very profound thought expressed the young Moscow author Natalia Stremitina. She says: The family is strong only when the man respected at home than outside it. Any person - adults and young.
That's when he really sees her house as a fortress.
One of our major scientific, academic, physicist, once wrote that marriage belongs to the auto-systems. Words of wisdom! The gradual disintegration of the family - a phenomenon not exceptional, but normal, it breaks through no fault or malice of a spouse, but simply because sooner or later everything falls on the ground. Want your home does not hit? Repair it regularly, complete construction, rebuild, adapt to change, to emerging situations. Want to family is not broke? Do not blame all mortal sins to each other, do not raise a panic at the sight of a crack in the wall, and quietly close up it.
Dialogue from the play:
"- I heard that true love - is when choking with passion. - No. True love - is when choking on nezhnosti.Sovmestnaya life requires gentleness, tolerance, and complaisance. But how often do we orient the youth is this? Where there! H
Familiar journalist, writing about the Palace of Marriages, one day and one day asked ten brides asked the same question: Why did you marry? Nine girls responded almost identically, like this: to be happy. Ten said: To give happiness to her husband "
I'm afraid that of all scores will be happy she is one.
I know many men who held in his life who have achieved a lot. And almost all of them one thing in common: each firm, safe home. A home for men - is primarily a woman. Not his wife because his mother, or sister, or girlfriend. What does not change. One that will not change.
In light of many peoples, many customs, but surely, all people dream about and seek strength to strength.
The French say: "Collier at home boss." The British are expressed more precisely: "My home is my castle." In different countries, loving called "army of two: back to back is a small army against the various troubles and misfortunes. Let the attic, basement let, let the shack, but the castle! Let the whole world, only two of each other and need, but - an army! Nothing scary when behind a solid rear when convinced that battered, wounded not throw, will carry into the shelter, dotaschat to the hospital.
Well, if military discord, disunity, or a fierce power struggle, if not all of the other, and every man for himself? Then, perhaps, in the battles of life can not count on that. Sometimes even the most experienced, skilled fighters knocked out of the saddle small pets betrayal.
No, no strength of man is not, nor man nor woman.
But where is it looking? For that to grasp? To hope for? What is firmly in our present enough free home?
Maybe a wedding celebration, the official ceremony, the signature of the spouses and the witnesses in important documents? Alas, many of our families is destroying faith in these indelibly ink! Lovers to each other affectionate and considerate, avoid quarrels - both are afraid of losing. Another thing the young couple - here you can show and character. Both think that the hardest behind, as they say athletes, the game is done - and she'd only begun, and fly unexpected stunning goals in a poorly covered gates, past the bewildered goalkeeper.
Debt? Yes, family members are related debt. But when the family begins to fall apart, go look for it, someone who has, and try to collect those debts!
So what to expect? On the passion of love? But who's to say what a passion margin? Nobody knows what the power suddenly throws us together, no one knows why powerful magnet suddenly ceases to act.
Yet there is something in life, what can be safely hope that does not change does not disappear from the whims of the body is independent, that is, in my opinion, over passion and higher debt. I'm talking about human relationships.
Millions of people suffer from the fact that passion eventually weakens. But nature has given us ample compensation: human relationships grow stronger over time. Where in the basement of the house are they, earthquakes are not dangerous.
The family is small, but difficult to order in a state. There may be any form of relations: both democracy and anarchy, and enlightened absolutism, and even, unfortunately, despotism. However, the state is stable under one condition: if the shape of his adopted voluntarily. There is nothing sadder and hopeless than a long, exhausting struggle for power.
Perhaps, eventually someone will win. Well, what - is he happy? Alas, here, as in the famous book Hemingway - the winner receives nothing.
Doomed family, where every hurt and controversial demands that he nedodano. After all, love - that's when I care about you, and you think of me. Love - it was not for egocentric ...
Journal published my story about love. Letters from readers came a lot, about a thousand. Parse them, helped a neighbor, a student, a freshman.
Almost every third letter was a confession: people talked about their issues, concerns, quarrels, ruptures. Frequently asked council. Stories were different, claims close to different occasions for quarrels different.
My volunteer assistant read the letter, frowning in concentration, and thrusting young lips.
I asked her what she thinks about all this. The girl was silent for about five minutes, and then suggested to me an extremely unexpected, and for her eighteen years - a really fantastic. Looking over my head, she thoughtfully and said resignedly:
- In my opinion, they all have to immerse yourself in life and love one another.
I was taken aback. That is how - in everyday life? Why - in everyday life? It is known that love and life of implacable enemies, what about the damned, deadly way of life are broken one after another, the love boat ...
I was ready to unleash on the head of companion all his bewilderment, but suddenly remembered that in the views on love my friend is not alone: she has, at least one ally, and quite serious.
Namely - the great Russian writer Leo Tolstoy.
In fact, in some deep, uncombed life plunged favorite writer, her heroine Natasha Rostov in War and Peace. " Already it if he did not want happiness! Wished and insisted in the epilogue of the novel that Natasha is happy and not out of life, not in spite of daily life - namely in the home.
The classics also are not gods, to agree with any of their approval is not necessary. But thinking is always worth it.
Did not we tell ourselves that love is tested in the trials? Swear not to share with your loved one all the difficulties? Not trying to take over most of its burdens?
Is there a test harder difficulty harsher burden is heavier than life? So maybe this is the true test of love - not merely to go through the next life, but also make it the burdens of joy?
Happy is the man who once in your life have heard: "I hate to clean floors, but in your room ..." Or: "I do not like to cut firewood, but for your furnace ..."
Well, after all, what is it - love?
Everlasting terra incognita, an unknown land, where every new resident of the planet, whether he wants to or does not want anyway discoverer, Columbus, willy-nilly?
Maybe art, where all the inspiration?
Or a science, which has its own laws and rules, its own system of research and technique wins?
Perhaps, then, and the second and the third.
Beginner, such as always, Columbus. How could he know that over the horizon? Mainland or stranded, honor, or shackles, world fame, or death in poverty? The future for the beginner is closed. Alas, rarely, almost by accident, he stumbles on his America.
The old adage: "First love is always unhappy."
Modern economists in such cases safely ascertain - fee for incompetence.
A fool - that Columbus was to the grave. Irrational, blind, funny sailor. His tenth ship is sinking, and he shall build the eleventh. Falls and falls. Well do not fool you? ..
A creative inspiration - and it is in the love of a great thing. Because human relationships are subject to the same laws of art. Under the inspiration of much that can be created.
After all, how often unrequited love is mutual! Lucky man? No way. Himself, with his hands, tears, patience, dedication made what he wanted. That's really someone worth respecting! It's sometimes more difficult than to build a house.
Perhaps the romance will be offended, but love, alas, may be perceived as a science. Not only the "science of tender passion, which glorified Nazon, but something simpler, something purely worldly, at the elementary arithmetic.
Having studied some simple tools and techniques, it is possible to draw attention to cause passion, jealousy, we can give, take, and again give us hope. Sometimes possible for a long time holding a simple-sacrifice, deftly manipulating her mental impulses.
Newton is not necessary, the expense is within a ten. How to sit, how to stand, as to turn away, it does not respond to the letter, as the pull up her skirt, as a time to embrace another, or smile at another ... The man, thoroughly mastered this cybernetics parties and discos, rarely remains unloved: in someone so gets shrapnel charge of tricks collected charm.
Loveless is not - but loveless lives. No one knows what terrible. Lousy thing - all my life to keep a muzzle his own soul ...
So what is love?
Science? Art?
Columbian trail on the water?
It's not the wording, the point is of vital roads, which everyone chooses for themselves. Which way is safe - it probably can be calculated. Well, who live a brighter and richer ...
They say first love is always unhappy. You agree to throw it from memory?
