If you summarize the most common complaint the woman to close her man, she would sound like this: " We talk to them in different languages . " This, of course, metaphor. But it expresses the essence of the psychological differences between men and women's organizations. Indeed, how often do we, who grew up in one country and talking to his childhood in a single language, absolutely do not understand each other's hearing in response to our emotional and lengthy statement (when we just need to speak out) offensive and insensitive words: "Well, what do you want from me? " - Or worse: How much are you talking about! " Let us not rush to accuse men of callousness, unwillingness to listen, understand and regret ... "Turnover" is better for ourselves and ask ourselves the question: "And we know how to talk to them?" In order not to be offended in vain, do not wait on the men what we never wait, and learn how to talk to them, need to learn some secrets of communication.

Formulate a topic

Talking to us, a man must see clearly the purpose of the conversation. He needs to know what we want from him. Knowing exactly what goes conversation, the man feels that he is able to control the situation. And then he knows what to do, talking to you. What is our fault. We offer the subject is too vague. The phrase "Let's talk," appropriate for a conversation with a friend and not suitable for starting a conversation with a man. Saying: "We need to talk about my problems at work, we put it to a standstill. He does not control the situation, but realizes that he is expected to solve the problem. And what's the problem? Lacking specific information, the man strained, nervous, feeling not knowing the rules of the game, is angry, may withdraw from the conversation or to interrupt him, accusing you that you can not clearly express their thoughts, and simply no longer take you seriously.

What to do? At first, tell him about what exactly would you like to talk to him, they wanted to achieve and what do you expect from him. "I need you to help me to establish proper relations with the boss. I feel that it overrides my work and want to tell him about it. How is it better to do?" Your male perspective on this issue would help me choose the right solution. " Now that the problem is stated clearly he will feel comfortable and confident, engaging in conversation, and be ready to revalue the proposed to discuss the situation, give useful advice.

If you, outlining the problem that has developed in your work, ask the following question: "What do you think, should I go to the head and talk directly?" - You agree how to offer and answer. In this case, it will be easier to give you the right advice. Never use in conversation hints. Always about what you want from him, talking straight. Hints annoying. He might think that you're going to manipulate him, considering him a weakling and a rag. If you're always right to express their thoughts, the man will appreciate your candor and will be a great pleasure to chat with you.

First, he must think

Man prefers to think in silence, expressing only the final result. He focused on the decision. Aloud, he speaks only when he knows the answer or solution. Saying: "Let me think," he tries to buy time to mentally lose a few options and only one voice out loud, and the only correct answer. What is our fault. We think out loud. Weighing up all options for addressing problems or scheduling, which should make for a day. We are focused on the process. And do not think, as perceived by the usual argument for a woman, when, turning to her husband, she says: "Listen, I'm going to carry your suit dry-cleaned in the morning.

I wanted to do it yesterday, but at work we had a meeting and I was released after 6 hours. But if I am around, then go to the store and ask whether you can swap the pair of athletic pants that you bought last week - you remember, there is a small spot in front. And maybe, I first go to the store, until there are so many people, and then to the dry cleaners? Yes, so bude! more ... Incidentally, I promised my mother to write her to the doctor I think I'll do it right now. You have not seen the IOC notebook? So, last time I saw her kitchen, because there I was dictating a neighbor pie recipe ... "etc., etc. He talks it, most likely, to himself, it just easier to think about their business on tomorrow.

He also thinks that by constantly referring to him, urging him to bear witness and encouraging to monitor her thoughts, she engages him in their arguments. And he wants to escape from the room. Because for him it is more natural, good-bye in the morning, said: "I have now scheduled in the morning a few cases. So far."

He does not understand that very often, talking about a particular situation, we do not expect from him neither the Council nor action. Not "download" their man with small, mundane problems, thinking about them aloud. Try at least once, "listen to yourself from outside, and you will be very funny: as soon as possible so messy and wordy to express their thoughts on any very slight occasion!

World of feelings for him

Men are much more difficult to express their feelings than women. World of emotions is much more owned by women than men. We often perceive this as a feature of their conscious resistance to our attempts to talk about topics of feelings, accusing them of insensitivity, callousness, offended ... Blame him for the emotional confusion, go for it around the house, to demand an immediate response and to accuse him that he ignores you - an unforgivable mistake.

How can he respond to that? Deeply worrying your misunderstandings and undeserved criticism, and suffer from this, it is more close to you my feelings. His "revolt" may result in the complete unwillingness to maintain a conversation with you, is closed. What to do? In a conversation with a man try to explain my feelings as simple words and do not afflict him all emotions at once. Pause. Do not expect an immediate response. Now we know that the man should definitely be given time to think about information.

Sensuality of your speech

There is conventional wisdom that a woman likes ears and eyes of man, that is, the woman bought at the kind words, compliments and so on. My life experience and that of my female friends completely refutes the idea of the lack of male interest in women's compliments. Men like it when we praise them! Every man - the emperor's soul! And do not look at it superficially modest appearance - the inner world of every man is crying with laughter: "Eagle I" EAGLE "Why small? Ill for many!" (Though in every joke there is some joke).

Do not feel sorry for kind words. Expand your vocabulary. Yes, the eyes can say a lot, but men are less sensitive than we are - Put on your compliment to the word in a light touch ... Learn how to gently say: "Darling, how are you today look good!" You're such a beautiful! " Even if your husband or friend shy at first, do not worry, it will remember your words and be sure to pay attention to them - it will be very nice. It is impossible in today's conversation did not touch on such an important area where a good word just need to - this is your bedroom. I want to focus on your voice.

It should be a lot of training to make your voice soft, soft, sexy ... If you smoke - ask your surroundings, pleasant to the ear is easy hoarseness in your voice, if you're due to smoking, "basite - Quit smoking immediately, otherwise you may scare you liked the man. A woman's voice - an ideal created by the very nature of a tool for seduction. Thoracic and low, with a slight hoarseness, or high and shrill, associated with a cry of luxurious sea-bird ...

And finally, as much as possible govoriteo how you love him ...