We are all going to be different
How to be happy in marriage? Do not just be, and be happy for the nth number of years? When we stop fighting for leadership of the family, we are often able to proceed to a period of calm and contentment. This period of living together really applies to the most beautiful period of the marriage. If difficulties arise, we can change nothing and did not realize it. Often, such a life with your eyes closed pick diffident people who are afraid to be honest with your partner, and thus unprotected. And get this: she knows how things should be, he goes to meet her, they adjust to the surrounding reality, and as a result it appears that life is lived not as desired. Graying at the temples, malaise and constant dissatisfaction with his past life - a nightmare newlyweds.
But read the young about the fact that it is necessary to adjust - a thankless job. What would a youth with no errors, and striving towards the ideal? After the establishment of his family - that's what was speculated, and planned by young, with all the desire for happiness, the ideal. Each pair is confident that " everything will be different . " So maximalism youth - it is not so bad. If the spouses deliberately adjusted to each other, for them there comes a golden time. They live for each other, until the money is enough for two people - live in the pleasure. During this period the spouse usually already can not have a partner of excessive pressure. They already understand that certain forms of psychological attacks should not be used, and for his own good.
But in such relationships should also comply with the measure. Soon the "bargain" already know how everything and start life on the principle: you - I, I - you. Exchange relationship, when everything and nothing in return just like that, of course, bring stability, but the marriage quietly leaves its main component. No, not love, tenderness and sincerity. And go slowly, day by day, slowly blowing off yesterday so bright and colorful balloon. And when his wife noticed it, there is a dilemma. It is terrible to utter aloud the word that the family is not all perfect. But even more frightening to realize that the situation could worsen. Sometimes people are afraid to make such a confession, but with the strengthening of mutual trust to do this is becoming easier and easier. Especially when spouses begin to understand that this recognition will have positive results.
Ahead of eternity - we have fans believe the theory of reincarnation. But the point is to learn how to enjoy life here, with this man, today and tomorrow.
Excuse me, this is a marriage contract or a contract with the devil?
The truth about human nature is that man is born alone and die as one. If we create a family, the main thing - that half of our shared (at least partially) our views on life. Idea of future family life to have everyone who enters into a marriage, but most pictures of the future life completely vague and, most importantly, different. The extent to which your opinion on this match, largely determines the success of marriage.
Agreement on how to be addressed or that problem will be very appropriate to discuss before they arise. A famous Russian psychologist, offers a simple questionnaire, which includes the list of things about what differences occur most frequently. This is a simple way to more fully know favorite and you'll be able to discuss important moments of the past and future plans. Quite reasonably, that when the two discuss their future family life, disagreements arise. How can take the most correct decision and upon whose point of view, navigate? Yes to any, just to the chosen solution suits both.
Some pair of the questionnaire will help you understand that a family of them will not work. But it is better to understand before marriage than divorce. The questionnaire is also useful because it helps you formulate the right questions correctly, and with it is sometimes possible to talk about issues that in normal conversation to discuss how something embarrassing. The questionnaire is very useful for couples who are already living as one family. In addition, some issues should be discussed repeatedly: years go, change and people and circumstances, and it is important to find the time is right now, not 2 years ago, the solution of the problem.
And, of course, the discussion of the questionnaire - an excellent opportunity for you to learn how to talk to each other. Especially if all conversations between you previously reduced to declarations of love, discussing weather and the request to pass the salt at the table. It is even possible that he will find considerable difference of opinion, and make you think as you do - whether you are ready to agree in principle?
