The Myth of taciturnity of men and women gab
The woman has more emotions that require expression, whereas men need to think twice before you express your feelings. It is in this fact and is zakovyrka: strong half of mankind prefers to decide weak same - to discuss a solution. Man - is the computer: asked him - and sit, wait for an answer. Many women, it's annoying: how, met to talk with him, and he sulked and was silent. Refine: not just silent, and thinking. Now try to understand where the notorious myth of silence between men and women of gab .
-Lyus, shut up, let me think!
-How could you think if you get even with me advise!
For women, it is natural that the solution will come by itself during its discussion. Therefore, long talk and discussion of any matter to her naturally and necessarily. While men, on the contrary, the conversations are distracting. He needs to focus on the decision to withdraw into themselves. He will give a ready solution, and the naive will believe that this incident is settled.
Certainly not! That he could out there will decide himself, without consulting me - with my wife! Yes it is I already set at naught. Even talk to me and then - squeamish ... Where is valerian? Well, not this, do not expect this from their husbands wives, when asked to help solve the problem. In the language of women such a request means: "let's talk! I found a good topic. " And you're there nareshaete together, almost does not matter. Maybe five minutes later the conversation will go far in the other direction, and you send along to the bedroom. And this is not the worst option.
However, I am not saying that women are not important to the decision itself. Important. It should only be made advisory, which means lively, ongoing dialogue, but not silent meditation before the TV. For the woman is immeasurably more important than the decision making process, rather than its result (which, incidentally, are often put out of their husbands). And in the process of consideration of a question can a woman so far "take away" that the original theme will be lost, that does lead male audience into a frenzy. But for women it is natural to discuss, let alone what to discuss, a secondary question. I will tell you a little secret: asking your advice, your spouse probably already decided, and you use it except as a sort of magic tool that will help her to ease emotional arousal. And to do this in a conversation "sucked" the situation from all sides, like a tasty bone marrow. Well, if during the conversation (which often turns into a monologue) folded more, not less "tasty" theme, so what? Why not use them until my husband did not burst patience?
Thus, tips, different parties have to give different, too. Men! Look how sweet talk your wife as she is well placed voice and diction! Be firm. Understand: to listen to chatter a couple times heavier than defend the graveyard shift at the bench. But she wanted to talk with you! Can not think of anything - nod your head, just play along. Remember the tips Carnegie! Time with a nod, you will avoid new accusations of negligence and callousness. If we are absolutely unbearable - Take a deceptive maneuver with the retreat: "Lyusechka, dear, dear, are you all so correctly decided, you're so beautiful it is said, go and write it down, yet not forgotten!" But the best option for both - still talk. Try it! Sometimes it is useful to change the role to stay in the skin of a partner. Gossip together about trifles, poahayte with his wife. Discuss the characters of the last series "Land of Love." Think of that you can not have fun? Of course not. Until you try. But in general ... why not?
And you, women, learn a little secret: if you want to discuss with a man something, just gently explain to him that easier for you to decide when you pronounce it aloud. You'll see: a man, to understand the cause of your verbiage (well, verbosity is for men, for us women, I did not say anything yet!) Will be much more forgiving than usual. If you again "taken away", it does not matter! Simply say: "Darling, let's just chat? I so want to hear your voice! "Will act, even what effect! And yet ... the Council rather difficult to perform, but dictated to us from above by the Son of God: "And let your answer be" Yes "or" No ", and that moreover, it is of the devil." However, we are only human. Is not it?
