Recently on the radio, I had a dialogue with the lead:

"Well, what would you, psychologists do, life is still the most losing thing is a mockery of God: whatever you do, everything is useless, you still die.

Yes, - I say - indeed it is. Nevertheless, this piece of meaningless existence can survive in different ways: in a depression in prison, in the head, enjoying life. Each of us chooses what suits him.

And I really think so. Many inherent fallacy that in order to live, must be some kind of sense. Therefore, very often you meet people looking for meaning, searching for his destiny and so on. Perhaps you - one of them. A man deceives himself searching for meaning. It seems to us that we live for the sake of something to put into the earth, something to convey to others, create something, in one word - score a peg on this earth. Peg is so, and even tombstones, regardless of whether they told you to others what they wanted to get across or not. Some, however, want the headstone had been more expensive - too absurd idea. At the light does not come in handy. Search for meaning come from denying the fact of death, as if everyone is looking for a way not to die: not so, such.

However, it is obvious that death is. And there's no way to avoid it - sooner or later it happens. Therefore, the meaning of search activities that will help her escape, no. But the reason to live so that was nice to remember - well there! In the first place to be pleasant to remember his life, let's define what actually is the quality of life. This quality, which is sweet to recall. Make a list of factors that determine the quality of life. To help you navigate around the variety of factors, I suggest some deleted. For example, does not need to make the list "yacht" or "private jet." These attributes do not increase the quality of life that comes every day (because every day you do not ride on a yacht or fly an airplane). Select those factors that increase the quality of life in each moment. For example: Healthy Food Circle loved ones cozy home

Among the common answer to the question "What stops you doing?" There are such:

-I do not have time for it.

And then I want to ask: what is more important than that?

-I am afraid that I will fail.

-Where are you going to go away from a submarine? For what else is tense?

-I do not have the money for it.

A worthy goal, to earn money!

-Nobody loves me.

-What do you do to be loved?

Every such question already has the answer. Poetomune suffer bullshit, and compose a strategy to overcome these obstacles. Everything is possible. In my opinion, the quality of life determined by a balance of comfort and risk. Someone chooses to venture into the sport or in a relationship, someone - in the work, achievements, and someone - in the insane destructive antics. You yourself can determine where, in what area of your life (based on the previous exercise) you want to take risks, and where it's important to maintain comfort. You may ask: Is the risk is so necessary? Yes, it is necessary. When we are in danger, we otodvi-Gai bar its capabilities and begin to master the new, thereby developing themselves and enrich the lives of new impressions. I choose to venture into his creative time-opment, since the relationship is not risking much, and home comforts me very much support when I'm plotting a new risky project. New experience, new activities and new people discover us ourselves and the world around us such as we have not seen yet, and are open - it's a great value. At least for me.

Only through the actions of outside we are creating the emotional background, which brings us experience. Creating actions in the environment, we are in touch with him, and the body of all its fibers react to what is happening around them. Our reaction - feelings, emotions and feelings - are that the food that we need for life as well as food and air. The man left without feelings and experiences (experiment: in a dark cell in weightlessness and soundproofed), does not survive a few days. Development, the search for a new risk - insecure employment, since, opening up new ways and taking new in your life, we must make room for him, parting with the old. And parting with something familiar does not exist without sadness. Avoiding the sadness and uncertainty, we often put ourselves in a tin and fall into it in a quiet river, going with the flow.

I have met so many people who did not want to experience their losses, and therefore sought to forget, gloss over, smooth over their negative feelings, to erase them from your life. They were forced to so much effort and time to spend on something that did not see my life at that time was that, to recognize and accept the loss of their deystviyai schedule of life were identified. These people are in bondage to fear in losses, so live, not knowing themselves and their true desires - they just run away from the pain of recognition that something has been lost. And so I do not get. The meaning of life is not to look, he is always here with you. " The meaning of life - life itself in all its manifestations.

Review

To say good-bye to loss and start living, make a list of losses. In the Toltec teachings (of which he wrote Carlos Castaneda), there is a special practice - the recapitulation. Following her, the man is a huge list of people with whom he had ever met in my life (even for 5 minutes and by accident), starting to record them from him segodnyash-day in the past before the birth, then goes to a secluded place and remember all the losses , resentments and other negative feelings associated with these people, living them again, easier and easier.

Goodbye to all, with what you said goodbye before, just all that you still could not forgive, you free yourself from the burden that pulls you into the land. So made a living organism: to eat, you must release the intestine. Our psyche has the same structure. The only thing - should warn you. In psychotherapy, when pro-rabatyvanii negative feelings, there is a rule: when such work can not take any significant decision, find out with whom a relationship in 48 hours. For your own safety and to avoid irreversible damage relations urge you to follow this rule. It is important to experience emotions, before taking any decision in life, or in the heat of passion can make a lot of ill-considered actions, which are then you'll be sorry.

If someone calls you to something that you do not tend, if someone wants you to conform to its expectations - no need to quarrel, boil or irritated enough to say: "It's - not mine, it is - not for me, I do not fit. " Of course, in life there are situations when you need to compromise. It is important to do it consciously: if you're going to compromise with someone in order to maintain the relationship, it is useful to discuss the compromise in the form of a treaty rather than to think that another guess by default. The main criterion for the contract - one goes out on what exactly, deliberately and self-prepared, not blaming the partner in his "heroism." Relationships are difficult, and with them can handle only nelenivye people. If you care to be with others - working on relationships. They are worth it. The joy of sharing and understanding, support and warmth will be the reward for all your efforts.

In order for relations with the people do not become tangled situations and views, be honest. To understand exactly what to say to another - just talking about myself. This will prevent you from settling anything, proving wrong the other, reconciliation of views, because if you talk about yourself, nothing that could deny: because only you know who you are, what you are and how you what a treat. Only you know what you feel and what you want. It is impossible to dispute, although many have tried. Remember that none of us knows what can happen even after five minutes and, therefore, be in the here and now - is that really makes sense. Our regret about the past or fears of the future - it attempts to avoid this.