That strengthens the family?
On the way to the harmony of relations is often a barrier, consisting of our qualities. Of these, we often do not want to sacrifice for his love. This misunderstanding and disagreement, and failure to yield. This and different views on relations with relatives, a different approach to parenting, different attitude toward leisure time. This different ideas about cleanliness and comfort - these and many other factors, the conditions that poison the family fortune.
That strengthens the family? Is there any clear conditions for creating family harmony? Probably - there. But this should come. To this we must be prepared. The essence of our life is that evil and filth swirling around us and try to "stick", and good and joy as the "bird of happiness" - close, but to grab its tail, we must work hard.
Probably, it is meant to correct that only the success of bringing satisfaction to which is thorny road. A "Freestuff" cheese is only in a mousetrap. In the "mousetrap" family conflict, or in terms of dissatisfaction. Or even in conditions of poverty and oppression of the individual.
By the way, incidentally. Poverty - is not when there is no money, and when there is no time to live. And life, too, by the way - is the ability and opportunity to do good deeds. (The theory of the structure of life, 2 nd edition). Note between the lines, that the work is just a means of sustaining life. So what to do to start your way to build harmony?
Here's an option. Agree on the principle - "you me, I thee." Or even this principle is to take yourself to the potential before the family relationship. Otherwise, agree that at the beginning of the family "tensions" at the beginning of the confusion, each party couples have the right to a principle - "you give me, I tell you." D. Carnegie explained very simply - do not try to remake each other. This phrase as a slogan. The meaning of a deep but hidden away deep.
First, as in life does not happen, not to try to redo it. And even if we try not to speak and not to criticize, then this energy is accumulated discontent and subsequently spill into a silly scandal. And secondly, it is much easier and more useful to use the principle of "you me, I tell you." For example, like this. I do not like a certain character traits. I ask to listen to my opinion, work on yourself, fix it, this line eventually - a little change. And in return I'll take from you what you do not like me. Accept without bargaining, without objection. Accept the offer, the desire to change one trait of my character. And pledge to listen to the opinion, to work on themselves to fix the line, eventually - a little change. I like you, I'll.
Mutual requests
By the way, again, by the way, if your family will not be mutual requests, it would not be life, and boredom! So, the recognized Dale Carnegie something not thought betrayed when the ban on changing their partner in marriage. But if you ask for something without reciprocal benefits, or more so, insists it will just be a trivial attempt to alter its half of what Carnegie has so clearly warned.
One that I might mention, and discuss one important aspect of life: the condition of the dominant personality in couples. If anyone's dominant, someone's leadership is equally satisfactory to both parties, it is likely to conflict in such a family there. But conflict begins when it begins to act in the principle of "Spit on a stone found. When two "character". And no one can give. (See Appendix - "Revelations of courage").
While there is a health, yet there is a desire, as long as there is libido, a woman has authority over a man. But does not know how to use it. Understands that the power is there, but unhappy with his inability to use it. And the man realizes that the woman has power over him, and unhappy with it. Implicitly. Subconsciously. She is unhappy, he was dissatisfied with ... But enough to enter into their relationships are some simple elements of erotic games, and discontent will not find at all. Enough to have a good (!) Book about sex and not be too lazy to work it together.
But maybe not in the case of laziness. Maybe, just once? Maybe it was just crazy is not enough to organize your time so deliberately to get rid of subconscious discontent? But more often, when both halves of the "dress" for a "yoke" livelihood, but in the evening hiding from each other - who in the TV, someone in the garage. Or jointly pull "harness" problem, trouble, trouble. In the evening, "relax" over beer (holidays, friends, clubs) to the next day again pull "harness." And so from year to year.
But two individuals still compete! Someone begins to dominate in one direction, someone else, someone has accumulated irritation of one of the reasons someone has for another. The result - conflict gradually begin to flare up. Or someone "closes" in itself. And the talk of the category of "harmonious family relations" into being the "how to survive." Do not be too lazy to think. Do not be afraid to say. And "it would take somewhere in the mind" to negotiate. And yet to read a useful book ... Who needs them, these family conflicts?!
