Our attitudes in different combinations are added to the technology of life. This deals with existential psychology - the science of how the perception of life determines the destiny of man. "Sow a statement - get character - reap a destiny." Knowledge, language that we tell our children and affect their behavior, emotional responses, reasoning, relationships with others. Most often we do it spontaneously, unconsciously, "on the machine." Technology life can be imposed to man, and can be consciously learned, improved and modified. A man can learn to maneuver, trying to act more effectively, clearly understand what the problem it solves.

Psychologist Vladimir Druzhinin highlighted the following technologies (variants) of life:

"Life begins tomorrow" - that's life with the postponement of important events and decisions until later. The most interesting things happen in it "later on," when the circumstances will develop, "" fall event "or" we ourselves dozreem "to personal breakthroughs. We set up our children in this life, when we say: "Here you grow up you learn!" In this worldview the most important thing in life is waiting for us at the end, the Day of Judgement. So you can hypertrophy of this principle. Syndrome otstrochennoy life is fraught with the fact that an adult would avoid risky decisions, sharp turns in life and try not to assume any additional obligations. In this case, it would not be tortured conscience or a sense that something he does not get in life. Someday, everything goes!

"Life-delay" - a worldview or a fatalist, who is waiting for external events as a signal for action, or conformist, who believes that we should not strain to resist its relations with the immediate environment. In the end, ever get a chance to enroll in another way. Such a life - a life cautious person. "The curve displays! During the make! "- We say to themselves and children. And then wonder why they are so infantile, and would not want to develop and actively change their lives, to go further.

"Living by the rules" - that's life people who are very easy to adapt, adopt rules for living environment and begin to live according to them, even if it contradicts their beliefs, and psychology. We all teach our children good manners and good taste. This insures them against absurdities in many situations, but it hampers their intellectual curiosity and ability to experiment.

There are observations that show that the good manners we are more accustom girls than boys. Notorious reputation brats gives the boys a greater degree of freedom and dissent. Neatness, punctuality, diligent performance - the norm for girls. Everyone knows that girls are better learners than boys. Although it is the boys and then demonstrate higher achievement. One reason is paradoxical - they do not "ram" good manners and patterns.

"Life is like a dream" - it is immersed in dreams, dreams of what could be life, this or that situation. When we tell our children: "Do not think, do not worry! Let's see a movie, cartoon, play a computer game ... "- we invite them into the world of dreams and dreams. Oblomov, Manila with their vanilla names will never run out in Russia. Inactive, sedentary nature will forever delight your heart and mind with bright pictures and sweet cakes in sleep and waking.

Life - a waste of time " - is a life-pastime. Hedonistic approach to his fate compels us to live life in full force, "live fast", "catching buzz. Mass culture of entertainment tells you how to take free time, lays particular stereotypes relations work and leisure. Obeying the standard pressure and fashion, so many people at once suddenly start playing tennis, horseback riding or chasing balls in the bowling. "Life is a waste of time" - a technique of avoiding the real issues, difficulties and challenges. Satisfaction and pleasure cease to be a consequence of the effort. They can receive directly - by visiting an attraction after watching a blockbuster, having bought myself a new thing.

 "Life against life" - this world-killers and soldiers. Radically-minded people are not willing to accept alternatives in life. "To Kill a few," "Do not you ever do so, I refuse you! I'll throw you on the street. Here you will know what cold and hunger! "We think that by sending a curse to their children, we are subjecting them to moral punishment. In fact, we are psychologically destroys them. "Anyone who would act against the will of the father or mother, shall be deprived of a normal human life!" That's what we tell them it really is.

This model of life is most actively inculcated boys. We are preparing the boys for war. "This man should be able to keep guns in their hands." Abstract, outdoor setting at winning turn your child into the eternal soldier who knows no other work and other achievements, but the aggressive incursions into foreign territory. "Survival of the fittest!" - The law of the jungle, not a modern civilized society. Children should be taught to handle, control your emotions. They should understand that aggressive person a danger to others. Old tales are taught one thing: the evil, dangerous aggression, but they can be resisted. Good, friendly people a majority. They always win, even though it is not easy.

"Life as an achievement of the objectives" - a life goal-oriented people, but with specific material goals, which are not always associated with high ideals. These people amaze us that know how to set goals and achieve them. They make sure that everything that happens in their lives, depends on them. "Man himself architect of his own happiness", "Everything depends on you!", "Life - it is a sport, winning only the strongest and most persistent - that is what we are talking to their children. "You - best of all, you win!" Life turns into a race, competition, stiff competition. Alignment of individual achievements, characteristic of Protestantism, is spreading rapidly in our country. Encouraging the children commitment, we must not forget to teach them to relate their goals with the motives, thoughts and expectations of others. Do not forget that the end does not justify the means, and every man must remember to whom he aspires to the goal.

"Life is art" - a life devoted to creativity. Such people tend to spend time alone over the manuscripts, or in the studio, making sketches, or puzzling over formulas or draft new cars. They can hit us helpless. They can irritate their failure to adapt to external real life (although for the sake of justice must be said that humanity is loyal to the geniuses). In short, most of us are ready to admire the genius from afar, but in real life, would prefer to stay away from such a distance. If you have a gifted child, you will inevitably have to deal with the theme "talent and life, talent and luck," "talent, creativity and love." Fad Russian parents - the ability of their children. To this topic we will return in the very next chapter.

"Life is like an existential constructor" - a person's life, capable of maneuver. Such people not only keeps their brains included, he constantly chooses the tactics and correlates them with their strategic objectives. But most of all I admire the ability of people to combine their interests with others. These are the people the team. At least they do not go to their targets cold and calculating, and look around. Such a person will worry about the development and promotion of their environment is no less than his.

Each of us has the right to develop his own philosophy and approach to life, and psychologists we can not decree. But his philosophy is hard to see impartially evaluate and modify. No need to wonder why our children make mistakes, we like them would not have been taught. Each of the technologies of life reflects the various settings: hedonistic, contemplative aesthetic, philosophical, etc. For their successful combination of a good idea to learn to distinguish between them and knowingly send their children.