Tell me honestly, do you often walk into bars, clubs, restaurants alone? Comfortable do you feel when you sit at a table without a company? You can go alone to a bar or club and sit there for a long time and have fun? You can walk around and look at the lingerie in the haberdashery shop and feel comfortable? You can seduce any girl alone, without support? Well, if yes - then you are a guru. Maybe pray for you, oh great member? Often do you visit such places alone, without an attractive woman and you feel comfortable with this?

Most guys are behaving very nervously outside the circle of friends in such places. (For example, in a shop for women.) Many people say: "Yes, I often make fun with a friend there!" But try to walk there alone. Almost every guy worries in one of those situations. And I think that you are no exception. Anyone, in fact, feels nervous trembling in his unfamiliar surroundings. Even the most courageous and sociable people sometimes will feel a little uncomfortable when they zabredut the club, where nobody knows. We define a disturbance as "situational."

Situational anxiety does not mean that you are afraid. No! Situational anxiety and shyness - are two different things. You can be outgoing and brave among their friends and anxious in certain situations. For example, when an attractive girl walks by, and you alone. Often I see how guys are easily and simply drink and get acquainted with the girls, fun zazyvaya them: "Hey, girl, go with us! Where are you? "But they work very hard, because:

a) They are under a degree;

b) a lot of them!

Five of the three girls? I, too, young eagles in roaming! Wads! But if this gallant band of divide and leave without drinking, then, as a rule, all heroism is not clear to evaporate. This does not mean that guys are cowardly, but rather, individually, each of them feels that same "situational anxiety." After all, when you're in someone else for your company, you do not have any support and you realize that you can immediately perceive quite differently. If the mother company you love, then in another - all under a fig for you. As a result, you usually turn myself in and think of something. You have in mind include the so-called "internal dialogue". You start paranoia about what people do nothing that gets accustomed to you.

 But this is just a hallucination. You crushed the assumptions that are based on your illusory feelings, not facts. And as a result of your individual qualities of social change, your body language is focused on oborone.Esli as you begin to avoid situations such as, for example, a single trip to the club, then your excitement turns into real fear. This maneuver I call passive phobia. What's happening? Here's what: instead go to a club, you play on the computer or watching telly. You make choices based on fear. Instead of sleeping with a cool girl, what are you doing? You have done so even once?

I will tell you this ... Often we even do not really understand what we fear. We go to bed early, and in fact could go hang out at some klubeshnike. So sorry if you did live. But you can get rid of the emotions and get rid of imaginary horror stories that prevent you to go further down the road of seduction. Now that you understand why it's important to get rid of this situational emotions and learn to feel "his" in any place and at any time, talk about how to achieve this.

Find a contingent of like-minded

Initially propose to evaluate the following situation. In order to feel more comfortable, you need support, right? And the problem boils down to, to find it in an environment unfamiliar to you people. Of course, you're not used to feel that afraid of them. Many of those who engage in public speaking, at one time felt the same way. At the head of the illusion that you are alone, and suddenly all the people united against you, assistance and have nowhere to wait. Either way this sentiment is familiar to all, so far digging will not.

The question is how this emotion to overcome? Competent speaker to gain the trust of an unfamiliar audience, usually during a speech tries to fix his attention on a few people. Some of them are like on the flanks, and one - in the center. He appealed in his speech was to them, look them in the eye, asked something and gets the nod as a sign of a man that he supports it. Finding the conditional like-minded people, he feels that he now has a team of people involved in the process, and his "situational anxiety" disappears, as if it was not.

This strategy is easy to use anywhere. Is randomly selected people, the most adequate and externally located to you, which you can begin to contact. Having secured his support, you continue to accelerate, lift your mood and receives a bonus of confidence, because now you're here not alone. You can go to a bar and immediately establish contact with the first available person at the bar, leaving him a couple of words: "How is beer?" (Main - immediately! IMMEDIATELY! Instantly! Remember, the rule of spontaneity and automatism - one of the most substantive and important rules at acquaintance.) establish contact with the bartender - "plus one". And then continue in the same spirit ... all the girls passing by saying: "Hello." But do not forget, wait for a girl to answer, or say something to her such things, to contact established.

Your goal - as many casual contacts, more, more. Then after half an hour all you will already know in person. From the initial barriers in communication will be over. First contact destroys the barriers, which grow higher, the longer you delay the time of first contact. Therefore, the action in an unfamiliar environment automatically: come immediately opened! And you will, just like the speaker to the audience, exactly. If you do not know the audience, first met her.

To delve into yourself when you get acquainted with a girl?

First, consider the fact that such "internal dialogue". When you are directed inward (you say to yourself), this process monitors your introvert and does not allow you to relax - and hence see what is outside. So you lose your powers of observation. You analiziruesh risk situation and ultimately make decisions that are usually based on unrealistic preconceived beliefs that are usually defined by fear and excitement. Dive into the stands at a job that requires serious intellectual investment. But when to involve women, using state of the internal focus is harmful. Your brain has less to dream and think about the situation, force should be directed towards action. And this is another mode of operation of the organism, more than disinhibition.

When you're inside, you think about the purpose or result. "And she likes me?" But when you focus outward - you manage the situation. When you're inside, you think about all the things that can go wrong. When you're outside it - you are operating on autopilot, the situation adequately. You're relaxed and act natural, relaxed, no matter what you say. Think about how you behave with your close friends? You're relaxed. Likewise, they should behave with new friends and the opposite sex. Ras-weak-but-flax. Then you will not beg the question: "Well, what can I say more?"

How to switch itself on the world? To switch, in a place where you want to start to get acquainted with the girl and spoke to some man - any and everything. It is important to someone just to talk, that's when you switch to the desired mode. No matter what kind of reaction in humans, and what you said to him: the weather, nature, politics - no matter who that person - a waitress, shop assistant, a boy who gives stikersy, etc. The main thing that you started to switch. And then, on the rise, state your change.