Difficulties in communication - a serious problem for today's children. Almost every day they have to come into contact with strangers, and not every one of them set up a friendly against a child. The load on the psyche is very high. Our children sometimes can not cope with such difficulties, and go from them, are hidden. To tell the truth, and an adult have a hard time, not to mention the kids. They are elementary get lost in a complex and mysterious world of human relations. Complicated and sometimes contradictory rules put them in a deadlock. Why can not borrow from strangers on the street candy and toys, and when a stranger my aunt comes home and hands chocolate, waiting for my mother, I take it? How to learn to play with other children on the court, that they not taken me my toys? Maybe, just give it to someone's nose, all the rest have realized that to me is better not to get involved?

Different children with varying degrees of success and speed can learn and understand how to use different behavior patterns among men, but still, you should not rely solely on their own strength. Such carelessness can subsequently dear to them, and you too, do. One of the possible consequences might be shy child. It can manifest as a mild and at advanced stage - from a nervous blush, appearing in a strange place or when dealing with strangers to stuttering and tics. Statistics show that parents of girls in several times less likely to seek a specialist. And this is not due to the fact that girls are less shy (just the opposite!), And the fact that in our traditional culture it is considered that "shy girl to face."

Turtles, who are hiding their heads in the shell, hedgehogs that fold up into a ball at the first sign of danger, and your shy child - one field of berries. They are ready to sink into the earth, if only they had not been touched. Their favorite character - the invisible man. But really really so bad? Things can be much worse. Behind the mask of shyness can hide the problem a totally different plan. Your child may be born leader who does not have the opportunity to realize their desire and disguised demure and skromnika. In this case, you just need to pay close attention to those areas in which your child is doing well, and help further develop their abilities. After some time the child will become confident in themselves and their abilities open and happy person.

Maybe so, which is extremely sensitive and emotionally delicate - there are such children - the child is deliberately avoiding close contact, no tears to be a leader just because he did not want to hurt him less delicate and finely organized people (both children and adults) . Try to at least some influence on him, explain that you can not always be with him and protect him from unpleasant contacts. Sooner or later he will have to go to the "big world" in which no one would be fine with his psychic organization. Psychic "hardening" - this is what you need this child.

Try to develop erudition, imagination and quick thinking of your children. Savvy and knowledgeable children are much less likely to suffer from shyness. They know exactly what they want to say at the moment, they know how to express his thought, and know how to defend their point of view. It is much easier to meet new kids, they are easy to find "common ground" and much faster approach each other. Shy children are very willing to communicate. Help them with this! Do not blame her crumb that he was silent, but try to teach him how to overcome the barrier. First, of course, will be hard. And later, when a child believe in themselves, each contact will be easier and easier. Finally, the day will come when your kid himself put his hand to some undecideds, and tell him "Let's be friends!". And that will shred and your victory.

There are also stubborn, who with the help of a deaf silence, trying to assert its authority over adults. They are called "mutistami" (mutist "means" dumb "), or sverhzastenchivymi children, but such behavior can hardly be called shyness. Typically, these undecideds extremely difficult, stubborn nature. They are - small domestic despots and tyrants, subordinating the household of his iron will. Their silence they are trying to manipulate people, and it is unwise to indulge in this. Liberate them, of course, it is necessary, but must first gently and unobtrusively to overcome their stubbornness and willfulness.

As also appears shy and that is her real reason? Psychologists believe that shyness - a preoccupation of the child to himself, plus an inferiority complex. A shy child quite sincerely feels worse than others, tend to exaggerate their flaws, as real and imaginary, and does not wish for this to make anything to change. To overcome shyness, try to convince your child that he was not only no worse, but in many ways superior to other children, raise the level of his self-esteem, as well as gradually and gently persuade him that the world is full of really unhappy people, try to instill in him compassion and non-indifference to the misfortunes of others. So you "turn" him to the outside world, having overcome his penchant for soul-searching, and show him life in all its glory.

Often shy children to blame their own parents. Analyze your behavior - and how often do you yourself go somewhere people, how many friends you have, how often do you come to visit me? Often, parents are engaged in house policy "we have no one, and we do not need anybody." So what can we expect from children? Our children to imitate us, and if it is so quiet and not prone to communicate child grows up in a family that speaks little to the outside world, it is unlikely that he will avoid the scourge of shyness. Very rarely happens that the true self-consciousness associated with some deficiency, most often physical, which is clearly evident, making the child feel "not so". Parents of these children are usually scrambles to save the child from the complexes associated with the exterior, and succeed in this. Their children are often characterized by sociability and cheerfulness.

Often shy children grow up in families in which adopted an authoritarian parenting style. Raised in continuous dictation, children do not even try to take some stand-alone, not harmonized with the parents actions. In addition, they are helpless and neizobretatelny in situations that require a minimum of creative thought. So what to do if we want to help my child? Let's start with ourselves. Reduce their demands to the child, become less critical. This does not mean that the child will still permitted, but within reasonable limits, he can decide any questions. Try to worry less, be looseness and easy to communicate. Become an example to his child, and he was like a sponge, soak your edification.

Certainly, children need adult care, but always leave the child a place to maneuver, so he will not have the feeling that it cornered. Anyone will resist, will be withdrawn and morose, if he felt that he was denied freedom of choice. Some kids are stubborn, refusing to communicate with people and cause a lot of inconvenience to their whims, others begin to "military action" against the imposed on them by behavior. Anyway, none of them does not tolerate the status quo, which does not suit them. Do not be afraid to praise the child. Do it not for something, and just like that. Many fear "zahvalit" child afraid that he would be presumptuous and arrogant. However, the praise - it is the stimulus, without which a man loses interest in activities. Particularly shy person. Especially a child. Shy child in general impossible zahvalit. Even if you praise him daily for months, he still will doubt and cautious.