Should I criticize a man - an issue that sooner or later confronts the woman. I have to say: absolutely no criticism can not be dispensed as a legitimate criticism - it is an instrument of influence, which brings great benefits in terms of training. Also know that such behavior strategy, as excessive compliance, and the absolute permissiveness can irreparably damage the character of any member of the male species. So whether it is necessary to criticize a man ? Stands, but paramount rule of criticism: it can not be public, because it demeans the dignity of your men, and produces only negative emotions towards you. He's home "pet", here and criticize it at home, with an eye for an eye.

Second rule: select the appropriate tone . You have to watch not only for the fact that it is to say, but also how to pronounce it. By the way, pets, without understanding the meaning of words, primarily responsive to the intonation. It should be noted that the two-legged pets, and indeed all members of the human species, in this sense to them are similar. Therefore, your vote should not even remotely resemble the menacing growl, yip malicious, hysterical yelps or whining wimp. I did not appeal to you to always talk with your home "pet" a sweet voice, especially if it's something naughty or wrong. Intonation can be strict, and even slightly resentful, most importantly - the sound of your voice did not cut his ear.

The third law of good criticism: start it with a compliment, with praise for two-legged "pet". Remind me about his past achievements, say something like: "I was so pleased when you wiped over a floor, why not do so consistently?". It does not matter that this very last time and did not exist, most importantly - your pet will want to continue to please his adored mistress, and aggression towards her he does not even arise. By the way, like so quietly we'll come to another important topic. Probably, from the psychology of you are familiar concepts such as "I-message" and "You are the message." And if you do not know, now you'll understand the examples.

Take two sentences: "You again did not take their dirty dishes in the sink!" And "I was upset when she saw the dirty dishes on the table." Which of these phrases, in your opinion, take on a momentum proper educational effect? Of course, the second, she is a "I-message", which for various psychological reasons (we will not go into them) is better "comes" to your two-legged "pet". My advice - use when communicating with your pet as much as possible "I-messages", and soon you will be convinced of their advantages over the "You-messages". Not necessarily the "I-message" begins with the word "I" and "You-message", respectively, with the word "you." Can be "You are the message of" disguised "I-message", eg "I think you are - a slut." Their use is useless, because the pet will still perceive the true, profane meaning of his mistress.

So, you understand that no reason to abuse a pet, to insult him, to criticize strongly discouraged. First he will show aggression, then it is likely to reflect on changing the hostess, then you probably do not want. In general, if you often feel anger, resentment and other negative emotions in relation to the two-legged "pet", then maybe he stopped you for something to organize? Maybe we need to understand in your relationship, perhaps, the gap is inevitable? In any case, until you get into it myself, it is not necessary to show displeasure, and then you can just lose a man.

How to talk with a man?

And what are the words must be in your vocabulary to communicate with a man? It's sweet words, words of admiration, approval and encouragement. However, and with them we must be careful. Actually, not quite a simple question, what is better - nedohvalit or, conversely, perehvalit man? With regard to the four-legged pets it can still be solved more or less clearly, but here on the "pets" biped ... And yet, I think, gentle words should not be overused, because, firstly, in all good middle ground, and Secondly, these are encouraging for the ears and hearts of pet sounds can simply depreciate from frequent repetition. Of course, at the initial stage of your relationship two-legged pet very happy when he hears that you have it - the most-most-most, and then begins to perceive the compliment for granted, and gradually all pleasant emotions from him, and, hence, the educational effects come to naught. We must try not to reach it.

Words of encouragement are very important, but they also should not be uttered in vain. Yes, in training first, you can compliment your home "pet" for every little progress. But as the need to consolidate to cut "a portion" of approval, otherwise he simply will have no incentive to move forward. By the way, this rule applies not only to taming, but its success at work, in sports, collecting herbarium specimens and all areas of the application of forces and efforts. Let him know that praise is not so simple because, otherwise he will treat elementary words of encouragement in his address for granted and, therefore, will not commit acts that cause adored mistress pleasant for him the reaction. In fact, why make any gestures, and when everything is at hand, so even on a silver platter?

And one golden rule of approval. If your pet has done something significant, which is clearly laudable, it in no way be it without the leave of praise. Suppose he conquered Mount Everest, has won Olympic gold medals, won promotion and just when you're away on its own initiative vacuum nest and even washed the floors, and you - zero attention. He inspired and encouraged by, waiting for the promotion, and you do not care. What happens next? Absolutely, at first appears puzzling, which then gives way to resentment and the occurrence of unpleasant thoughts: and for what he actually tried that? And then disappears incentive to achieve something. Thus, the two extremes - praise to the nth degree and praise in the red - a very dire consequences, so you should not bring to them.

Even if your pet, showing initiative and did something not quite right, still praise. And then calmly and lucidly explain what is wrong and how to act in the future, rather than throw with criticism, with profound maxims like "You do not know - not try," or with the execution of the tragedy with the words "Well, I knew it! . In any case, the initiative should encourage, provided that it is, of course, was a healthy initiative. And yet something about how to talk to a man. Never give him a promise in a hurry, or just spur of the moment that he left you alone for a short time.

At the moment, maybe he will do so, but then the quiet life you can not see: all the time will be reminded of that promise that you gave him so recklessly. After all, it is likely that you have promised something that you do not want to perform, or simply unable to do so. A person who is not fulfilling its promises, does not produce very good impression. And the fact that your two-legged pet may start to give up on beloved mistress, more flowers compared with other consequences. Berry will be that it will no longer keep his word, saying the actions quite specific reasons - namely, your behavior. Therefore, when such situations arise, it is better to offer to discuss the possibility of an action later in the serene atmosphere, and then the above problems would not arise.