Being responsible means simply to take action as your own, consider them as the author himself. It is important to understand that if you did something, then you are not forced to it nor the circumstances or your unconscious, or fate, or social pressure, not to mention the boss or family members. This kind of pressure, of course, affect your behavior, but you weigh and choose, what influences give greater importance: external influences or influences your personal needs. If you decide that you do not control the situation, it only means that you choose not to weigh and choose, that is, choose not to see that you have a choice. Even if the results are all available at your disposal elections will not satisfy you, recognize that it neoznachaet that you have no choice, it means that you refuse to choose between real and prefer to dream about ideal.

Responsibility does not equal guilt. Responsibility - is to take over authorship of their actions, the same wine - it is an imposed social rules and morality, feeling that helps make human-friendly society. Responsibility helps to know that your life in your hands, you can change it as you wish. Wine also makes you a victim. If you - the author of your life if you have created a situation in which you live, it means that you yourself can fix it and to change and develop to your liking. The responsibility is not equal to the load. Because we answer only for their lives and only for their feelings. The exception is responsible for children - for as long as they have not grown. And just because parents decide to have children, so as long as the children do not become adults, parents are responsible for their health, education and learning the art of living.

But none of us is responsible for what choices other people do, for what they feel. The following exercise will help us understand what are the limits of liability. It limits the role of a defined frame of your responsibility, because every role - is a tacit agreement about what function the person performs in this role, and what is not. The human body is designed in such a way as to move away from unpleasant stimuli and situations - so runs the instinct of self-preservation. The exceptions are two options: if today's discomfort promises more fun in the future, or if today's discomfort is to avoid further trouble. If a person sohranyaetneuve-rennoe behavior, therefore, in this there is some benefit, some sort of acquisition, for which he retains this behavior. The choice to keep such behavior is often not realized. It is important to make him aware that you could actually choose: Do you keep this pattern of behavior, and this benefit, or abandon them.

Do not be afraid to act

Often the fear of making mistakes, doing things on your own, the person refuses action at all. Many people think that you can not make mistakes that can predict something, avoid something. If it were really possible, if we could look into the future - you would not be reading this book. Because we made so that we can not know the future, the knowledge about the world we acquire only through the actions or outcomes. If we decide that action can lead to some consequences, and then refuse to action - it is our own choice. But before such a decision, it is important nevertheless to understand, so there are terrible consequences, and whether they can be a reality, or they exist only in your imagination?

To do this, do the following exercise.

Choose from all your important things today is to be solved. Describe what you stop to take a decision in favor of one or the other choice. Maybe there are several possible solutions - answer about each of them the following questions.

1.Chego I fear what the consequences if I accept this decision?

2.How can I protect myself from what I'm afraid, or to increase their confidence that if the effects of which I am afraid will happen?

3.Chi actions could help me, if these effects occur?

4.Kakie it could be action?

5.What can I get for themselves, these actions support needed me? What words to say to this? What action to take?

6.How I can take care of it yourself - do something that could make for me another one?

7.Kak I can take care of yourself now?

Now, for each alternative solutions make a series of actions that you take in the event that your fears will be fulfilled.

After compiling a list of actions for each decision to answer the questions:

1.What do you feel now towards your problem to be solved?

2.How to change your view on the issue after exercise?

Record your answers in the diary of observations.

Often we find a lot of reasons and excuses in order to prove to himself or others, that the situation has no solution. Then it allows you to change nothing in life, after all the changes - it's pretty hard, new, unexpected. In some ways - even dangerous. For example, it is dangerous to understand that you are something not learned or something had spent time in vain. Throughout his life, a person is in a constant search for balance mezhdubezopasnostyu and development. And she and other needs essential to a happy life, but unsure of the person busy with his safety than development, and because his life is boring, does not satisfy it, in it a lot of irritation and discontent. But in order to maintain their heightened vigilance, security, a man ready to abandon attempts to take new steps and take in the newness of life.

Often, these people complain: "In my life there is nothing new, everyone knows and is clear - nothing good is happening." But it is not. New happens all the time, but one person takes the fate of the proposal, and the other to give them up, finding in it more and more reasons. Our life - is what we think about it. This idea is not new, but I'll try to decipher it here as I see it in the context of responsibility. If we think that "not enough time" - we recognize the right to build our lives to a certain time. When we say "I'm responsible for it, I manage this, I decide where and how much to pay - we create our own lives. Each of us is responsible for both actions, and for refusing to action. Responsibility to yourself.

If you do not take responsibility for your life, it takes someone else. And then the other is doing with your life that he sees fit. Do not make the decision not to make a choice - this is also a decision and choice. If you do not take responsibility for your life, then everything runs your life, but not you. If you are not ready or do not know how to take responsibility at some particular moment - not in a hurry to give it to someone else. Let it rest on the floor while you get ready to take it.