Problems shy children

Psychologists have conducted surveys in which students participated. It turned out that the majority of shy children consider themselves unattractive appearance - too low, high, thick, thin - and assess their level of intelligence is lower than their peers nezastenchivye. Obviously, the standards of these children much too high, which leads to a decrease in importance in their own eyes. Shy people are constantly comparing themselves with others, and often a comparison is not in their favor.

Sometimes erroneously assumed that the shy child reduced the level of intelligence. This view arises from the fact that the child finds it difficult to verbally demonstrate their abilities, difficult to answer that gives the impression of ignorance and inability. As a rule, written assignments shy children do no worse nezastenchivyh peers. Reticence is often perceived by children as a low level of intelligence. In some cases, shyness can affect the mental abilities - makes a person "fall into a stupor."

For example, a child must take part in the concert. Child much rehearsed, well-prepared for the performance, the time has come - and the child is lost. He stands on stage and can not squeeze out a word. At such moments a man shyness takes the ability to think logically, people feel small, helpless and stupid, no matter what can not. Psychological research shows that intelligence did not suffer from shyness, yet shy children often see themselves as less shrewd and intelligent.

Often this is because shy children are less focused on success, sensitive to evaluate teachers and classmates, in case of failure or censure may experience severe confusion, which can completely inhibit the activity of the child. Own stiffness and the inability to speak publicly, they regard as a lack of intelligence. Problems shy children that they have primarily affected the scope of emotions and feelings. The kid is experiencing mixed feelings - he longs for a light and easy communication, but shy, afraid to seem uninteresting and turn in on themselves. On the one hand, he wants the world learned of his desire and ability, on the other - protects her inner world of brutal interference. Therefore, the shy child trying to find a refuge in invisibility, to dissolve into the crowd.

It is considered that shy children view themselves too low, do not appreciate their talents and exaggerate their flaws. In fact, self-esteem shy child may be perfectly adequate, but due to some reasons he may think that others are thinking about it a lot worse than he did. Often shy children at heart believe that they have different talents and high moral character, are eager to gain recognition and respect for others, but feel free to those feelings and consider them unworthy.

Shyness comes from his childhood ...

There are cases when people suffer from their shyness throughout life, because my parents (friends, teachers, relatives) say some phrase, because of which people feel very insecure. For example, my mother is angry that the kid can not draw with pencils house lines are the curves, close to the house cat walks, whose dimensions surpass himself a house. Mom in the hearts says: "Well you are, can not do anything normal!" The child takes this phrase on the note, the next time when he can not to anything to cope, he says that nothing can not do normally, Takes note of this statement and, accordingly, on the whole his work is held under the slogan.

The child does not see the point of their efforts, where his efforts are not appreciated. Thus, the child is confident that he can do something, but it sure others consider it no matter what can not. There is a gap in the assessment itself and the evaluation of that person other people, this gap usually increases with age. The child's relationship to itself passes through a relation to it other people, the gap of these two strips of relations is in it disharmony, fear that his behavior will make people think about it even worse, the child becomes withdrawn, if possible try to avoid intercourse. Shy children have such a feature of the requirement of the motivational sphere, as the predominance of personal motives above all others. Everything he does, he tries to do no good, as well as it should appeal to adults.

Constant expectation of evaluation by others holding the baby in constant tension, can not relax - and suddenly do something wrong? If a shy child falls into a new environment, his torturing doubts over all the possible and impossible reasons: whether they like my hair? Does it surprise them, my manner of speaking? All the great game of football, but I do not know. All very nice, and I'm ugly. And so on to infinity.