One is very well versed in the affairs of self-man said: "The problems are divided into those which can be solved by themselves, and those that are not addressed at all." Do we agree with this statement - a purely personal matter, but think about it is worth.

Our own problems - these are the problems of our state and relations with others.

Our state - is the result of how we get along with the outside world. Circumstances do not make a person. Rather, man himself organizes the atmosphere around him, one way or another in response to circumstances. Some people are constantly in a state of frustration and stress. They are constantly generate around the problem. They are very difficult to communicate and often shun such people. This is natural. What's the secret? People need each other, as some would have no doubt. We live among people, the people and all of us is very important that we think about how to treat us, what we mean to others. Loneliness, depression, problems and grievances , complexes - is often the result of breakdown in communication with others, problems in communication, and inability to find a way out of such situations. As you know, all the bitter events or the difficulty of transferring easier when next those who support or at least listen. Even tacit approval or sympathy is better than indifference or isolation.

But who are indifferent? Or to those who own at no one pays any attention, or to those who create too many problems.

The old principle, simple and correct - your attitude toward people should be so, what do you expect for yourself.

Yes, only one out of ten thank you, but this should be pleased.

But this does not mean you have to stick to all of his services, while telling stories about his generosity and universal ingratitude. No need to sort things out, to settle scores - this takes precious cells and wonderful moments of life. The greatest damage we cause resentment, which accumulate and corrode us from the inside, splashed out bursts of aggression often do not blame people.

Grievances

How often do we get offended by others? Probably quite often. So often that they themselves hurt soon turned into new problems. No, of course, I'm not saying that people who get offended very rarely, no. They are. But so few of them, except one who said that all the talk about their grievances? So what to do with them? There is a great tip that the best way tells us the right path of action: "Never mind." In fact - very simple - it's "never mind" issue, just ignore it as information. No man - no problem, Comrade Stalin said, and apparently this axiom is fully applicable to information. But here's the rub: the human psyche is constructed in such a crafty manner, that, having received not too positive information, "not to take her on the head" is not possible. Not too easy and "throw it out of my head."

 That is, we can consciously try to forget the negative, annoying, insulting to our situation, but some internal yo constantly reminds us of it. And that is typical - than we are diligently trying to erase the unfortunate episode, so sassy it in the memory itself is prescribed. Perhaps you have seen the situation when you, for example, healthy Naham in a public place. For example, in the queue. Practice shows that if a person time to react ("Do not apologize, the young man, I have you on the back spat") and "returned" the abuser due to him by law, the situation in general can be completed even very quietly. A surge of negative energy on both sides, of course, can only aggravate the conflict, but generally the aggressor, as a rule, expect an adequate response, and the victim, took the challenge and, accordingly, react to it, is unlikely to suffer serious psychological trauma.

Different matter if you're confused, "swallow" an insult and only coming out of turn, realize that your heart is moved heavy black snake. Abuser is gone, there is no one answer. It remains only to bitterly regret the fact that you did not gather, did not express it all, is not called the police, not ... What do I do? "Never mind?" Fine. We are, in general, and not try to ... But now it somehow it is taken. And the scene of our humiliation scrolls in my head dozens, hundreds of times, bringing in the heart of the pain and humiliation. Of course, there is a wonderful way to get rid of the dirty state. This is called "pass on" - to find a victim, and, in turn, to pour out his anger on her. Say, from a combination of the soul can be healthy easier. At least in this case we get rid of a very unpleasant role of the victim, replacing it with the role of aggressor.

But it is doubtful whether such a path could be called constructive. More so that we can lead is less than our abuser, and as a result, we can again be the victim. Yes, and to spoil relations with another person just because we have a lousy mood today, not worth it. As they say, do not spit into the well ... There are other ways to neutralize the offense. And some of them would be a sin to become better acquainted.

Thus, the method for highly spiritual and placability citizens. Simple and extremely effective. Lies in the fact that you just forgive her abuser.

The disadvantages of this method are that a truly forgive is not so simple. Not so much among us true Christians, who could pray for the health of your enemies and bless those who curse them. In this case, it would be useful to recall the indisputable merits of the decision: first, you lose the dubious pleasure of revenge offender, which in itself is already good, secondly, in the eyes of others (and their eyes as well) Forgiving is always on height and is an obvious sympathy, better yet, third, as claimed by the esoteric teachings, if a person is, in fact, was able to forgive the offender, then the situation like this does not happen again. Well, that's enough positives? More? Well. Typically, the person wrongfully offended another, tormented by well-known disease called conscience. Chances are if you are not going to answer him, he will look for you in order to repent of their sins. And this is not so rare as it seems. Here are just all depends on the completeness and sincerity of our forgiveness.

However, once again, just sincerely forgive the person is not as easy as it seems. We are constantly sharpening the worm of dissatisfaction, and even, apparently, almost forgiving the offender, sometimes resentment returned with renewed strength, absorbing our head. Well, we are unable to forgive, at least, not yet! What should I do? There is one good way to harmonize the situation.

Try to imagine yourself in the place of his abuser.

That same pensioners, who are crowding in the polyclinics, and you have a child is sick, and the press need to put on a prescription to take time off work for half an hour, the hospital now out of favor, and then they all crowded corridors. But try to imagine a lonely old woman who stands up with difficulty in the morning to the same clinic put on the same recipe print and on the market, it earns a pittance, which gives children and grandchildren, as you Mommy. Yes, and my back look at the indignant murmur can not be called friendly and full of respect for fellow human beings at a time. Rather, it can be interpreted as disdain. Okay ... We all are sinners. Well - you me, I tell you. It seems that in the calculation. And indeed feel better.