A childhood friend ... What lies behind these words to you? The whole world before our eyes at that moment, when we utter this phrase, - childhood, a world full of its colors, sounds and smells. We can not say that they are brighter or paler, but they're different because we were at the time by others. Memory of some people since childhood collects and stores in its bosom every stroke, every nuance in their pristine purity and completeness, while others - the golden age of childhood is removed, and is seen as through a haze. But almost all of us at the recollection of childhood's a sense of sadness about the irretrievable loss of something beautiful.

And friendship in childhood is very different. By itself, the first experience of friendship, not related, are not dependent on our choice, and relationships, first applied to the self-elected a man, painted in our minds halo pervootkrytiya. And everything that we do for the first time in my life, forever imprinted in our soul and heart like a jewel that can not take any years, any distance. In his childhood everything happens for the first time in our lives: the first step, the first house and yard, the first kindergarten, the first call. And, of course, the first boyfriend or girlfriend, the first attorney of our children's mysteries, seemingly from a height of past years so naive, cute and funny.

What stands at the origins of children's affections? As said, VA Sukhomlinsky, "... the need for a man born with a desire to find themselves in another person a source of joy, giving something of themselves." Does not that hard to disagree with this idea of our great teacher. Why do children begin to make friends? We are beginning to explore the world, and closer ties with another person - this is one way of knowing.There is a wonderful statement by A. Saint-Exupery: "You can only learn those things that tame ..." And what children's friendship, as the first attempt to tame creatures similar to us.

When it was many years ago and where? In your old favorite yard or at school, one of the changes? You have come to each other, smiled - and have since become inseparable. And here was over a period of loneliness for you, when time runs slowly and sadly, when all around seem so strange and incomprehensible. Now your time runs invisibly: just met, had a chat - and it is time to leave. There is a man who is always happy to you, ready to discuss with you any of your problems and share their own. Life is filled with meaning, now you do not just go to school or take a walk, now you're going to meet his friend.

Why this happened, why, of all variety of peers around you, you chose him or her?Perhaps now, after so many years, it is difficult to answer this question. Emerson tells a different story as "... the reflection of his ideal, his complement. But what prompted you to each other? You have selected or have chosen you, who made the first move? Who first suggested: "Let's be friends!" Perhaps no proposal was not, it all happened by itself, naturally and unobtrusively. Psychologists - amazing people: all - passion, love, affection - amenable to their analysis, even a children's friendship, they sort through, conducted numerous interviews and withdrew their laws.

How to start a friendship

I wonder why, in their view, children begin to make friends with their peers? Why in a moment the child is not enough communication with parents and other adults? It is known that it is in the age of 3-6 years parents have become the object of adoration for their children. For girls this is the idol of his father, and for boys - her mother.Nevertheless, during this period the child usually begins to try to communicate with their like, the same as it is, kids. So, when and for what reasons we have a child starting to make friends? According to psychologists, a child aged 3-7 years another thought primarily as a gaming partner. The choice most likely to happen by accident - two potential friend just happen to live nearby. During this period, relations are highly dependent on geographical proximity. Toddlers are not able to distinguish the views of other children from their own. Their attitude toward their peers may be called egocentric.

The next stage as they grow older - 9.4 years - characterized by one-sided: the child is able to distinguish between the interests of others on their own but have not yet prepared to recognize the need for an equivalent exchange. Friends, mostly prized for what they are doing for him. Some time later, according to observations of psychologists, in 9-12 years children understand friendship as a mutually beneficial, but still attached to its own interests more important than the principle of reciprocity.Furthermore, in 12-15 years, to the forefront the need for co-experience, cooperation for the sake of common interests. During adolescence, friendship is perceived as an autonomous interdependence.

Summarizing the experience of psychological research, there are three main stages of the development of friendly relations. First, this so-called situational attitudes, assumptions which are common activities, mutual assessment and proximity. Then the friendship becomes a contractual nature, when the first plan for the friends leave the strict implementation of the rules of friendship and high demands on the nature of the other. Finally, the third inner-psychological stage of basic importance is attached to the personal characteristics - honesty, loyalty and ability to intimacy.However, the relationship of "stages of friendship" with age is rather conventional.

This little excursion into the area of psychological research may help you to analyze the motives that have occurred in your case. We do not doubt that you, like everyone else, was a childhood friend. Who was it? The girl from your class? Or you lived on one landing, in the same house? Or maybe a friend since kindergarten?There are such amazing cases in life where friendship begins almost from the cradle.As the saying goes, "sitting next to the pots, then sat down for one game and even when it's time to choose the institution that turned out to be on a student's desk. Or maybe your a childhood friend of all and not a girl and a boy, his faithful comrade joint games and pranks. Friendship between boys and girls, it was friendship, not love, is quite common in real life.

Yes, a happy time - childhood. And there is no such person in the world who knows this just as well as you. In addition to your friend. He or she is probably the only ones who are together and even went along with you this way. As the two roads which for some time suddenly converged in the middle of a wide steppe, and went in different directions. But there was a total trip was a breeze, refreshing the same person, the same clouds cast a shadow over them, and exactly divided the sun its rays on a hot afternoon. Like a river to the left and right banks suddenly diverges into two channels, but the river seldom diverge for long. Two arms, like two hands, with the nearest corner, after the first bend connected again. And you? Where is your first and best friend? Do you know where and how he or she live? How long have you met, how long have congratulated each other on a birthday or new year?Remember!

Remember the eyes, the eyes of your friend. In them, as in a mirror, reflected all the fabulous world of your childhood. "A friend - a mirror for one another, no mirror bright!" - Said the poet. You with all my childish features, the angularity and recklessness, shyness and enthusiasm, your laughter and jump gait - to remember all this to your friend, just like you. Seeing you today, your boyfriend or girlfriend will remember you and yesterday, could not help looking at you like characteristics about the humorous and clumsy girl. Recalls that might not be such a confident girl and held a woman, what you have now, but the one yesterday, so cute and so lovely, so fresh and so naive. Surely, the same feelings you are experiencing and when vidites. But vidites you know? That is the question ....