Parents are certainly proud of all the successes of his offspring. But they are unconsciously jealous of the fact that at one time not taken advantage of, could not achieve anything. "We have no one helped to get higher education. We have not ended their institutions! And now, deny oneself, to only pay for your school! "- At the heart of this phrase is, no matter how awful, very ordinary jealousy. Often parents of the child's well-intentioned caution: "In this university you can not do, there so many thieves schemitsya", "At this company you will not get, you have no experience, but there is very high salary," "Not so You and beauty to become an actress, "" On television and without you a lot of stars, "" Do not even start this business, then to not get upset. " Parents can easily underestimate the self-esteem of the child, instead of strengthening its self-confidence and well programmed - did not succeed. "

A child under the influence of this directive usually does well at school and diligently perform all tasks, but at the critical moment exams somehow "sick or can not solve the problem. As an adult, a man in despair, realizes that his as if haunted by the evil rock. Everything that he puts his strength, suddenly "burst" due to circumstances beyond his control. He can not finish the job. Of course, he did not realize that these fun playing with him, his unconscious, strongly resembling that to achieve success - is to bring parents unhappiness and envy.

This directive raises a good, hardworking employees, but not businessmen. Because a businessman by nature, the perception of the world knows exactly what success descends suddenly, like love ... And the process of business for him is not a tedious routine, but a stormy ocean adventure in which so exciting to swim. Businessman could fail and it is easy to start from scratch, because it is unique, he - only he is successful just by being born. What should I do? Stop being a "good" girl! Learn to take risks plunge into the abyss and to believe in yourself! Let envy!

 "Do not be a leader"

These parental directive is clear: "Do not climb!", "Keep it safe," Do not gonoshis "," do not suffer from the disease star, "" Do not think you are better than others, "" Be like everything! " "No, baby, do not go, but what will they say?". Parents sending this order, are afraid of themselves play a leading role in waves during public appearances, life go to subordinates at work and at home, refusing to ask what they want. They do not shine or promotion, nor the best deals. Throughout his life, they spend as quiet as a mouse, but they had not noticed the fat and greedy cat. Parents, giving the directive, as a rule, act with the best intentions. Why give a reason for slander and envy of others? The main problem of people with this directive - withdrawal from any liability, not the ability to be a leader, a desire to hide from making important decisions ... What should I do? Act contrary! Keep it safe. climb. learn to speak in public, to defend their beliefs. forget about my shyness and fear of mistakes. Take responsibility for your life for themselves.

 "I do not belong"

"You have such a shy, so difficult," "It is unlikely that someone will love you as I am!", "You're special! It's not all appreciated! But I know what you're good, "" Who, besides me, will make your quirks? "," You're not like everyone else "- parents strongly emphasized, giving the child the order" does not belong. " The meaning of this directive can be decoded in this way: "I do not belong to anyone but me, for you - exceptional." The reason for this behavior of parents is that they themselves are afraid to communicate with other people. The man obeys the order, feels like a stranger among people, and often unfairly so others consider it an unsociable and introverted. Sense of "not belonging", "irrelevance other" will always pull the man into the parent family, as among other people he "alone". The best option exemption from the directive - a strong and reliable marriage.

 "Do not be friends", not "trust"

This directive is similar to the previous and the fifth "does not feel", but appears not to others, but in a relationship with one person. Parent phrase "No one can be trusted, but I can!" Treated the child as follows: "Any proximity is dangerous, if not intimacy with their parents." Given this directive, the child concludes that the whole world is dangerous, and nobody can be trusted. Bringing these solutions to adulthood, a person can always suspect and accuse the people around him in villainy, treachery, self-serving purposes. Remember, you certainly told my mother: "He is using you for their sexual pleasures," "A man must pay for it," "You'll get pregnant, and he'll give up!" ...

For such a woman must have problems in emotional and sexual relations. It is characterized by the role of "victim", which is the opposite sex is constantly cheating and throws. Suspicion prevents these people not only in his personal life, but also in establishing business contacts. Trying to somehow compensate for their lack of confidence to the world, such a person will try to control everything, all manage to do any work at all. How can I help myself? Learn to analyze situations: where, to whom and to what extent you can trust. ... and trust. do not be afraid to trust ...

 "Do not do"

Parents with a heightened sense of anxiety did not allow the child to perform many common actions: "Do not touch the cat - scratch," Do not climb trees - fall down, "Do not roller-skating - break it," "Do not go out at night on the streets - rape," " Do not play in the yard - you get into bad company "," Do not smoke - will die from lung cancer. " Embrace the fear of the process of life parents are worried about any nonsense and fairly exaggerate the size of the danger of "not just in case", saying: "Wait, do not do it. Ponder carefully, and suddenly .... " As a result, people afraid to take any action on their own.

Not knowing what is safe, but what does not, he has difficulty in the beginning of each new case. Naturally, he did not even realize that his fears - only obedient following parental directive whose meaning: "Do not do yourself, it's dangerous. Wait for me. " What should I do? Begin new things boldly, without fear of any consequences, but ... do it in front of witnesses, a team with friends, with support from different people, but not the parents ... It's time to tear the umbilical cord!

"Be yourself"

Remember, you said: "amounted to an older sister," "Strive for the ideal," "You must be Lady Perfection", "Why did Peter not afraid, and you ...?" And so on. My parents wanted to teach a child to move forward, be independent and assertive. But "we are not given to predict how our words will answer" ... Everything went wrong, as they wanted. The child was always a little doubt and envy other people. More successful, more powerful grip. That is to say, the perfect people. The outcome is clear - of inferiority and superiority in its pure form. A person with this directive is always dissatisfied.

 He always wants to be like somebody else. On a perfect athlete, the perfect parent. Of these people still say they are too critical to themselves. More than others. That is so because such a person must always exceed the other people. Even though the height requirements for themselves, if other criteria is not obtained. These people live in a state of agonizing internal conflict. They constantly prove yourself and the world that they are worth something! How to enter a person with this directive? Work on improving self-esteem and stop reaching for unattainable ideals. You know that the princess too cocoa? That's it ...