The main obstacle for freedom are our internal representation that we can, and that - no. If you listen carefully to our inner voice that says "that's bad, but it's - well," it's scary, "is that you should," "it's not you - you, as I said, find that it - voices of your parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. These views are so velis in us, their words have yet to have such a strong influence, that we're standing stock-still can not resist them. Try to remember and record all the "message" of your loved ones in the form of phrases, actions, teachings, symbols that are sent to you from relatives / family / affect adults, reflecting your roles in life and in society, in relations with the opposite sex at work, in any area. This could be the language that you like and who you follow, or something you absolutely do not accept that annoys you. Any stereotypes, beliefs (yours and others') that you remember.

Now try to paraphrase, to change, to retell these statements so that they will like. For example: "A woman can and must cope with life itself, without a man," I like that I can deal with everything myself. " Criteria for the creation of such allegations.

1.He should not contain negative particles. For example, "I shall not deal with everything myself" - wrong version.

2.He need you very much to please, respond in your soul. Right message - it is when you want to say: "Oh! Exactly! "The so-called" oh! - Experience. "

3.Oni should fully cover the meaning of what you tried to impose, that is, in a sense, once you pronounce it is a positive statement, you should have a sense of joy, pleasure, or triumph, and the old assertion immediately depreciate at all, and you feel that you have found a correct solution.

It is important that you really feel it. Try different options, keep looking. Once you pereformuliruete these messages, write in your diary, what feelings, sensations and thoughts you experienced when doing this exercise. It is important to understand that those taboos that you hear in your head, and those rules ought addressed to a young child who you were, and not you - a real adult man today. There is a profound misconception that the desire to not have to meet obstacles, and only if they are implemented. Many people say: "I would have done it if I was not afraid" or "I would have happened if I was sure of himself."

Our fears

In reality, the opposite is true. All living things fear is natural, because in nature there are no guarantees of safety. Fear - it is our indicator of self-preservation. While something unknown to us, it seems to some degree intimidating. But it is necessary to make it known - and the fear goes away. Thus, the fear is after we do what we are afraid. Fear is treated with the action. When we do something for the first time, we make the uncertain step, because we do not know, we have no experience in this and there is no certainty. But if we do this step, second, third, fourth, tenth time - our confidence grows, as the increasing ability to do these steps. Overcoming obstacles, we are improving.

The kid learns to walk, not because he is forced to parents or even for some reasons, but because he has the need arises to develop a new territory, and that her master, he overcomes obstacles, developing his muscles - he goes, and each step is all perfect. Adults do not think as they walk. Think only athletes and dancers, as they continue to improve the body. It is well known, for example, that muscles grow and develop only if the load on them increases. To overcome this burden, the muscles change. As well arranged and our psyche. To develop some skills, it is important to get down to business, you do not understand, then, to learn the skills you develop. In nature, there is no other way.

Make a list of skills that you want to learn, calling them a very simple words. For example: "I want to learn how to scream loudly," I want to learn to respond rapidly to punches my dad. " After that, consider this: how could you learn this? Overcoming any obstacles you need to learn this? For example, in order to learn how to scream out loud, you can become a football fan and try to dokrichatsya goalkeeper. And to learn how to dodge the father's fists, boxing will suit an experienced partner. Do not have time to dodge - to get a professional uppercut. It is important that the obstacles that you yourself choose to be accessible for execution. Reaching the same level, one can pose the problem bigger.

You may ask: "If I have a very unpleasant feature, unwanted way of acting, is not that I must get rid of it?" Answer: "Of course, yes!" The only question is reduced to a choice of funds that would work, and rejection of funds which only seems to be working, but really useless. Often it is this internal struggle is the reason for the fact that you can not move forward because it takes you a lot of strength. Enormous amount of energy spent on fighting with himself, not to advance in the world and overcoming the obstacles in it. What to do when you're struggling with themselves, like Golumu? One way (the exercise with an empty chair) I have quoted above.

Illusions

Another obstacle to the freedom an illusion of infinity of life, that something can be deferred "for later". However, as I said above, life is unpredictable. Right tomorrow mozhetupast brick on your head, and for the implementation of deferred will not have time. The following two exercises will help to better understand how you yourself stop on the way to finding your life everything that you need. Imagine what the rest of your life there were 5 years old. How will you spend this time? Write a list, what would you do if you only live 5 years. Would have carried out some kind of dream? Talked to with someone who did not dare before? After compiling the list, answer the question: what stops you do it now? After performing this exercise to answer the questions:

1.What means to you is this phrase that came up with your loved ones?

2.Ustraivaet Do you have this phrase?

3.Za that you yourself would like people to like you?

4.What do you do for this?

5.Chto you do not do for this?

6.Chto stops you doing it?

7.Kak you believe what you are valuable to others?

Often, this exercise revealed that people consider their merits that they simplify the lives of others. Try to find their other values. And it will be great if you find that your dignity is not benefiting anyone but you. For example, it may be some advantages:

-I'm handsome;

-I am smart;

-I successfully;

I-charming;

-I direct;

I-energetic;

I-talented, and so on.

And the last serious obstacle - it's an illusion that everything must be obtained from the first time. Should not be impossible. None of us can not get any serious results, if making only one attempt. Making a step forward, we learn how the world reacts to our actions. Due to this feedback, we focus and learn what to do next, how to build our maneuvers. Once again we are making steps and obtain feedback from the world. Thus, we need several tries to do better, more precise and more focused. Without interacting with the world we can not know how to act, there is no recipe to know this in advance. And there are no such people who may know how to act in advance, since the world is changing every minute and respond to each of us differently because of our uniqueness. There are no obstacles in nature in order to achieve success. Whatever we choose as a problem-to solve it is only necessary to learn and acquire skills.