On advice from a psychologist, tired woman of about thirty speak about their problems - poor sleep, lack of confidence, unstable mood ... Asking the patient about the vicissitudes of her personal life, the psychologist asks the question:

- You are married?

In response - a quiet "yes."

- What is your relationship with your husband?

Pause. A woman can not be resolved for a long time to say something. Finally going to the spirit and his breath says:

- Tell me if it is three years, says he loves me, why did he not marry me? ..

Absurd? Alas, no. And this conversation is not out of the common. And this patient was in his doubts are not alone. Many women, seeking help, asking the same seemingly absurd question: why is my husband to me does not marry ?

To begin, I will tell you about the strange result of a census. Its follow-up (of course, on the basis of the survey) found that married women have much more than married men. Absurd? From the standpoint of logic - yes, because these two figures must be equal. But logic sometimes does not take into account the laws of psychology, one of which in certain respects women consider themselves married, and her partner - married. Let's try to assess the situation from the viewpoint of a male partner. Why did he not marry her and still maintain it long enough relations?

The first plus long intercourse with a certain woman to a man: he has a regular sexual partner. Do not waste time on lengthy courtship doubt "yes-no" need not fear any contagion - in most cases it is assumed that the girlfriend is true, and when necessary, is the first call. But why not marry? Yes, because it is very important to feel independent. They constantly meet and regularly engaged in sex, but nevertheless in this case the man is not obliged to remain faithful to this woman: what if another case turned up! And while he is not bound by ties of marriage, he is not without a sense of their own independence (which, to be honest, much more difficult to maintain a "lawful wedlock"). That's in no hurry to the registrar, our men ...

The second plus long-term relationship for men: there is always someone to ask about the routine of home care. A rare woman, visiting "bachelor lair" Darling, do not instinctively grabs a broom and a rag. Yes, and cook too not seem to disdain. In general, wanting to feel at least for some time housewife, a woman brings in an apartment other order, and unwashed dishes and dirty laundry seems to disappear by themselves. But why not marry? Because in this scenario the main man of his "den" is still a man. His right - namusorit immediately after leaving a friend, walk in the shoes on the carpet cleaned, fill the sink with dirty dishes - the words will not tell nobody! Unless, of course, not very nasty. It can put socks on the table, and they will be there to lie at least a week. He's so convenient! A favorite will soon come again and priberetsya in the apartment.

A third plus long-term relationships for the stronger sex: do not spend too much. Woman with whom the sign and delish bed for years, not as demanding as the one which has just decided - yes or no? And her decision often depends on the price offered in a bunch ... When long-time relationship between a man something to hide, and capable of a friend's birthday to forget, and with the eighth-March not to congratulate ... And most likely will not hear of special claims, as always in the hearts of reply: "And here I am, not like me go!" And then the argument is clearly visible, "why not marry her" - a man wants to be master of the purse. Doing a friend we launched, it does not confirm the dependence on the ladies' whims, but as it encourages women to these presentations to match. After all, he presents gifts to personal choice and personal whim, rather than out of duty ...

Finally, the fourth, plus long-term relationships is that ... man in fact this woman loves. After all, men are able to not only change, spare money and litter on the carpet! And sometimes it is love from a partner due to the fact that for many years a man pays close contact with a woman. And tells her of his love ... But then all the more why not marry? I would venture to answer for the majority of men: a woman does not want. At least, she told him as she said, honestly! When they began to "live together". He told her something about the feeling of independence, and she urged with a sweet smile: do not worry, dear, live without the press, and me as well with you ... It is true that since that time a lot of water under the bridge, but unless something has changed? So why impose a favorite so aroused by the unwanted her marriage bond? ..

Why do women want to marry?

And now look at the situation through the eyes of women. Sooner or later every woman seeking to marry "really." Why do all the ladies so be sure to visit the Registry Office? Because, being married, a woman receives several "degrees of protection." First, any possible injections of public opinion: everything as expected. Indeed, until now, some women are very important to feel that they have sex with strangers is not a man, but with her own husband. And it gives them confidence and courage in bed ... Second, a financial guarantee. Even if the secured husband threatens divorce and leaving no funds to move from threats to business in the design of union is much harder than actually say to his wife: do not like it - go away, I do not owe anything to you! And third, a woman having her husband, feels protected from domestic and social turmoil.

How does the desire to bring the parties to a common denominator?

With regard to the particular couples - and there are often identified two very different value system. With the overall position of our Code on Marriage and the Family for a formal alliance, "in fact really comes out that often more profitable to sign a woman, not man. However, the difference of views on the status of marriage - not only the issue of "unregistered alliance". It is, as a rule, marriages are childless, and obstacles that hinder the emergence of the child. But send the developments in the opposite direction "almost impossible: pregnancy fraudulently and childbirth against her will" as if her husband "almost always do not lead to marriage, but to scoot partner ... With regard to public opinion, then it was back can do a good service eager to hike to the registrar for women. To date, your friend could spur a formal registration is not idle condemnation of his womanizing. Now the value of marriage increases due to the desire of many to stability. And if your partner wants to make a decent career, the official marriage is more likely: now as in former times, in large business corporations prefer to deal with married employees - as a more stable person with strong family rear.

And yet, why not marry?

At first try to understand your friend. Maybe not all of the above approaches him, but at least one reason why he will not marry you, can be understood by you. They say that there is nothing more permanent than temporary. And if as a result of their "unregistered existence" you're with your partner begin to interfere with each other, living in two dogs in the manger, you will begin to accumulate hatred and anger. Eventually the marriage will no longer make sense to register, even if you habitually continue to live together. Exception to the rule may be a situation where people have long enough living in an informal marriage, have any social or legal barriers to registration. In any case, do not be stupidly passive. Talk with your partner on this subject - so that he understood your problem. Did a lot of good that you once had, wanting to show their devotion and unobtrusive, smartly told him that "you do not want to sign? So now blame him that he was the registrar you are not calling? He also remembers that you did not want to!