What do we mean by loneliness? The more we are immersed in the work on this chapter, the more asked this question. The isolation of man from society, family, historical reality, the harmonious natural universe? However, physical isolation is not always stuck with loneliness. A person can feel more lonely in a crowd, in situations of intense and sometimes forced intercourse, rather than by himself. Solitude - a very common phenomenon in today's world. Unfortunately, it has long been neglected, but to date, theme of loneliness in the literature provided very little, and we have difficulty finding specific studies on this topic.

Loneliness - is one of many possibilities of life existence. They can be different and depends on many conditions associated with it not only difficult experience, but also of joy and pleasure. Moreover, in many cases, quite a large number of people looking for him, tired of communicating and deliberately reducing the number of contacts with others! Importantly, many periods of human life necessarily related to loneliness and feelings of loneliness that period do not depend so much on isolation, but on the relationship of man to himself. In solitude we are able to choose what to do now. Taking into account the actual need for us - leave it - we are looking at the world around us the means by which we can get rid of loneliness: to communicate with friends, make a phone call, go for a visit and so on. Or, in turn, if there is a need to stand alone and be alone with your thoughts and feelings, to understand their wishes - with no one to contact.

Loneliness often allows us to comprehend the situation, his experience and encourages, "whip" us to actively seek such interesting dialogue. It was after a period of loneliness, we begin to appreciate the above friendships or love relationships, we can say that loneliness has taught us the wisdom and love.

Understanding of any phenomenon of life - a way to calm and acceptance. It is known that we suffer from what we understand. Loneliness is always accompanied by a person's life, and it will exist, just like all other feelings, as long as there are people. There is not a single person who would not know that such solitude. Nobody was able to last and can not be completely avoided in the future, loneliness, as if he did not like. When the baby cries in his crib away from the mother - he was lonely. When the little man, and later a teenager perceives the world of adults, it seems that nobody understands, and he is lonely.

How to be alone ....

When a person becomes an adult, it appears their children who are beginning to live their lives - iontozhe sometimes feels his solitude. The man is ill and aging, increasingly feeling lonely. And before the last door in the face of inevitable death - he is lonely, ever. Often we are not alone because there are no people around us, but because we choose not to contact other people. Two reasons not to see his neodinochestva:

1.Predstavleniya person about himself distorted (probably taking privichnogo for real). It is often associated with deep traumatic experiences of the past. This also happens when people confuse who they are, with what they wanted to be. For example, a person who refuses to believe that there are people around, based on the fact that it was arranged earlier in his relationship - when the people closest to ignore it. Or, for example, when a person is actually a very even wants to be alone, but in his mind there is a belief that to be alone - badly. And he suffers from inconsistencies with this requirement, lives alone, for example, is not married, not married or do not want to have kids. In our society it is considered to be those people miserable, and that alone is taken by someone unknown generally makes life miserable man: he is torn between his desire for solitude and social rule.

2.Predstavleniya people about themselves, in principle, are adequate, but in a particular situation, a person actualizes the knowledge of himself, that this situation is not adequate. For example, he knows he's important to be with others, but in dealing with other tries to avoid intimacy, because they believe (believe some stereotypes) that want to be with others - this is a weakness. And then, calling himself strong, it does not occur in the mind the sense to other people.

Another way of being alone - stubbornly and tirelessly seek support from the most immobile supported the people. Deny it every time and every time he is looking for new ways to get support from those who do not need it. All the same unrequited love. Another way to be alone - it is to live in a big company and to be outwardly very sociable person, but does not trust anyone, never open the soul, believing that others do not. If you have learned in these descriptions yourself - it's time do something.

Reasons for loneliness

The main reason for loneliness is the inability to leave. What is a separation for most of us? This - the pain, bitterness, and sometimes - anger, anxiety for the future. If so - then your cup is always half empty. Not many people can, in parting, thank each other for all the good experiences together, to see new perspectives, not as a loss, but as a purchase. Write down a list of people whom you meet and parts every day, or at least once a week. From this list select the person with whom you can mentally talk - as much as possible, even if you basically do not interact with people emotionally. Try every time you say goodbye to this man, to follow the following algorithm:

1.Skazhite him about his impressions about the time spent together, not hiding neither positive nor negative points.

2.If you find something good, thanks for this.

3.If you are not sorry - just say it.

4.I do not forget to finish the conversation with two or three sentences that and tomorrow will also be for you something interesting (even if you spend it with other people). Practice this exercise as many times as you want to make it a habit. In his diary of observations after each farewell record, what feelings you experienced when doing this. Two months later read his very first record and try to understand what changed in that time in your experience of separation and loneliness. People who are afraid of loneliness, separation is never good: they suffer and make others suffer, as are "stifling" the interlocutors with whom it is difficult to say goodbye. So people all the time, they seem to be something not yet what they something not enough