Like a child as he or she is
Do not compare your child with other children. Any comparison suggests that in your head already drawn image of an ideal child, to whom shall seek your baby and it is unknown how this image will appear in his mind. Too high and the idealized role model will make your child even more insecure in their abilities and capabilities. It is important to explain to your child that in order to be loved and respected, not have to be perfect. Do not put it in the example of other children, in which case the child will be even harder to communicate with children. Do not bully kid that in future no one wants to be friends with him, it does not solve the problem and does not make him feel more confident. Love the child for who he is.
Teach your child to talk freely about their emotions and feelings, it is very useful to him later in life. Often, the inability to express their emotions makes people unhappy in their personal lives. You can help a variety of games. Often, adults perceive children's games as entertainment, in fact, the game - one of the available methods of child learning to communicate, self-expression, knowledge of the surrounding. In print and online can find many special collections on this topic. For example, a game-mime positively affect the development of the emotional sphere, contribute to the emancipation and overcoming psychological barriers.
Moving games to bridge gaps between the participants, increase their activity in these games is acceptable noisy behavior that can throw out the emotions. Game in which you want to call the quality of other players, raise self-esteem of children and teach them to see in people the positive side. The most important thing in the conduct of such games - the positive attitude of participants. If the child does not want to play, do not make it, maybe next time he will have a different mood, and he wants to play. In no case can not rebuke a child for the failures in the game, the effect on the game in such a case would be exactly the opposite desired effect.
Game, which also contribute to splash negative emotions - towns, bowling, darts. Create opportunities for romps, such as the street outside the city in the country. Constant monitoring of the noise behavior can trigger shyness. Do not forget that in this way the child unconsciously throws torments him stress. Let him know that in some circumstances be a loud scream and shout - visiting his grandmother in an apartment in the classroom, but, for example, on the street can be.
Explain to your child that you can not save a rage. Do not scold or punish him for what he is angry. Sometimes remove unnecessary stress and gain peace of mind to help such a simple action: to break a piece of paper into small pieces. Often shy kids can not explain their concerns or worries. You can role play with a character similar to your child. This character must be a name in tune with baby's name (but not the same). Describe the shyness of this hero, without using the adjectives "shy", "shy," "taciturn," "lonely". Use the following description: moderate, cautious, far-seeing, all carefully mulling.
Tell your child about the adventures of this hero, in what situation he found himself and both of them out, ask the child suggest that he should make protagonist, once in a given situation. Shy children are happy to talk about the feelings of fictional characters, as these feelings do not concern them directly (they believe). Such role-playing games allow you to make discoveries about the behavior of your child into the world of his emotions and experiences, and perhaps find answers to many of your questions.
Before starting such a game, a parent should consider in advance the plot, think about what the main ideas you want to convey to the child and what to get from the game. Try to keep the child became an active participant in the game, listen to his remarks. Come up with a worthy finale stories, leaving a positive attitude. Have a look at how to reflect ongoing game of life a baby, whether he made any lessons from these games.
Believe in svogo child
Do not restrict his freedom. Shy children are conservative and are afraid to violate the prohibitions of adults. The literature was described by an example: in the process of psychological experiment children were asked to draw on paper with lipstick. Shy children are categorically refused to do so, while the other kids quietly drawing. I shy kids fear punishment, and a sense of constraint, formed under the action of a permanent ban from the adults, are so strong that hamper his creativity and initiative. Of course, there are things that a child should not do: draw in books, on the wallpaper to spoil other people's things.
But should show a little flexibility and imagination - spread out on the floor of the old wallpaper, or take an ordinary piece of paper and get ink, pencil, take an old lipstick and show off with it - brushes, pencils and just your fingers, dipping them in paint and leaving footprints on the paper . These lessons develop the creative ability of the baby, relieve emotional stress, contribute to rapprochement of the child with you.
Stay close to your child. He should know: whatever happens, he can always turn to you and you will find support and comfort, you can always come to his aid. Being in the accumulation of strangers, shy child is experiencing a stress - do not scold him, do not be ashamed and do not throw one, then hold his hand up until he will not let her. You can select a group of children the right age and start a conversation with them, your baby, a little getting used to their society, he wants to talk to them. If you leave him alone, it's repeated efforts to stress and he just can not talk to anyone, at best, would go away, to stay alone. Not to undermine the credibility of the child to you.
Do not be afraid to love. Yes, all parents love their children, but children can doubt that if you do not see a confirmation. Shy kids are especially sensitive and receptive, they need constant support. Often parents, trying to educate neizbalovannogo child, tell him only about the mistakes and blunders, and the positive actions and results are left unattended. Try to feel the mood of the baby. Maybe he does not believe in your love and tormented by the thought that unworthy of it, especially if the day before he sinned and was in any way punished. Reassure the child that for you it is valuable in itself, despite the school evaluation, speech defects, shyness, etc., that you love him, not for anything, but simply because, with all the advantages and disadvantages.
Like a child, not only for something, but just for no reason, like a child the way he is. Learn it in children. Often parents are strict, unfair, even harsh, and yet the children forgive them all and continue to love. Even abandoned children believe that their parents love them and come after them, because parental love for them is vital. You can at any moment to hug, caress, kiss your child, if it gives him pleasure. Otherwise, you can put a hand on his shoulder and say something nice. Bodily contact with a parent is very important for kids. Often shy children are in need of affection, but do not dare ask about it or think they do not deserve it.
