Life crisis in men
"A gray head - a lusty"
From time to time, all people experience, not only depression but also crises. The most serious and prolonged crisis in the lives of men - the so-called "midlife crisis", which occurs in the age period from 40-42 to 48-50 years. In those years, most men begin to feel the decline of vital energy ("In the past could not sleep all night and nothing happened, and now two hours nedosplyu - broken all day") and bring the first results of life ("What had that did not have time and never have time ").
The doctor and therapist D. Dobson calls the four "enemies" in the lives of middle-aged men: his own body, work, family and fate.
So, the first "enemy" - an aging body: "the guy who just a few years ago called Joe, is now beginning to pass. He falls out the hair, despite feverish efforts to preserve and protect each strand of the rest." I have a bald spot!? "- He shudders. then notices that he has no former endurance and stamina, which he once boasted. He starts choking, up the stairs. Gradually, his face coming off an expression of confidence, and the front of the mirror is depressed, affected by all the discoveries and not believing his eyes, Joe. "
The second "enemy" - the work : "Dissatisfaction in their professional affairs reaches maximum strength in men is usually in middle age. Awareness of brevity of its existence, makes a person think about how to not miss a single day in the remaining years of life. However, most men have little opportunity for choice. The financial needs of the family require them to continue the effort to a previously chosen field, because children should learn in college, you must pay for the house, in general, do everything to life, are accustomed to the family could continue. A man sometimes becomes more difficult. "
The third "enemy" - the family: the turbulent years of self-doubt and digging out their problems can cause havoc in family life. Such a man may become angry, depressed or scalps. All of these features can turn against those closest to him. He begins to resent even the fact that his wife and children in need. how hard he worked, they require more money than he can earn, and this leads him to a severe irritation ... And the man once again beginning to embrace the desire to get rid of everything " .
The fourth "enemy" - Destiny: "With the help of a rather strange logic manipulation of the man starts to blame for the fate of all their miseries, getting an attitude of anger and rebellion."
Both Russian men struggling with a crisis and what actions they commit? The main "medical" means necessary to man in this period - it's emotional or physical shaking, stirring vitality. Achieve domestic recovery, which is energetically fed a man during his youth, can be a variety of ways, and each chooses his own path.
Which path is most often choose our Russian men, known to me and the reader. So, this may be a series of love affairs with young or very young women. It is no secret that a new love and the associated new sensations and experiences are exciting, enhancing vitality and helping some rejuvenating effect.
Quite often, unfortunately, such an aphrodisiac serves alcohol, which at first really brings relief from the tribulations.
Many of the successful middle-aged men with their heads "go to work, striving as high as possible to climb the career" ladder "and become truly a workaholic.
There are cases and unexpected "departure" - transfer of cases to the trustee and the departure from the city (to the cottage, country house, floriculture, cultivation of domestic or exotic animals).
In all these cases, seen the desperate desire of men "get away from himself, forget, hide from the problems of physical, emotional and spiritual order. In addition, during this period a man harms themselves and others. Novels with young girls - is the destruction of his own family, in which his wife, middle-aged woman, and children growing up. Alcohol is initially brings relief, then comes the addiction and an even greater intensification of depressive emotions. In Russia there is nothing worse than alcoholism: a lost job, family devastation. But the strange and "care" or "run away" in the forest-field - is also injured, most of all - family.
But excuse me, why the crisis need to worry about how devastating the life span? Why in the years to degrade their own lives and the lives of their loved ones? Why do I need to count their years of pain, depressed and suffer, causing significant worry for the people themselves? The crisis can be experienced quite differently: calmly and constructively to improve their lives and the lives of their environment!
What you need to do?
First and foremost : calmly and with dignity to their age and associated physical, emotional and spiritual changes. In fact, midlife can be the most flourishing, valuable and productive period in human life: accumulated experience and knowledge, is the energy and activity. The man knows what he wants from life, and understands their aspirations.
Defined and well established personal life, grown up and stronger kids. On Sundays at the dining table sits a large family, the center of which consists of his wife and the man here - Senior Center.
Second : tune in to a constructive accommodation crisis its life span without compromising and destroying their lives, but on the contrary, improving it and rising to a new, qualitatively higher level.
Third : to rebuild their lives and develop a "program of the successful accommodation crisis." As we mentioned above, men need physical and emotional jolt. This can be achieved "civilized way": there are classes that are associated with strong activation energy. So, my observations indicate that a great therapeutic effect on the active men have a repair or exchange an apartment, a change of scenery in the house, building a new suburban homes, buying cars, etc. Improve the internal state and bring positive emotions various hobbies (collecting, doing something with their hands, etc.).
Fourth : middle-aged men to take care of your physical condition. It is also noticed that the most severely distressed men plump, loose, who forgot himself so, when the body was obedient, and muscles - strong and resilient. And this we can remember: a pool, playground sports, hunting, fishing, etc. Many men who have returned to the sport, was surprised to notice how quickly the body gets flexibility and mobility, but from the heavy emotions no trace remains.
Fifth : it is necessary to organize their lives to it was a place of joy, some kind of pleasure, positive emotions. And to ensure that it was time to do it. Fine, if you have a favorite work, in which a person experiences the ups of emotional states: creativity, the resolution of deadlock problems, finding original and fresh solutions.
