The first impression of a man composed by his manner of speaking, facial expressions, gestures, body movements. But in order to come closer to man, meet, develop long-term relationship, you need to start communicating. Not all people through their life experience, love to talk, but no language can not learn something new, interesting, share experiences, and just ease the soul and get support! As a rule, the impression of a man is fixed in that and as he says. You've probably met people at first sight very attractive, but it's worth it to open his mouth, the first impression immediately disappears.

At acquaintance we pay attention to how we understand each other, that is, speak different languages or thoughts simultaneously, the different or similar in our values and beliefs, life experiences, what interesting things we can learn from the interlocutor, what information we can share ourselves with them . Our attraction is immediate, not delayed by attention and interest, if we do not know how to express themselves, find a topic of conversation, maintain conversation, understand and be understood. As too closed and too talkative people can lead to feelings of resentment, irritation, which may turn into a desire to avoid encounters with them. Without effective communication between people not be able to build harmonious relationships, success, life-filled and interesting life. Why?

The world consists of interconnected systems - organisms. Each of them is equipped with the nervous system - the means of communication between different bodies. This system is vital, it is an organism without it can not exist. Any couple, family, group, organization, society, country and so on are the same organisms, but on a larger scale. Communication in the broadest sense - is the exchange of information between individuals through a common system of symbols - a speech and nonverbal (physical) symptoms. Verbal communication - through words, nonverbal - through facial expressions, gestures, body movements, tone of voice.

If you are shy person, then you will probably be difficult to express themselves, their personality, so many of you will remain a mystery to others. Surrounding can not know that you care about what you think, what need is what suits you or not suitable if you are not reported, and, accordingly, will build a relationship with you based on the information you give about yourself . Many people say: "But it's obviously all been accepted and recognized as one can not understand?" We would like to see those people who found your set of life and relationships, took them and told the world: "This is true for all" . You know these people? We - no. Each of us has its installations, often - unconsciously for granted, and they can be very different from setting your interlocutors.

Feelings

Every day we experience different emotions: joy, anger, anger, sadness, fear, guilt. If you're alive, then tell others about their feelings, expressing frustration, anger or joy, joy, delight. But if, for various reasons you do not manifest themselves, then come around with you as they see fit, rather than the way you want, because you tell them anything about yourself do not tell. Unspoken feelings are unconscious repression, and hence - depression, illness and misfortune. It is from the word "pressure suppression" comes the word "depression": "desire to escape from the press."

How to communicate about yourself so that others do what you want to get from them? Learn to properly express my feelings! " Guilt is a major constraint to ensure that people understand each other. In our society it is assumed that people are responsible (liable) for the emotional distress of others. This is a great fallacy. We can not be held responsible for what other people feel, because they themselves are the authors of their feelings, not ours. We can take action - and we are responsible for them, but for what kind of reaction it will cause in others, we can not answer, because every human response may be different from others. And then, what kind of a reaction depends on who feels, rather than on who caused this reaction.

For example, if a man pinches a woman in the ass, a woman will experience a protest, the other - the joy, the third - the excitation of the fourth - the fear and so on. Each of them perceives the world differently, this is due to her personal history and outlook. Therefore man is not responsible for how the woman responds, he is responsible only for their own actions and for what he calls some reaction. However, further, when a woman will respond to it will determine what will he do in response. And he's responsible for what he does next with this communication. This is the difference between guilt and responsibility.

If a man pinched for ass woman who is indignant, is absolutely normal for him to be attributed to its reaction to both natural and not surprising that you see, she was not overjoyed. It is expressed in this responsibility. As for us in society, the following behaviors.

1.Muzhchina pinched woman, she thinks: "I am guilty of this and frightened.

2.In the same situation, she thinks: "Nerd, violated my boundaries," and indignant. He thinks: "She's a fool, I'm not guilty."

3.In the same situation, she thinks: "Nerd, violated my boundaries," and indignant. He thinks: "I'm a nerd, I'm guilty."

In all these situations, there is one common phenomenon: both do not respect themselves and others. When you feel that you are guilty of what feels different, you do not respect themselves. When you think that another fault is it that you feel you are betraying their own capacity: the ability to respond and defend their rights. Scenario, where each person admits responsibility for their actions and not "ship" responsibility for others' actions and feelings, is as follows:

A man pinches a woman in the ass, she says: - Shocking! Do not touch me!

-Excuse me, ma'am, I was wrong.

Each of these people realize that he is responsible for his actions and is able to stand up for themselves and respect for others: do not insult, do not blame, does not force to assume full responsibility and recognizes its own zone. You can extend this example to any conflict in any relationship. Thus, it is important to recognize that wine - non-constructive sense. If you acknowledge it, then when you are bringing your feelings to another, you will have no fear that you reject or pre-mature, since you are able to stand up for himself. You will not have a sense of guilt when the other person will show you their feelings. Expressing feelings is a formula of three components:

1.chuvstvo,

2.What is his actions or words of another person,

3.zhelaemy way out.

For example: "I feel ... in connection with that ... and I want to ..."

If relationships are built that way, then familiarity with another person and his internal world is built not on guesses, such as "I'm offended, and he will understand ..." "I'll teach him, and he no longer dares to offend me ..." and on a clear presentation of yourself to another person.