During the first phase of the relationship of living together often be observed disagreement on many issues arising from the difference between the characters. Connection of two "halves" - people will give the internal tension of the nerves. Tension, if not removed, will grow into a conflict. The fact that two of the average person, joining a union under the influence of passion, love, or love, immediately enter into the initial conflict. The literature on the sociology offers the term " grinding character . " Very consonant. Get used two halves of banknotes in order to avoid stresses in the contacts. "Get used" two vital positions in order to avoid tensions. In the first case - in physical contact, in the second case - the psychological contacts, household contacts and personal contacts.

You can resolve conflicts using, for example, the method of Ron Jenson, his "12-steps." Or other recommendations, designed for family life and not only. True, the literature on conflict is so abstruse that it is unknown - for whom she wrote. Here is how to pre-empt conflict? "Forewarned is forearmed" - a place suited to this saying. If two people know that the conclusion Union immediately puts them in a state of conflict, between passion, love, or love, this couple wants to pre-empt conflict itself by some action. Right now, it was under the influence of gripping passion, love, or love. When a state wishes of happiness themselves and each other, the candidates to the union will do actions to ensure the happiness in the near future. If they are warned.

But first we must reduce the likelihood of conflict. More precisely - to remove the provocation of the conflict. Provocation of the conflict lies in the dissimilarity of the characters in the difference with respect to some detail, in the dissimilarity of habits, in contrast to the life principle. For this we need to change themselves, it is helpful to learn. We must prepare for life together, but do not start it unprepared. And the state of passion, love, or love is the best incentive for training.

Later may be too late. Then be sure to start conflicts that half of newly created pairs can no longer survive (sorry - statistics). Lapping need to start doing more to an alliance. And the time to do it in a year and a half years of chemical reactions, where there is passion, when ringing in my head "I want to ..." Otherwise, it may be a strange state - I love and sad. From this upset yourself from disappointment make the situation worse - and it all takes place against a background of love ...

Is it possible at all: love and hate? Love and grief at the same time to deliver means that he (or she) who supposedly loves, but delivers disappointment, has not changed in any way. Not able to make concessions. A failure to make concessions means (and now all over again!) Unwillingness to self-correction, non-repudiation of certain habits or principles. Means failure to a small sacrifice for the sake of another person. Means the absence of love.

After all, since love is the ability to live for another, but to live for another can only be correcting a recurrence of conflicts, some of their habits and principles, the state of "love and hate" means only one conclusion: in this case, love is not there. If you are your habits and thought correct, if the soul does not suddenly into a call to sacrifice, then it is not love you. At the same time and love, and hate is not possible.

First, consider: is there a desire to live for another? Is there any desire to change yourself? Is there a desire (which is - a wish) to forgo some of their habits and principles for the sake of harmony relationships? Is there a desire to give?! Do yourself! And is there such a your partner? And there is another very important aspect. Should not be given if he or she want. And if you ask. Give time. Give, when required. Do not give yourself - a gift to some extent similar to the charity. But the time to respond to the request and "patch" tear in the relationship part of herself, part of his ego.

Here is a victim and a general examination on the fact of love in a relationship, an examination on the ability to love.

But if there is no such desires, if there is no such abilities, the upcoming marriage based on love. Or on the passion. And the period of living together will be calculated at six months, year and a half or four and a half years. This is the statistics of divorce.

 If there is no love, but "want", you have to know the probability of events. We must be prepared to ensure that the passions cool down after six months. Be prepared for it. A "forewarned is forearmed." And joint problem solving, and sharing their permission to cultivate a sense of respect for each other. Feeling of respect with addiction are more likely may turn into a desire to remove a unnecessary and harmful habits and principles. A desire to change for the sake of a man (whom you respect), and there is love. "Forewarned is forearmed." Knowing the background of the senses and starting to live in a marriage contract, if you wish, you can nurture each other love. The one true love, about which so many poets have written. That such benefits.