Language of Love
Let's start with the differences between men and women. Do you know, for example, that the meaning of words for women are not particularly important. It relies on the tone when it is necessary to convey the meaning and the facial expressions and gestures when expressing emotions. Men, on the contrary, very worried about the meaning of words. They tend to desire for a particular purpose, whether it be conversation or business. Some people feel comfortable when they know in advance what is expected of them and how much time is needed.
In order to efficiently communicate with her husband, offers the conversation should be in the form of a short agenda that includes specific items. We add to this that men are simply afraid and do not like non-objective abstract conversations, especially with women. Especially on the topic of feelings, money, relationships and children. It is easier when the words are more specific, and there are draft decisions. Women are often too abstract to offer men topic of conversation, like "let's talk about us", "you do not want me to say anything?", Etc.
Try to take into account the psychology of men and learn to express their desires, feelings exactly, something like: "Did you not find 20 minutes to listen to me, I need your support." Do not use in conversation with a man hints, just tell what you want, and you'll have a chance to make at least what you hear. Just do not like men to lengthy explanations, the scheme is preferable to "question - the silent reflection - a solution." So do men. Nobody said it was - the right way, but if you are dealing with an individual male and want him to participate in a conversation, not angry at you for wasted time, then stick to it.
" The language of love is international, "- this catch phrases, like a catchy slogan from the infomercial, you know probably all. But it is difficult to follow. And many presumptuous of the human race have failed in their attempts to understand the second half. And all because in reality, the language of love for each individual. But there is a general preference, which can be divided into 5 groups, and try to identify the closest to you and the partner language. In general, the term "Language of Love" is quite conventional. It just means those actions or moral qualities, which we have dreams of a partner. This is exactly what our life is not enough, and without which existence is bleak and dismal.
Thus, most of us expect from the partner of one of the five things most.
● Words to encourage
● Touch
● Gifts
● Help
● Time
With regard to encouraging words, they need everything. Praise - it is not flattery to get what you want, and the proof of love. For men will praise his recognition of those qualities which he values in himself the most. Determine the same, the language they speak your spouse, you need to. Otherwise, you will not fill his soul with love. But first, let's make sure that the native language of love you know. Sometimes a person has enough to hear just the name of love languages, and he immediately understood the language he speaks and in what his partner. Others feel it is more complicated.
Often there is confusion. Due to the fact that the male sex drive occurs frequently and intensively, it might mistakenly decide that touch - his native language of love. But if the touching without sex you do not need, so this is not your language. What language do you say, and what you want? If you can not go to answer these questions, go to the contrary. Think about what offends you most? If the lack of help at home by a spouse, your mother tongue - help. You can try to find the answer to the question in another way. Think about what you most often asked her husband. Most likely, this is an expression of your native language.
A corollary is the assumption that what the husband asks you - it's his language. There is another way to define your own language. Think, as you usually show love. It may well be that the same response you expect, and from the spouse. If you are trying to come together more often, perhaps, your language - time. If the gifts mean to you lot, most likely you are often giving a spouse knacks. "As I myself express love?" - The answer to this question will tell the most important thing. And that offers you more often than a spouse?
But remember that this method does not yield accurate results. And if a man gives his wife gifts, it may be, it is not his native language. Just as a child he watched his father and the firm learned that women need to give gifts. It may be that you are equally fluent in two languages. Hence, they are both for you home. And either partner can choose the language that is closer to him. Usually, when determining the language of love, complications arise from two types of people. Firstly, those who are literally bathed in love. And if his adoration for you my husband is in various ways, you are not sure what is more important. You just feel that he loves you.
And secondly, those who lived too long without love. They no longer remember how wonderful it is - to be loved. In this and in another case, try to think back to those days when you loved. Remember: What attracted you to your companion and that it was attracted to this man? So you get a rough idea of their mother tongue. Or imagine an ideal husband. His image will help you better understand yourself. And, moreover, make a list. There are five love languages in order of their need for you. Only here what to do if the native language of the spouse seems to you strange and almost completely unacceptable?
The universal language of praise
You can try as a universal language of praise. Why? Our life is full of metamorphoses, as gradual and instantaneous. And yesterday was a modest Cinderella - the bride after the wedding abruptly turns into a tamer, furiously snapping a whip. Male "in the cage" of marriage - in her opinion, it is a suitable object for training. But, sensing the makings of a great teacher, we often forget one thing: to live together must be present not only stick, but carrots. But it is something just not enough.
But for a happy family life should be so little! Only to smile, not to curse a failed life and try to look attractive, including a husband. And most importantly - do not forget to mention his often best. That is praise. After all, only at first glance it seems that this severe male representatives can not stand "syusyukany. In fact, almost every man - is essentially an exotic flower. Without the incentive in the form of praise, as without a good watering, it clearly will live long. At least with you.
And may you also hear from him praise only on major holidays. Perhaps he simply underestimates the value of compliments in family life. And you can endlessly remember what words he spoke during courtship and as a tender. Romantic meetings bears little resemblance to the family routine, and perhaps he is simply unable to crack up you too often. But if you start first, then we can wonder how this "iceberg" to become a gentle and affectionate man of your dreams. For which you are, incidentally, got married.
Is it really no reason to praise him? So just do not happen. Maybe you are just too lazy to think and strain? After scold always have something, but to praise ... praise - is an art. And those who possessed them, winning in most situations. But any praise is good at the right time and right place. And best of all a large gathering of those who hear it. Or, conversely, in a circle of close friends. But the public praise - it's heavy weapons, which for Tampering is dangerous for those who enjoy it. And in this case, a guide to action should be the following principle: do not know how - not try.
In general, for those who are not tempted and did not quite understand what happens if the reactions are unexpected husband for you - there is only one way. Or rather two - Love and observant. You can even go so far as to write, on what and how it reacts to your half. People, especially men, are opened more slowly than women. Over time, you will learn why some words are on it like a red rag, but others - like the news about winning the lottery. If by that time you both will talk about.
