Seen in children of anger and violence is always very disturbing and unpleasant. We think, will not grow there are those adults who go on the offense, not paying attention to the pain and suffering of others. The children, who often exhibit anger and violence can do so because they feel insecure, unloved. Or too often see examples of such behavior around him.

Empathize with your child, let him understand that he is a good, decent man of love, but some of his actions you do not approve. Acknowledge the anger, rage, the child acceptable feelings, but show other ways to express them: "I know that you were angry. This is a normal human feeling. If you do not like what makes this boy (girl), you tell me about this word or choose to play with someone else, "I understand that you do not like spiders. I also do not like them, and even fear, but you can not kill them, better step aside, let the rather run away to their dear children. "

If a child goes wrong, get involved every time you see cruelty, and force the child to fully understand what results led to his behavior: "When you're kicked Andrew out of the game, he was very offended, he was hurt by injustice." Understand that a child who exhibits cruelty, trying to "raise" themselves at the expense of what offends others. Help this child to see a good, does not depend on comparisons with others: "Everyone is very important. That way you know how to draw and so fond of doing this is that all children be happy to ask you to help. " Do not skimp on the affection, the child will show good feelings towards others. Help other children with respect to which the brutality and violence, stand up for herself: "I'll be playing with those with whom I want", "No one can hurt me."

If the child is stubborn

The reasons for this behavior is not always a personal feature of the child. Most often a reaction to the unreasonable demands of adults, too regulating ing which deprives the child initiative and independence. Think before you take "responsible action". What it means to be obstinate? Analyze examples of stubbornness. Ask other family members, caregivers, as a child responds to their requests and suggestions.

If the whole thing in your actions - start with yourself. Reassess your own requirements to obey the child. Identify him enough space to display independence and initiative. Change your vocabulary. Exclude words, emphasizing the negative aspects of actions of the child: "Again you're stubborn," "do me luck", etc. In contrast, use words that emphasize the effectiveness of the initiatives of the child: "You decided to wear boots myself, and you all get" that characterize his best side and achievements: "I'm so glad that you did not forget to put the brush in place," "I I admire thy toys - there is such an order. " Who does not want to repeat and repeat their good actions, if my mother sees them and so nice to comment?

Try to understand, that does not love a child and as painless for the child and your parental authority it can be replaced. For example, a child flatly refuses to swim in the bathtub. Is it possible to replace the bath to wash in the shower? Or ask what might make a nice tub bath? Do not try to pereupryamit stubborn. You can surrender faster, and then he and another time will find out how to apply their power over you. The reasons for this behavior is not always a personal feature of the child. Most often a reaction to the unreasonable demands of adults, too regulated, deprives a child initiative and independence.

Child-sneak

This phenomenon usually occurs as an attempt to attract attention. Children often snitch because they think they can raise their "I" by providing the other children in a bad light. In this case, the parents or carers are in an ambiguous situation: on the one hand, we can not pay attention to what the child says, but on the other hand, attention from adults, can motivate a little sneak repeat their actions again and again. As often as possible, pay careful attention to your child, tell him of his good traits.

 Offer to tell something good about their buddies. If rebenogk goes bad , snitch, try to pay "sneak" a minimum of attention, but break off it and do not report, because, nedoslushav child, you will never understand what motivates them - a desire to "squeal "or a desire to share important information. Tell your child that he talked about the act, which is now telling you, with a child who has committed, but not with you. Ask your child, but as he himself admitted in a similar situation. Praise your child when he is not yabednichaya, talking to you: "I am very pleased to talk to you when you do not snitch."