This is the most difficult question of upbringing. Since religion has always counted sex to sin, it is traditionally silenced in the family, confused children, and parents. Of all the mysteries that we carefully hide from our children, this was the most sacred and inviolable. Previously thought as follows: if to raise a child in humility, he grows up and he tackles issues of sexuality and a dedicated entirely proper place. In fact it was worse. So when the girls in the 12-13 age menstruation begins, about what they do not even have time to tell a friend, they experienced a shock that is comparable with the fear of violence or death. But even then, confused mother, no longer clear on what that trust, curves and tsedili something like: "All the girls it happens." Immediately clear that this is something that is not only unpleasant, but also filthy, abnormal and unnatural. And most importantly, no one will help!

Stages of psychosexual development of the child

Let's see how to tell a child about sex and even at some point, you can talk to him about it?

0-2 years. "Asexual" period: children dress differently from birth to them at birth are treated like boys or girls, but the children still do not understand who is who. At this time, parents learn stereotypical attitudes to sex of the child. These parental stereotypes will later influence his behavior. For the boys decided to treat more harshly: "Let grow a real man!", And the girls with more tenderness, more of them caress and cuddle. They often admired.

3-4 years. Period of narcissism. At this time, children have an interest in his genitals, play them, especially boys. Since self-consciousness in this age is just being formed, we do not remember these games. Children continue to experience the world holistically, they can not separate any of their feelings nor their images from the world of other people. They think that everyone - as they did.

5-12 years. "Monk's" period. Children are grouped by gender, without going outside of their "religious orders". True, the boys pulled the girls in pigtails. Girls fall in love "forever" and is already thinking about how to get married, but for someone special. And everyone is trying to understand: "Well there it was - to be born a boy or a girl?" In their hearts they hoped that they were lucky. Gender differences are seen "in its favor, a proof which leaves a lot of strength. The first game between the sexes are conditionally group, since children perceive the world and other people through the prism of common sexually (group) membership. And then, in adolescence, followed by individual attitude to themselves and to the representatives of the opposite sex. So, talk about gender differences can have a child 4-5 years.

Myths about the origin of children

By this time a tremendous help to parents already had a fairy tale read to children at night. Some of them have the formula: "they were married, and they had children." Hypothesis may be supported by "the origin of nowhere." Same Carlson flew from the roof, but where he had lived? And how old is he? Because children under 7 years old still hard to establish a causal relationship, they are asking the question "Where do babies come from?", Least of all expect you to start from afar, will acquaint them with the basic physiology of men and women, to explain the mechanism of copulation, the phase of aging fetal stages of the birth and development of the baby.

In 4-5 years, baby, of course, interested in the differences between boys from the girls and they already have their own observation, but they are more interested in "visible difference". "The boys have a penis. Girls - Snatch. After all, people drink and write. " This is for scientist. You can also use the simpler notation. "The boys - tubules, the girls - holes." This is closer to the perception of children. Only with time, by the age of 12, you need not give partial information, and form a complete, true scientific understanding of some physiological acts, including sex.

Psychologists, child development, set the age at which the main differences between boys and girls become apparent even to toddlers. It's three years! Children notice that boys and girls, first, different dress, and secondly, in many ways go to the toilet. And this is a very good time to explain that boys "are tube, and the girls" have hole ", but in general" mechanism "works the same way. But note: "The distribution of holes and ducts was an accident - someone that has got to. But then it was seen that those who tube, those stronger, taller, eat more, love to play with cars, more running and more fighting. And those who have holes, often pressed to their mothers, like spinning in front of a mirror, singing and dancing. "

Do not forget to add: "People in general are very different. They have different eyes, different eyes! Vaughn, see Stepan plump, and Sasha is so small. But they grow up and be different "- says literate mother. The question "Where do babies come from?" Child asks in 5-7 years. The occasion may serve as a birth brother or sister, or observing other kids. Finally, the children interested in the question of their own origin. Because if Mom and Dad were young and then grew up and married, then what happened after the wedding?

Cabbage and storks - a folk version of the origin of the child "out of nowhere." They correspond to the concrete-thinking, imaginative child 3-4 years. In 6 years of cabbage and storks children are laughing. But the complicated process of fertilization, they also do not understand. Here is one of the most common variants explain the physiological process: "My mother drank a pill and then her tummy has grown." To the question "How degenerated child?" Answer is usually: "Through the navel." And children are still puzzled about how little of the umbilicus can "degenerate into" a kid? Need to reassure him: "Do not worry. People have come up with much that helps deliver babies. Because for people of the children is very important. "

It's better than otmazyvatsya: "When you grow up - you know all about" Sometimes insulting to know that you're still too young to treat you seriously. Besides the lack of information increases the anxiety of children. The best and correct answer to the question "Where do babies come from" - "Children born out of love." "Dad and Mom fell in love. They are so strongly pressed and embraced that, in the end, mom wanted "to have one more of the same father!". "You're going to work, and I'm starting to really miss you. I also need someone to hug and kiss at this time? "- My mother said. A dad is very happy this: "Just let it be a girl! I want to wear more often you hold and cuddle! "Dad wanted, that was another little mother, which they initially called to her daughter. And so is Anya. Or Sonya. Here's a family legend.

There are many other situations that may provoke the question "Where do babies come from?" For example, the "love" animals at the zoo, zhabok on the lawn, dogs in the yard. It's time to quietly and calmly explained what was happening. "Dogs love each other. They may get a little puppy. See how they try? To get a puppy, it is necessary that the seeds inside the mom-dog greeted seeds daddy-dog. For this dad pushes them into the mother. How to shovel sand into vederochko. There they will meet and start to grow. And get a nice little puppy. And maybe even a lot of puppies! "Agree that explain about the dogs is easier than to myself?

"And who decides to be a boy or a girl?" - A question which is quite easy to answer: "We need to take a coin and toss up. Tails - a girl, the eagle - the guy! "So you open your child this law of nature: the child's sex is determined randomly. Please learn how to cope with their embarrassment and talk with their children seriously and carefully! If you are, of course, you know that children do not descend by parachute and did not spring from accidentally flown to the land of insects. Last year in Germany to receive specialist came to a couple. They decided to consult a doctor about the fact that they somehow have no children. Inspection showed that they are absolutely healthy. On the same question about sexual life, they asked in bewilderment: "What's that?"