We both want our boys and girls were obedient and complaisant so touched by on their neatness and politeness with neighbors and even strangers ... It is an ability to please others can play a cruel joke with the child when he was confronted with a dangerous stranger on the street. And then, in adulthood, reliability will be perceived as spineless and infirmity. Debut of child alcoholism, drug addiction, prostitution, violence may take place due to the inability to say no to an adult or adolescent provocateur with criminal intent.

Recent studies show that an average of alcoholism in boys begins at age 10 in girls - at 10.5 years. Victims of physical violence are children from 7 years old, and sexual exploitation - with 5. Mass of "No Drugs", "No to Alcoholism!" Designed for young drug users experienced significantly late in time. Skill failure, the ability to say "no" today, when there are so many temptations, I think is important. And the shape it should be at preschool age.

All well-known fairy tales, horror stories just about how characters are not psychologically able to confront the villains and enemies, which we all know, is physically much stronger. Seven kids have forgotten about preventing mother and let the wolf. Three pigs for a long time trying to cope with the same predator. Little Red Riding Hood heads to share secrets and plans, with the wolf in the forest. As she was released into the forest alone? And then another, and wonder where the kids go? But, anyway, children, like all of us who ever fall into the clutches of swindlers and scoundrels, paying for his naivety and openness.

How to teach your child to say "no" to a stranger? " Children should be formed taboo: to strangers on the street do not speak and did not even say hello. Silently away, run away, hide or call for help if a stranger insists on talking. Adults should not stop in the street children to ask them how long, how to get to the library or whether he knew Mr. Vaska? Is salvation a mobile phone, which we present to children? In general, yes. But I was horrified watching our children on the streets, which, when he crosses paths with an alarming report to their mother. I recall the stories from the lives of some prima ballerina, who even went on dates with his mother. Indeed, what of it? "Do we have something to hide from my mom?"

Children who are kept on a leash, grow up with a complex dependence. And their mothers, at least some of them sit down on the energy of children, their little boys and girls. And with age, not desired is anyone beginning to demand that children "deserved" the eternal mother's position of attention and care. I do not propose to ban housewives and people with the syndrome of chronic anxiety, communication with children, but limits must be set.

Need to call-back to the child himself when he gets out of school to say what his plans are and with whom he is sent home. If you feel that the day must pass as usual, and do not need to pull a child and something required of him. For self-preservation is very important as to apply the instinctive savvy, quickness and ability to assess the situation on the ground. Have to rely on children. More precisely: to believe in them. And for that, oddly enough - to believe in yourself. Children often only adopt our helplessness and self-doubt.

Strangers abduct children directly from schools and kindergartens. They are presented to teachers as tutors or friends or neighbors, and the child throw something like: "Get ready, my father is waiting for you!" The magic of self-confident person. In the Novgorod region maniac girls led away from the gate of the school. He was led away to the side, asking for help with the animals: "I left on parole parrot, and he eats only out of the hands of young girls. His landlady about your peers. Will you help? "The girls went into the woods.

Sometimes we turn a deaf ear to alert the reaction of our children. The boy, a victim of another maniac mother complained that he was in the morning who's watching from behind the bushes. "Show!" - Waved mom. That the child could say: "No, I will not do" - you need to promote this capability and train her. Encourage her to because she is - a sign of maturity and responsibility. An adult would never say: "I'll buy you a million pounds of candy and a locomotive cakes!" Of course, if Carlson is not whether or not Peter Pan.

Adult says: "I can not until you buy this toy. But maybe we'll buy her a month later, when I will pay. " Examples of adults 'no' darkness. In truth, this is what we adults frustrates their children. Please note children in computer games. At every crucial moment of the characters make responsible choices: "yes" or "no." The probability of the answer "no" to no less than likely "yes." Hearing "no" from their children, remember the following. I think our mistake often is that we are afraid to grow not only disobedient, but stubborn kids who will fight and refuse to do basic things: brushing your teeth, tie shoes, to say 'thank you' at the table, etc.

In fact, the ability to resist external demands and provocations - it is a sign of maturity, independence of the child, is a sign of the formation of his personality. "No!" Can be heard in response to the offer of cake, compote, a new blouse or even a trip to the circus. The first "no" requires the child's courage. This is a sign of growing up and demands for greater freedom for themselves. Of course, the first "no" usually scares parents, but any psychologist would have congratulated them so that their offspring run defense mechanisms. Child for the first time he outlines the borders of the "I"! It is hard to imagine that a child who never says "no" in dealing with relatives, say "no" to a stranger. It is necessary not only to respect the "no" to her child, but also to listen carefully to his arguments. Do not forget to ask: "Why not?". Then you can assess whether his altercation motivated and intelligent.

There is a special type of psychological constitution, under which "no" sounds more often than "yes." It is very hard to communicate people, obstinate, intractable, monotone, in addition to everything, they are often completely absent sense of scream. But such people, there is one absolute advantage: because of its tolstokozhesti, they are absolutely protected. And they are protected precisely because of its "no!"