The fact that the initiators of nearly all "serious" conversations in the home are women. More often obtained a sort of chess, where white to move and lose, not even moving a single figure. All attempts to call a man on an important conversation (even if it is important not only for women but also for the men) end in failure. He tries at all costs to this fascinating lessons to escape. Stick in the newspaper or a book, grabs the TV remote, begins to make phone calls, runs to the store (for cigarettes), muttered something unintelligible, and falling asleep ... And then suddenly starts yelling that he was tired of all this. In short, it behaves poorly. It would seem, well, ask you to talk - talk! This is not a bag roll. It turns out bags ...

In every conversation is important to us his results, and not a process of opening his mouth. The sounds of his own voice - a thing, of course, charming. But only if we know what we are talking, imagine the purpose of discussion, the framework within which this conversation should proceed. Talk about anything we can not. Men are result-oriented. In any case. From career to sex. Concrete results and we look forward to every conversation, which for us is just sharing information, rather than an enjoyable pastime. For the men talk - all the same that work for women - it is rather a holiday.

Imagine that you are offered work. It does not say specifically what you need to do, how much pay for it, what day and what it is at all necessary. Interested in you? Hardly. Likewise, we can not be interested in the upcoming talk, when all we hear about him is this:

• Honey, we need to talk seriously.

• I want to talk about our relationship.

• Talk to me, I'm bored.

• We have not talked to you.

• How are you?

And for that I must set aside all their affairs? Yeah. Such attempts lead to a conversation a man - a waste of time and effort. We have them either do not hear or did not believe a sufficient reason for joining the dialogue, or simply frightened - do not know because, as discussed, may be about romance on the side. What are the most head in the noose stick ... But most angered these sleek formulirovochki. "How are you?" - "Normal". "What's new?" - "Nothing." "I want to talk to you seriously" .- "Speak, if you do nothing else ..." And so on and so forth.

You give us a clear target. We need to know what specifically will talk. "I'm bored" - it's not a landmark. But "I want to discuss with you a movie that we saw last week" - it is something concrete. Essentially nothing has changed - you want as to kill time and have a chat. But the first formulation does not leave you no chance. But the second brings hope for success. Or: "I want to talk about our relationship." "Wow! What we do something wrong? What is it? Maybe I'm guilty of something? And now, again, morality and blame? I will not! "- Like this man thinks about when he heard the invitation for constructive dialogue.

Naturally, that man, being of sound mind, would not willingly expose his neck under the ax. Join this conversation - is like a blindfold to step into the swamp. It is not clear that he expects, but at heart there is certainty that nothing good. By the way, you're not paid enough attention to me "- wording is also so-so. Very vague and ambiguous. We did not realize that you just hochetsyavygovoritsya and complain. We strive to immediately find a constructive solution. And it is fraught with all sorts of trouble for us, like buying gifts or rethinking their own attitudes towards women. Not everyone is going.

In short, you have to do a little more specific. It would be good not only clearly define the future of the conversation, but also to outline its goals, objectives and set time limits. That's when everything is clear. As in the army. Then we can also talk. If you know what and how much. Now it is not idle chatter, and the solution of the problem. Ie to engage in useful and necessary. And do not feed us bread, give poreshat problem - if it can be done without leaving the couch ...

Will not pass, and hints. As you remember, we do not understand hints. And even if something caught, can easily pretend to be fools (it happens, but rarely). It is desirable to speak directly, without beating about the bush. If you want a new fur coat, you should not start a conversation with a discussion of unexpected frosty winter and the state of family finances. Cold winter we are not interested, but the budget will be able to understand themselves. Also, when it comes to money, we start to get nervous - you suddenly learn that we receive is actually a little more. Immediately follows a defensive reaction. True, the same reaction may be followed by the words "new coat" ... But even if in the end followed by a categorical refusal, the conversation somehow still takes place. Is not this a victory?

Man, if I could understand what a woman thinks, you still would not believe.

How to talk with a man? " The conversation should start from afar and for the reason that getting involved in innocuous dialogue, the man suddenly feels trapped. His ran his finger around and caused the conversation to which he may not be ready. It is unsportsmanlike conduct. You can run into trouble. When we are cornered, we do not lose, we fury. So count on the fact that we can be very easily prischuchit, do not. Likely to follow an aggressive attack. But in the end - a quarrel.

This is a very important point. We can actually discuss any problem. Sensibly and calmly. But only when we are talking directly and without quirks. That is, observe the rules of the game. Any attempt to manipulate us in conversation, placing traps and snares, perceived as the most heinous treachery. All of these allusions, omissions, cunning moves and other diplomatic tricks us terribly annoying. Even worse, when we speak as a fool or a child. It's humiliating. With me you can talk. But the only openly and honestly.

So what's the best way to involve us in an important and necessary to you talk - say briefly and plainly that you want to discuss. And our attention is guaranteed. Often, the conversation begins with a question. We ask less, you - often. And rightly so: the question - this is a good way to cause us to communicate. And anyway, so it's easier to talk with us. Provided, however, that the issue is set correctly. That's right - it means short and clear. So, to us, there are simple, it was clear what exactly you want to hear. If you ask: "How are things at work?" - Most likely answer would be a pig "normal." Well, what else can you say? Fires, mass layoffs, the tragic deaths of Directors and the visits of the tax police, in short, something of what would be worth, in our opinion, to tell, do not happen every day. Basically, everything is fine ...

If you just want to talk, we do not realize this, but if you really terribly interested in the state of affairs, ask precisely what you take. For example: "You passed that project, because of which you have two months to come late from work and smelled of perfume from you?" Or: "Do you like your new young secretary?" We hear only the specific issues. Quite a good option is when you clearly represent the subject and ends his statement direct question. At the beginning of such a man does not react and will not willingly postpone the newspaper. He was hooked. For example: "I want to talk about the pros and cons of our relationship and in particular the division of household responsibilities. What could you take? "Simple, clear and concise. Pleasure to listen to.