In the family there is a small miracle that needs love and attention, but his parents and grandmother can not agree on how best to take care of the child, and constantly quarrel over any trifle. Why? Let us look at the germs of origin conflict. How does a grandmother?

- Criticism: "Who so clothe the child! He also catch a cold! "

- Brings up: "We must act with a child severely, and you allow him everything!"

- Reads the moral: "You must love and respect their parents, be kind to them, thank them for their help!"

- Specifies how and what to do better: "With three months to give the lure in your chest and have nothing left!"

Notation and rebukes anyone will withdraw from you. No surprise that newly minted mom and dad react this way: We ourselves know how to educate your child! We have our head on his shoulders! Your tips are outdated! Now everything is different! The older generation does not remain in debt and goes on the attack: You should not talk with my parents! And it all starts again. How do get out of this vicious circle? You must first understand the cause of conflict. What to say to my grandmother those words? Why from time to time it behaves the same way, causing you to the same scandal?

Grandmothers are confident that their methods of education work, because they raised such wonderful, beloved children, and now they want to help them and share experiences. They are willing to devote his life to instill their values grandchildren, but that somehow it is not necessary. Young people want to live my life independently, allowing for their mistakes, stepping on the same, but personal rakes and accumulating personal experience. Who was the first to make concessions, realizing that the scandals are not effective: young parents or gray-haired older generation? Who was the first to learn to smile to blow out the conflict?

Suffering party to the conflict, as usual, the child becomes. Him a little, it is unclear why, once again my mother looks like a wolf in grandmother, and she, in turn, resents her mother. The child adapts to the situation and take over the demeanor mom or grandma copies to be duplicated in adulthood learned behaviors. And at the same time acquire a whole set of problems and complexes: stuttering, self-doubt, nervousness, konfliktnost.My can fight all his life, building up resentment and causing emotional distress to each other. To spoil the life of its own or not - it's our choice. Think about whether scandals endanger the child's welfare - the most valuable and precious creature in the world. For the sake of it, we are ready to sacrifice their lives, but are we able to change his luck, having learned to understand each other? " How to agree to my grandmother and parents?

Well, the world?

Do you really want to be a winner and show the older generation, that it all these years lived wrong? Maybe their whole experience not worth a damn and obsolete? Or did you dream of peace and tranquility in the house, the pleasure of co-lead time, happy holidays? Conflict-free relationship with their parents and grandchildren, who are valued and respected grandmothers - your ideal? Then let him try. There are only two options.

First. You do everything to get away from grandmothers to another district in another city in another country. Simply runs off. It's not bad and not good, it's just your choice. Pros: my grandmother away, you can not live without paying attention to their opinion. Cons: the child is no longer grandmother or communication with her is very limited, which will agree, is not so good for your offspring and for you.

Second. You stay and try to mend relations that all was well. That is, continue to live in one apartment, drive about an amicable, but not far away, often vidites, and it gives you all the fun. The neck to each other when they met you not rush, but quite capable of evaluating the positive aspects of the peace dialogue with each other.

Let's just decide: Who needs peace and good neighborly relations? Mother-in-law, husband, father in law, mother-in? Or did you? Depending on your response we will act.

- You the world is unnecessary. Hence we do is simple and logical conclusion: if the next of kin try to please you and your child from tripping over themselves to please, and you, and military action suit. It's funny, though.

- The world needs you. Agree that the wait loyalty and understanding of the "enemy side" stupid - at least at first. Think that they would change overnight? Immediately love you and will look at the baby with your eyes? Hardly ... So, we will change anyone? That's right - you!

Ideal relationship

To start, create the image of an ideal relationship with his family. How do you think of them? What is it, the ideal grandmother?

- She does not climb into the lives of young parents by providing them the right to make mistakes yourself.

- It does not require the family as a token of gratitude for his help to kiss her feet, and is satisfied with sincere thanks.

- It gives advice when asked her about it, rather than forcing them, reproaches the young generation for the inattention and lack of respect for her age and gray hairs.

- It does not nazvanivaet relatives and friends to tell about how disgusting a mother of her grandchildren.

- It is able to say that it is not satisfied, in a calm, and not pathetically-rydatelnoy form.

- She did not wring their hands and not showering all reproaches, when she refuses, and quietly agrees: "Let it be your opinion."

- Their fears for their children and grandchildren, she leaves with him, not torturing them young parents, who were already many people are afraid.

Now turn for a perfect bride, or a perfect parent. Of course, it would not hurt to ask her grandmother, as she imagines an ideal relationship. But it is likely that to meet this way you will not be enough nor moral nor physical resources. Therefore, we construct the image of relations for which you are willing, but with all the positive qualities of the grandmother, and they are many. Let's remember about them.

- Granny loves her children and grandchildren and is ready to help them.

- She leads an active life: it happens in nature, working in the country, loves flowers.

- It preserves the tons of fruits and vegetables for the winter and never tires of sharing the blank with young parents who have hands to such feats just do not reach.

- It is tasty and hearty cooking. The meaning of her life, she sees it, is to feed to satiety children and grandchildren.

- It may be asked to sit with their grandchildren, when very necessary. And she usually would not refuse.

- It will help, and sorry, even if you are offended by much.

- She is ready to share his life experience, who has repeatedly helped her out of difficult situations.

What are you ready for such a relationship?

- Listen to her advice and agree that they have a reasonable grain.

- Do not talk about her blunders and shortcomings, as well as the negative from your point of view, the qualities of her son (if you - a daughter). I sincerely say thank you for the help that she has grandchildren, and you, if this aid is really needed, rather than invented it.

- Good to talk to her, but at a minimum (mostly "yes" or "no" with a smile), not to give occasion to leave in verbal maze. It is better to listen more.

- How much to praise her actions, noting the positive results.

What could prevent this? Virtually nothing! Of course, your pride and vseznaystvo be prejudiced, because listening to her grandmother, and will often agree with her, because so much of what she might say, reasonably. Will need not only to put forward the theory of verbal, but also to prove his innocence actions and results, which, of course, complicated. We'll have to rummage in the bins of memory and recall the words of thanks and compliments, we are ready to bestow all except their own parents.

You might say: all this is certainly good, but what do I do if my grandmother intervenes in education? Imennoeto to do. Delineate the range for which you are simply not ready to go, because it will harm you and the children, and to understand my grandmother. In this respect her work, sharing, caring and celebrate it as often as possible. Sooner or later, sincere respect is mutual.