Each of us is important to be recognized by other people. Recognition - is one of the basic social needs of man. And one of the components of recognition - a delight. In our ongoing training we have not once met with the fact that people do not even want to allow yourself to be admired, not to mention the fact to do something for this. Do you want to admire you? Look at what it takes. It is interesting, but what people admire? This question is not simple answer, because each of us something of their own charms. Each person can find a line worthy of admiration. Someone like people who stand out from the crowd - a remarkable, original and bright.

In fact, most people admire what they think, they do not have and what they lack. They are fueled by energy of another person, infected with his zest for life, talents, achievements, traits. It may be some unrealized desires, dreams, aspirations, qualities that you yourself do not acknowledge. Sometimes it is encourage other people's successes and make us move forward, set goals and to implement them: Zhenya has bought an expensive car, and we all travel around in an old, dryahlenkoy, and we urgently need to change the car. Sidorova purchased a summer residence, it's time we planned construction of a house. Kate bought doroguschy brand bag, and then I'd rather go to restaurants less, but take no worse.

Some people take over someone's style, manner of speaking, gestures, facial expressions: if I know that everybody likes the people hospitable, sociable, cheerful, then I will become such that I admired. Sometimes they have to clench his teeth with rage, because there is no mood to meet guests, entertain them, to cook something delicious. And in fact, so eager for someone to admire intelligence, erudition, knowledge! We are not accidentally wrote "most people admire what they think, they do not possess." Indeed, if you do not recognize in himself some qualities, talents or traits, then you will probably be like another person who does it, sells, possesses it. Thus, you'll add them yourself.

The reality is that each of us already have it all: all the traits, qualities, talents and opportunities, but some of us use them, and others - not. How is it that you do not find yourself in some sort of hell? We do not say anything new: it is likely, inside you have any restrictions on it to be such that you can not develop itself in this line and looking for another person who already has this wealth. For example, you believe that you have no sexuality. You forbid yourself to be sexy? Take for granted that sexuality is in each, as each of us is biologically fit for sex. But inside there is a ban, a rule prohibiting be sexy.

One can hardly admire people who do not seek to achieve their goals. Those who are not pleased with himself, not improving, do not develop their talents, skills, capabilities and abilities. It is unlikely that someone wants to imitate the begging, lazy, various dependencies. With such people nothing to talk about, because they are not interested in anything. Unlikely to want to be like the people who day in and day remember how fun it was to get drunk at a party, or talking about a dream that will never come true, because no one is going to implement. For such people are usually looked upon with reproach, condemnation, sorrow, contempt. And to borrow from them nothing except a great desire to vegetate all life. In fact, they do not deserve condemnation and compassion, because they are not just unattractive, they are broadcast around his nescha-stlivost.

Six ways to Dale Carnegie

Often the words "delight others," people understand "to entertain others." To approach each person to do what others like, please, dissemble, to adapt to people. However, there is nothing more unattractive than insincerity. More Dale Carnegie proposed a simple, consisting of only a few rules of a system which, as he had promised her creator, you can easily make new acquaintances, friends, and facilitate the communication and flirting. Six ways how to make people admire you:

1.Proyavlyayte sincere interest in people. This means that you need to learn to listen and hear others. Talk less about myself, more interest.

2.Ulybaytes. Be friendly, always in a good mood, no one likes to hear that you have a problem or a bad mood.

3.Pomnite that, in any language, not for a man of sound greater and sweeter than the sound of his own name. Do not forget the names of the man's nice when it is called by name, and the more often you'll say it, the better it will be.

4.Budte a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. A good listener - someone who remembers what he was told, can be an active listener, and not outsiders witness.

5.Govorite about things of interest to your buddy. So you will quickly be able to strike up a conversation. Try not to impose their views, do not argue.

6.Davayte people feel their own importance - and do it sincerely. Compliments!

Of course, following these guidelines, you will be able to make a first good impression on the man capture his attention, ingratiate themselves. However, to fulfill all these requirements can be just being a robot. As an example, take an interest in people that you are not interested?

Allow ourselves to reformulate the rules of the Carnegie:

1.General with people you like, do not do so to please them. Interested in what you yourself like them.

2.Zhivite for themselves. Only a person who meets their needs, and can therefore be happy to give joy to others. The man who is committed to solve other people's problems and pushes on the back burner its own, unhappy, and he had nothing to share with others.

3.If you often do not speak from himself and not another, and "general" and "like all", you do not respect any opinion, nor the man who is your companion. Allow yourself to have an opinion, his views and his attitude to something or someone else as well - allowing all of this and the other, you respect yourself and others. Examples of disrespectful communication: "You are like all women (men)," "we all think that ...". Respecting the uniqueness of their own and another person, you become an interesting, attractive and credible and reciprocal respect.

4.Obschayas with others, do not stay in a monologue, and dialogue. Monologue - is when everyone says its not interested in how you respond to another person. Dialogic form of communication is as follows: "I want to tell you ... how do you feel about that?", "You told me ... I feel about this ...." If you do not react to the words of the person or not allow another insert your response in your monologue - this communication does not bring to life is nothing new, but the flow of information, it is unclear why the stated. Let other people interested in you, and myself - interested in others.

5.If your opinion differs from the views of your interlocutor does not make sense to figure out which of you is right. If you respect yourself and others, allow yourself and others be different.

6.Soglasites at odds. Each of us - is unique and sees the world differently.

Art like in our understanding - it is not a list of ways to become better, more comfortable and perfect for others , it is not the ability to manipulate the attention of others. It is important not to try to take a lot of room in my head the other, and remain as you are, naturally, and thus attract. People often follow the rule: "to love, to be an ideal and convenient for others." In fact, the higher our willingness to admit human weaknesses, the more we love. The secret to this rule is simple: being free, recognizing all the human qualities, you give and the other the right to be free from the conventions and have flaws.