We have very little love for our children. We are sometimes very busy, especially when you have worn for two or three works, and because we do not know how to love. Probably, many parents still life set on what they nedolyubili their children ... even 20-30 years ago in the upbringing of children the most actively involved grandparents. And the pope with moms just more physically absent at home. Today, grandparents are coming to replace nurses who, in my experience, not judged based on their contribution to the emotional development of children, and for compliancy and willingness to obey the regime hosts.

Need for love and emotional support for child feels from the first minutes of his birth, and this need will only increase with time. Psychologists of all schools of thought insist on the importance of close physical, bodily contact with children. The main figure, warm and loving, of course, is the mother, and which will play a major role in the development of a child under 5-6 years. If children are weaned from their mothers or mothers themselves early in the morning rush to work, the children formed "a set of orphans, psychological, and emotional detachment from others. He will be difficult to establish and maintain long-lasting and deep relationships with others, he can not safely rely on another person.

Lack of deep, permanent, not occasional fussy emotional bond leads to early childhood neuroses and thoroughly grown-up hurts people, especially their personal lives, which is just involves emotional intimacy and the intense interest in another person. Cruel experiments on this subject puts life. Children raised in orphanages and children's homes, which do not have enough staff, grow insecure people, with very low aspirations and low self-esteem. If nothing else, except the blame, the kid has not heard since childhood, he learns that negative behavior pattern. How to love a child?

There are a few of the axioms of parental love:

• Love does not happen much. Do not be afraid to love too much. Need to be afraid to love too little.

• The main instruments of love are physical and visual contact, through which formed an emotional attachment, confidence, open and friendly attitude to the world.

• Do not think that is enough to love "in mind" or that parental love - is taken for granted. Must also be able to communicate his love child.

• Basic psychological derivative of parental love is a child self-esteem. He is so adequately assess yourself, how often and exactly what we emotionally respond to him and his behavior.

• Mothers are responsible for self-esteem of children, the pope - for the level of claims, is what they seek.

• It is important not only to love a child, but teach him to love and care about others.

The rule of "physical contact". His own children, we must often be on the hands, cuddle and hug and kiss and caress on the back, bathing in the bath ... psychologists call teachers sit at the first lots of the most "chilled" in the emotional sense of children so that it can not only often look to them in a notebook, but also embrace their shoulders or shake hands. Academic performance of children is known to depend not only on their intellectual abilities, but also on their confidence that they are loved and accepted.

The rule of "a loving look." Another way to show our love - it's mind, a warm, loving, adoring, enthusiastic, happy. Such a view is a better word says about how we treat your child. Already 2 months after birth, children begin to not only focus on an object and distinguish between them, but clearly looked for another man, his mother. Mom - the most important and vital "object". To stretch it, miss him and cry when its gone too long. I watched in amazement as more and more the role of mothers perform nanny, grandmother, and even dad! A few people I know journalists, making a significant career, at home with the children sit their husbands. It is hoped that the process adopted in our culture, men's severity does not prevent them caress and nurture children, as well as look at them with the mother's adoration.

Open up your child

We must learn to look openly and directly in the eyes of our children. And then they will calmly and confidently look into the eyes of others. There is one interesting pattern: the more often and more openly children look into the eyes of adults, the more often they are offered support and assistance. British psychologists have conducted a simple experiment in one of the children's hospitals. They are arithmetically calculated that the volunteers who come to the hospitals free of charge to help medical personnel, often come into the Chamber to the sick children, which differ in sociability, spontaneity, open look.

Voice, intonation, good or bad, irritable, too, reported the children about how warm and sincere, we relate to them. Analysis of the Russian tradition of education leads me to conclude that we have physical contact and look actively used by parents as a means of punishment. Strict, stern, angry look a parent called the kid to stop and warn of imminent physical punishment. Well, the principle of "hits mean like" we learn in childhood, when physical punishment on the part of relatives of people perceived as the norm.

How to love a child? love child - which means to stimulate his care for others. Love - it's an incentive for our children to ensure that they are not afraid to open this world and take it for what it is, with his bitterness and concerns. Instead of "hold me stronger, baby! While I was with you, you're not in danger! "Good mother, said:" Do not be afraid to look into the eyes of others, open and friendly as I look at yours. Whatever happened to you, you always have the strength to overcome difficulties. There must exist a number of people ready to support you, but need your help and support. " A mother's love should not freeze light, it should help open up the world! Declaration of love may sound differently: "You are very dear to me," "I wonder, what are you doing?", "How beautiful you get!", "Who is so well drawn!", "Let's embrace? "" I can not cope without you! "," And who will kiss me on the cheek to lighten the mood? "," Come join our lovely fed the kitten? "," And if we're together swill the cup, we're gonna see the cartoon, which you Like, "" You swept the floor? Yes, you're the best Mr Muscle in the world! ".