Oh, horror! You have to divide the square footage with in-laws that you hate quiet. Anyway, you are sure it is in this. You are defending, defending words, needles, sharp moves and slams the door, but this situation for the better does not change.

When a son was born (the first), my husband and I moved in with his parents, there was plenty of living space. A week later her husband sent away on a business trip for three months (young professional, his career needs to be done). While it was not like everything went well, but when he returned, behind my back just started talking about my shortcomings. Sam's husband-to-child does not fit: "He's a little like playing with it? That will grow ... "I tossed, torn between a bunch of cases, and in response received a sidelong glances and spiteful comments. Four months later, father-in-law sent me a floor because the child cried until I ran into the bathroom to press the next diaper. The kid turns out to be interfered with in-law and her husband calmly eat and shabby. I packed up and went to his parents.

In addition to her father, you regularly encounter in the kitchen with my mother in low, so that strives to make a comment at every opportunity. Not to feed my husband! Not that you give your child! Mother said! You lower your eyes, swallow an insult or snaps, are taking an aggressive defensive stance. And maybe you smile: what to take with a man old school? She, in turn, is confident that the wife of her beloved son in the house will remain a guest. Well, it's time to move to a safe place.

Continued

In two weeks we have identified from the work room in the hostel. The husband immediately rushed to put up, before that, he just chuckled: "Well, doprygalas?" While the three-month overhaul done in this room, my husband went to live with. In the end, decided to try to start all over again. Now we live quite happily, apart from their parents, the second son "acquired".

The story ended with a happy endom largely due to relocation. If you still have to live on foreign soil, we will learn to get pleasure from it, and make plans and take steps to change the situation for the better.

Understand with the objectives

What exactly do you want? To re-in-law (her father), set her husband against his mother (father), to escape from the hell of it or learn to treat everything quietly, so that even the thought of intrigue, placed by relatives of her husband, did not cause you palpitations? I really hope that last one. Because all previous versions, even if imaginary easy reach and value of pleasure derived from sweet revenge, is proving to be ineffective. As a rule, quite a few months to begin to draw the full negative impact of a spoon. So revenge, save insult not advise - just inefficient. How to get along with their closest relatives? We use the age-old way: the change itself, but to begin with - their attitude towards the situation.

Do you consider yourself a fool?

No? Then why are offended by this seemingly innocuous word? And if you call an elephant, a monkey, a kangaroo? How do you sreagiruete? Will work "right" of association and you frantically try to discover what flaws in your appearance and shape meant the man? Or still laugh, because he considers himself a man, not one of these animals?

Now answer: why do you respond to hurtful, in your opinion, replica mother-in-law? They call you a bad mother? Bad hostess? You can not bring up my son? You really is? No? Then why are offended by this nonsense? Or did you think? Then the output is very simple: become a good mother, a beautiful housewife, great lover, a wise wife. But only in his own eyes. This is quite enough to make life easier. Here's how such an article is another matter.

How to become better in their eyes, or improves self-esteem

First, it makes sense to analyze why you are so bad about myself think. Where did these plants? From childhood? So it is long over. You have already matured and got his own child. From relatives? From your beloved husband? Analyze how untrue these epithets. For example, I think of you very well. And how could it be otherwise? Whether you're a stupid, dull, amorphous creature, the book would not be reading this. (See how I subtly yourself and your praised.) Look for similar criteria for the highest ratings in their lives. Mandatory condition: the facts must be true.

For example: How do I know how to cook great soup! Good for me! Take-ka-shelf cake, no better than an apple: and the figure and saving yourself, your favorite, reward. Secondly, as you probably noticed, for any positive statement in your address should be followed by positive reinforcement. Or in other words - the reward. So are trained animals, and, you know, works great! And what we're worse? Third, ask about the talents of others and collect praise in his address. At the same time asking to those who surely will tell you something good (bad as you should come up).

Thus, using uncomplicated rules, slowly raise your self-esteem. That sly: quick results as they go and go, remember this. In parallel, we will adjust the physical reality for themselves, by their desires, in other words, the "mark territory." Most of the problems with family - both her and her husband's - occur in a completely trivial reasons. At a young wife shoulder more responsibilities than it wanted and could carry out, and she is silent in this case, suffers for the time and saves an insult. So it turns out: daughter all bad, can not cope with their responsibilities, lazy and even requires something.

We will "mark territory"

Enough to speak out about their responsibilities, which you are willing to take on: what, when and in what terms, to what extent. But remember: they need to really perform, and qualitatively, otherwise your credibility will be lost. Sometimes (at least once a week), repeat what you have undertaken to do and how you deal with it. Let the "enemy" sees that you are fully armed, fully operational.

Many problems arise at the newlyweds with the boundaries of its own territory. Somehow, the next of kin does not want to see interior doors and are ready to break to young for any occasion. Sometimes it brings to white heat. What to do? Gently explain that this area is your - your husband. That come in to you only with a bang and with your permission. First, you simply can not understand, but be persistent. The water wears away a stone.

I remember when I was living separately from her mother in law, she was very fond of calling me sit and talk about all his affairs. I relinquish the phone from his ear, not to dismantle the words, but once caught interrogative intonation or pause, then immediately chimed. Now we live together, and I have to listen to whatever she sees fit to tell me why I act this way: either agree, expressing a kind of compromise statement, or say nothing. Do, however, in most cases in their own way, but I did and was responsible for what I do. A mother in law, as an intelligent man, draws his conclusions.

Marina

From the room - to own housing

Now smoothly move on to planning. What are we, indeed, do we want? Maybe the conditions of life with in-laws have become so acceptable that we should not move? In any case, think about a separate housing costs. Therefore, we first present that we want to have: their homes, or removable, a house or flat (and what kind of apartment, in what area, what floor, with some neighbors, etc..). And quietly we enter a painted picture of myself, husband, child. Now the concrete steps. Opportunities today, the sea: learn, look, are calculated. Just do not need to sit on the ground and self-pity, pity, pity ... much good this will not happen. Take Action!