How would you not want to settle comfortably in someone else's family (and anyway, their husband's family you will never be truly their own), it is unlikely someone will let you do it. And the first man who "gently" give a feel for your mother in law will be. This is strange and illogical, because "in-law" comes from the phrase "own blood", that is, in theory, it should replace a woman, married, a mother, but in life everything happens exactly the opposite. The word "daughter" all (well, almost everything) in-law understood as "who knows", and act on the basis of this nice idea. Between the wife and mother all the time there is a struggle for attention and primacy in the heart of one and the same person. Hence, you do not blowjob cup, even if until now it was all O'K.

To start a small story, that all fell into place. In the family, our neighbors' double joy - daughter gave birth to a boy (the first in the family), and a daughter expecting her second child. Our neighbor, a good woman (in-principle) peacefully coexists with the daughters of that helps with the baby (she had it first), especially with it does not conflict. And, apparently, everything is fine, but ... One conversation with her on the topic of motherhood and childhood, I suddenly realized that the nice woman Olga really, quite frankly, honestly and completely worried about his daughter, who is having problems with intra-uterine pregnancy, At the same time, a drop of not showing concern for the daughter, whose (I know) is not going smoothly in the postpartum period. And it sounds like: "Oh, I'm so excited for the Innu (daughter), so that only all was well with baby. Poor, so it is hard! Stomach ache and everything hurts! Here is Nastya (daughter), so good walking away - not once complained that she had something wrong .... " How do you like it?

In my heart I understand, of course, all right - own children will always be closer to the mother than the best-in-law or daughter, but where's the justice? And why in this case, to the point and not to the point of repeating that you love everyone equally? In the five years of their marriage, I realized - my dislike for her mother in law did not appear in the plain, and that she can not bear me, just like I did. And the fact that in the eyes she told me no bad words (well, almost) irrelevant. Still in a conflict between me and her favorite child - my husband - it never will be on my side. Mind it I can understand and accept, but deep down, growing resentment, which sooner or later spill, and then what happens is terrible to think. But what can make intelligent, wise woman, to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings with family husband? How to build relationships with her mother in law?

That's right - at least contact, maximum respect, non-intervention policy and the regime of absolute silence - like a submarine. After all, something to go nowhere. Should try to "live together", as urged mischievous mice unforgettable cat Leopold. Men relate to it easier - by-law I have such problems never arise. Even when I was naive and very inexperienced girl who came to their house, and he had to cook dinner for the entire family, I have not heard a word of reproach in his address. And all this despite the fact that in-law at the time turned fifty-six years.

But when the "tired" of the preparations for the wedding, and hit the road immediately after it to the resort in-law came home, I was immediately poured broadside and "good wishes" since "no one even tablecloths are not washed," and "why not wiped the dust from the cabinet? "and ending" bezdelnitsa fell on my head! ". Justified in such cases, a more expensive - nobody cares what your working day lasts twelve hours, which for the moment when you come to the neighborhood, all shops are closed, but you're tired as a dog, one thing is clear - the daughter of the house appears not just so. It is necessary to remove the burden from the shoulders of mother-house affairs. A nice "mom" will monitor the implementation of, and to criticize the proceedings and without work - in fact all the same "everything is not as much as necessary" and "something only a mother taught you."

Ending this sad story, I will say that after three weeks of such a life, my husband went to the rented apartment, and his parents now meet at family celebrations. All content and happy, and I can even afford to call in the evening-in-law to ask her health and listen to recommendations for housekeeping. I am happy that such a "contact" lasts fifteen minutes a day, the husband is happy, I'm not crying into my pillow at night, frightening the children happy to go to the grandparents for the weekend "visit", and "grandparents" are pleased that we have them there and not much bother.

Mom does not like her husband ..

No less sad stories happen to us women when we are trying to start a family life under the wing of their parents. Anecdotes on the theme of "mother-in-law - son in law" is quite a lot. And, as they say, every joke there is some fun ... Here are a couple.

"There are two friends. One asks the other:

-How are you?

-Yes, okay. Yesterday the wife's mother was buried.

-So what?

-Tore three accordion. "

Significantly? I think so.

What do we do that? Your mom does not like your husband, because he was "Slacker," "slacker", you will not respects, not raising children, but only eats and sleeps? It's all excuses. In fact, she does not like him because he is not like your father. Every (or almost) the mother wants for her daughter such a husband, what she found for herself (unless of course he is not completely anti-social elements), and the choice of my mother's daughter is almost never satisfied. You know the old anecdote about how one woman almost simultaneously married daughter and son zhenila? ... The story of zyate - "He's such a clever - and coffee in bed, my daughter will bring, and diapers to wash and prepare breakfast, and earns a lot, it gives all the flowers, all sorts of gifts ..." and the story of the daughter - "lazy! Diaper baby does not erase all waiting for the son from work will come to the store itself will never go, squandering money and more attention to their demands, hussy! ".

Well, what is? Familiar? So it's nothing, flowers! Much worse when acrimony and mother-in-law passes all bounds, and becomes an open confrontation. What to do with you? Include intelligence, and tried in his vast piggy bank to find the nuggets of wisdom that will help us with honor and no losses out of a difficult situation.

There are several options:

1) make a scandal with her husband smashing dishes and shouting, "Why do you hate my mom!" - No comment

2) to collect "the council at Fili" - all parties to the conflict and try to resolve the situation through peaceful means

3) talk with her husband and mother separately, and to agree with everyone - my mother about that she did not interfere with your family, and her husband to embrace the "nonaggression pact" - you do not touch his mother, and he your

4) of your choice - and try not to forget his wisdom

Have you noticed that, and this case it was not about the Pope? Who can answer - why father-in-law almost always able to reach consensus (assuming that one or the other is not a complete bastard, of course)? Mystery of nature? Or simply easier for men to agree? I can not say. Single opinion on that score neither I nor my friends married ladies and was not found. With other relatives as something simpler - with no such direct contact with both parents. You are in themselves, by themselves. You can, of course, "family friends", but it will be just friendship, not family relationships. So there is one rule - "do not second pit to the other ...." And finally, just want to say - now that we are not given to choose their relatives, only one solution - to put up with them as a necessary evil. In the end, blood is not water. Not necessarily to love them, but to maintain communication and strengthen the bonds - it is our duty and sacred duty. Family - your rear pillar and support, and how it will largely depend on you.