How to avoid conflicts
Most people are interested in psychology, how to avoid conflict . " It is important to understand that conflict is useful for the development of relations, is harmful - a quarrel. Clarify the difference between the quarrels and conflicts. Characterized by conflict detection and recognition of differences in views and the search for understanding, even if it takes place in a very emotional way. If both partners are interested in, not only to be understood and to understand each other and through this to find a compromise solution - it is a conflict.
The quarrel is different in that one of the participants or each of them do not seek common solutions and are not interested to understand another person, and are only interested in how to express their discontent and to deliver an ultimatum. The purpose of the conflict - to improve relations. The purpose of argument - let off some steam, relieve accumulated tension. Fairly easy to identify people who are prone to a greater extent to the quarrel or conflict. To quarrel more inclined people who think that "there is only one correct opinion." It does not matter whose, but most - of their own: "If others have a different view of the situation, then they are stupid, shortsighted or ill."
Go to the conflict are more likely people are recognizing their own and others' uniqueness, respecting the difference, with interest of studying a variety of viewpoints on the same situation. Perhaps you sometimes notice that they started to somebody to prove something, to argue, you really want to have your opinion was the only right one. You wish that the dispute was terminated only by you, not the opponent. The basis of this lie your unspoken needs, such as: to command, to dominate, to be better, stronger, smarter.
But the result may appeal to you and does not fully satisfy your partner: you experience the joy, because it insisted on his and his opponent does not want to communicate with you, because you are very hot-tempered. It interferes with your understanding with colleagues, superiors, in personal relationships, communicating with friends. Some people believe that the avoidance of conflicts of uncertainty avoidant says: "You are silent, so there you have an opinion!"
If you notice that you start too emotionally switched to the criticism, stop, breathe deeply, say that the topic you are offended, why are you so boil. Usually it is sufficient only to indicate their status in order to take power over him. If you start to argue, recognize that your opponent can also be your opinion, think about it. Tell your opponent that you do not want to argue. Let's agree to differ. In the quarrel will never be able to protect their interests, or to reach a decision. Evaluate the possible consequences of the conflict, acknowledge them with his opponent, talk quietly about the problems that are so emotional effect on you.
In order to maintain a good relationship with the person with whom you have different points of view or from which you hear criticism, avoidance of conflict - not the best way, as well as the transformation of disputes into contention. One simple rule will help you find the golden mean is, when you are telling partner that you do not like his behavior, his sentence to mark the two components:
1.Vashe true attitude to the very partner (opponent)
2.Predmet you disagree.
For example:
"I support to you and do not want to spoil relations with you, but I do not like that ..." "I respect you and appreciate it, but ..." "I love you and I are important relationship with you, but ..." More subtle and significant increase in the level of your communication will be the ability to replace the word "but" on "and": "I respect you and appreciate , and at the same time I hate that ... "equal respect to both themselves and to another - a pledge smooth, stable relationship in which one only your ability to find a balance of respect can lead to a strong attraction to other people.
