Love - the feeling inspires and elevates us. But how often do we find ourselves in the thrall of his passions, and either suffer from years of unrequited love, or lose ourselves, changing partners, such as gloves. How to avoid becoming a slave to love? ... Suddenly he ever remember me, but I will not be next? "," I can not forget it, all compared with it: it is - the best, "" What if he does not enjoy my friends? "," I live for her husband, "I no longer love him, how to be ?"... Most of us at least once said these phrases ... so it might be worth learning from their mistakes?

He does not like me

They say that love can not be forced. You can take it on faith, accept and quietly retreat to the side. But if your heart does not want to just give up, why not try to start the object of his love interest, to find some common themes that draw attention to themselves. You lose nothing if the first do step forward. Perhaps your partner is simply embarrassed to come first. But the main thing in this situation - time to stop and not to make an attempt at rapprochement mania. Clearly give yourself time, such as a month. If during this time you will never be able to conquer her lover, then collect all the will in a fist and say to yourself "Stop!". Unrequited love can last for years without bringing joy or reciprocity, or satisfaction. That's why your problem - get rid of the obsessive feelings. To help yourself, take advantage of proven psychological techniques.

Repression. It is useless to engage in auto-suggestion like "I do not think about it. I do not think I do not think and feel your willpower to the test. The result will be reversed. Try to take yourself so that the space to think there will be no.

Substitution. They say to forget about back pain, you need to pinch myself in hand. Use this technique. To forget about the beloved, often associate with other men. This helps us switch and maybe find a new and, most importantly, mutual love.

Debunking. All we tend to exalt their favorite and not notice (at least at first) their flaws. Your job - to reset the object of love from the pedestal, remembering, or presenting it in an absurd or ridiculous situations (eg, sitting on the pot, sleeping in socks and a helmet).

Become his shadow

When Kostya started dating, I was literally blinded by love - tells 27-year-old Natasha. I really wanted to like him even more. He's older than me by 9 years, and because I felt that I owed him "fit." He was my "guru", the teacher, the most beloved man in the world. Frankly, I'm embarrassed to even his friends - too young and inexperienced. This went on for two years until one fine day my sister told me that I simply ceased to exist, has become a shadow of bones. In fact, I stopped to meet with friends, doing something for themselves. Every action commensurate with the opinion of Bones. I've lived his life. "

"This error does each second woman - says family psychologist Maria Kashin. - The fact that we want to please theirpartner, there is nothing criminal in it. And to help him organize his life - is also perfectly normal. Importantly, do not go to extremes. Love and value yourself: in an unsuccessful pursuit of attention and love, man will remember that you love not only him, but himself - smart, beautiful and unique. And you are clearly not on the way, if he just does not see this! Be honest with yourself and find the strength to terminate unpromising relationship. Your efforts may have failed, admit defeat! And start all over again, but this time with another person.

Love lives for three years

More than 40% of people under 35 consider themselves to be susceptible. Under this concept, they imply a tendency to frequent changes of partners. Psychologists say: this behavior is characterized primarily emotional and insecure people. Most of them fixate on the first phase of love, which includes love, conquest, and euphoria. The attractiveness of this phase can be explained chemically: in this period are released into the blood, "laughing" matter feniletilenamin and adrenaline. "Advanced" amorous people can sustain the relationship, lasting three years: during this time is a full cycle from winged to the quiet tenderness. Then hormonal surges cease, and for the continuation of relations need something more than "chemistry", which means that both partners have to build relationships and develop, which is undoubtedly more complicated. The first step toward healing - a reflection. Trying to break with another partner, ask yourself some questions: "Am I not love him?" For what I valued him before? "Did he have any positive qualities?".

Unhappily Ever

According to statistics, 10% of Russians are unhappy in marriage, and 3% of the spouses, but their own admission, are on the brink of their relationship. The reason for cooling can be anything: the lack of money and sexual frustration, and banal weariness from each other. Is it worth fighting for love, or simply step back and start all over again? Psychologists do not recommend to make a decision too quickly, on a hot head. First of all you need to ask ourselves: "Am I ready to grow old with this man?" If yes, then be patient and do not cling to the little things, because the recession begins again rise, which would bring our relationship parameters qualitatively new level. If your answer - "no" and you do not need each other, what is the meaning of living together? Tension and anger will only grow. The main thing - do not be afraid to be alone and do not hold, as a straw, the collapse of the relationship. The life of an unloved man - a lot of stress. Besides, unless you put a point in some respects, you can not start new with someone else.

"My husband and I married for love and for two years lived, as the saying goes," for myself "- says 30-year-old Victoria. - Then decided it was time to think about the child. I got pregnant, and after 9 months we have a wonderful little boy was born . Like all young moms, I spent the whole first year was worn with a baby and at times frightening day and night. Finally, our son began to walk, we hired a nanny, and I have time for myself and for my husband. But I was surprised to realize that We have more interesting. I tried to understand their feelings, dig out a drop of attachments, films soul was empty. dalos difficult decision to leave: her son at that time was only two years, and the apparent reason for the divorce was not (my husband did not drink or walking, the money earned). But stay together was simply no reason: we do not bound, as a child and so you can communicate. This is not my "half." It's not that I abruptly stopped loving one hundred.'s just that we were strangers. This does not mean that he is indifferent to me. Despite the fact that we got divorced, we do not stop there to communicate and even make friends. As for my personal life, I have not met her only, but I believe it will happen. "