How not to make mistakes?

Perhaps the most important step in changing myself - is the acceptance of yourself as is. It is necessary to avoid the constant internal conflict, when we condemn or criticize yourself. When we say "I'm very unhappy with a" we divide ourselves into two parts: the "self" and "myself" and fuels the conflict between them. One part of the criticism from others. And this war takes a balance of forces. At the end of a very good film "Lord of War" is a wonderful phrase of the territory in which a civil military conflict: "Do you know who keeps this area? Neither one nor the other side, they just kill each other. This country will get arms dealers. " Excellent metaphor! The war within themselves damaging. There are no winners. Victory is possible only if you admit being perfect. In order to learn to accept yourself, do the following exercise.

Take your list of negative traits, made in the previous exercise, and find the positives in every negative quality that you have written. Redo their shortcomings so that they turned into advantages. For example, instead of "I'm pedantic" - "Yes, I like to thoroughly delve into all the circumstances of the case." Instead of "I'm stubborn" - "Yes, I am, I always stand on his." Instead of "I'm stupid" - yeah, I need time to understand anything. " Instead of "I brake" - "I'm a slow gas." Do not worry if you work with self-acceptance, and will move slowly. You decide how much time you need for something to change their beliefs, and at what rate you move. Do not blame yourself for what you are fast enough accept yourself. Do not blame yourself as well, because you often will automatically continue to abuse themselves. Stop this vicious cycle of internal aggression. You are at this stage, do everything you can, what you are capable. This - the first building block to further development.

. We are very afraid of bugs, and if in our biography there are incidents in which we did not as demanding of other people, rules, morals or conscience, we are working hard to forget it. Alas, our consciousness is constructed in such a way that's easy to forget there's nothing we can, we can just push something out of consciousness, moving it into the unconscious. This happens in different ways: we can stop to hear something or see, to notice some people forget the basic things. Forgetfulness - the first symptom that a child forgetful person getting any sound. And here the fact that in any case not realize that you do not want to realize, leaving huge amounts of energy. We spend a force to protect himself from himself and his feelings, the memories, the knowledge and understanding. On these protective mechanisms of consciousness, preserving us from what is unconscious, written many books. They disclosed in detail the action of these mechanisms and describe their impact on our lives. For example, in one of the books by Nina Rubshtein Script of your life, or as you like, so be it. " There is also an interesting view that the situation that we want to hide from others, becoming a mystery. And we all know how hard it is to wear the mystery in itself. It does not make mistakes? Spend a little self-examination and make a list of topics or events that your internal processes that you hide from others. Where, as you make a mistake, did not like the conscience tells you, and now you do not want it to be someone we know? Analyze each of these "secret" of the points:

-My mistake against him is that ...

-My mistake against the ... (fill important to you humans) is that ...

For convenience, use the following table:

Erroneous actions committed each and is an integral part of our development, because we do not know in advance how to react to the world around us on our actions. We learn all the different reactions of the world just through the experience of mistakes. Moreover, there is no single universal prescription that can we insure for all occasions, as the world changes every second and every time we have to invent a new recipe. We can never guess how the world in the next second will respond to our gestures. We are every second to react differently, if we are real people. This process is called creative adaptation to a changing environment. But if we - the robots, semi-automatic, then we do not adapt to the environment because the world does not correspond to a given robot program. Every unplanned result of our actions gives rise to anxiety, resentment, confusion, fear and feelings of injustice.

Our actions are truly wrong when, instead of fix them, we pretend that our error is due to the actions of others, "it is not we," or that this action was really necessary - that is when we start justify its actions. Fear of error is built on a solid foundation of guilt: "if I'm wrong, then I'm guilty." Now, people have forgotten that wine was once measured in monetary terms and the implied compensation for damages. Before, during rodoplemen-relations, the error is always implied the possibility of its correction. If a person commits a mistake, he could compensate her. Say, a trampled garden - basket of turnips. Remember: "An eye for eye, tooth for a tooth"? This is the principle of compensation and correction deed. Now the word "Veera" has turned into the word "wine", which is something you need to wear a lifetime and to bathe, swim, swim ...

And then, instead of managing your life man tries to simply disappear from the eyes of others, take off all of the powers to be, to exist. Accused completely usurps the responsibility for the event and aims to get rid of life as the cause of this load, the second pays full responsibility for the management of their living environment. While the actual responsibility for what happened at all divided equally, including the nature. For example, why I moknu in the rain? My responsibility: Do not take an umbrella liability of nature: rain.

If I take responsibility for everything in the world (and for nature and for the reactions and actions of others) and I - the reason for everything "- then I take on burdens which, of course, can not carry, and berated himself for what is not God. From this does not become easier: in this case I am still not in control of my life, I'm generally not up to it - because I run the world! And this illusion of his own life becomes just a backdrop. If I fold all responsibility for what happens, I lose control of himself and his own life: if I'm not privy to what is happening, has no effect on that, then I - the victim, I am not in control of my life, I was "forced" "rape", "convince" others. If you find a situation where you made a mistake with respect to yourself or your loved ones, realize it and think about how what you can compensate for it. Forgive yourself imperfections. You have committed this or that mistake because they do not possess the experience to avoid it. And now you have this experience. And it is - the acquisition, which you did by mistake!