Sometimes loneliness is much better than the family life that have a lot of people. But even having not the best family life, most couples do not divorce, preferring to live in the family, believing loneliness worse choice. How do people create their own loneliness? The first of the barriers to a happy family life - is unconscious ordering his loneliness. Ways to implement such an unconscious order, unfortunately, a lot.

Fears, doubts

The first way to get an unwanted event, if you remember, is a direct order into trouble through all sorts of doubts and fears. Life always fulfills what we ask of her own thoughts, no matter how strange they may be. Remember how often you attend thoughts like: "Am I will never marry (not married)? Men are too small, I could not find a future husband! I'm doomed to loneliness, "and such? If such thoughts are characteristic of you, life is nothing to do but to execute this vysokoemotsionalny your order. But do it for you? If not, then immediately start working with their fears. To do this, there are a number of techniques which we have been told in Part 1 (see "Samoprogrammiruemsya on the positive" and "friends with their feelings"). All of these recommendations relate to fears about the child, parent or spouse (if any). Fears about their health or safety of another kind of "order" them away. But he, fortunately, is usually not performed. However, if you feel fear for a long time and savor them, then you can probably "size reduction" to their loved ones any trouble. So learn to live so that your head would come only bright and happy thoughts.

 Getting rid of fear?

Is it possible to independently make this uninvited "counsel" has ceased to interfere in your personal life? Of course, if used for this purpose the following techniques. The first method, using visualization techniques, you will find some way of his fear - "protector" against future errors, and then send him my love and gratitude for the care of your peaceful future. Under the influence of your love, fear is transformed into an image of confidence, which resides in your subconscious mind and does not prevent you to make regular nonsense. Or your fear is transformed into something fun and different, that makes you smile at the memory of this image (pig on a bike, cucumber in syrup and the like).

The second method of getting rid of traumatic inflammation of Minani described in detail in Part 1 (see "What luminescence bov?") And in the book "Tips Brac, has already rejected and keen to reject." The essence of it is pretty simple. To the last stress does not affect your current behavior, you deny the experience of energy, which it received at the time of stress. For this you have a lot of time with all the minutest detail to retell the event in which you have experienced a strong experience. Usually this is the moment when you first heard that you do not like you've changed or something like that. To retell the most emotionally and at length, about twenty times, maybe more. As a result, the former experiencing a very sharp devalued and no longer have an impact on your present life.

 Low rank in the value system

How low rank values can create problems with family life? " That way, when you internally feel that there are more serious cases, which should devote time and effort. For example, it could be science, education, history, spiritual development, politics, social activities, help their neighbors. In men, it might be more interesting job or business that requires full immersion. This is serious business. And there are others that are not important for you to areas of life such as family, children or health, which you are forced to deal with. But you are not interested and even annoyed that they disconnect you from your favorite cause. Life picks up that your frustration and regards it as a command not annoy you more different kinds of stupid things like family or kids.

In men, it happens much more frequently than women. Start a family seems to be because parents itch about it from morning to evening, the body rarely requires sex, but my friends all the time you are trying to marry off (probably jealous of your freedom). Women supervazhnym affair can become the children (randomly bred). Caring for them takes them all the time, no time to think about themselves and their personal lives, and not all of these important efforts. Here are caring for children - this is serious business! It is understandable that people with a similar system of values will be great difficulty in creating a family - she just do not need. Usually such people and not worry about the lack of family - just once, many other serious cases. You will be alone as long as not consciously move the issue of device personal life to a higher place in the list of your valuables.

 Low self-esteem

A typical way to create his solitude is what you ask of life of love and marriage (marriage), but at heart believe in one another. The fact that you are not worthy to receive something that seems to be aiming for. For example, she declares that she wants to marry. And in the soul of her fears and live confident that nothing would happen. It is unworthy of love and a happy family, because ... And then comes a list of reasons that they can not even list. The basis for a deep inner confidence that you are doomed to loneliness, can become anything. For example, you have too many years. You are living on the street. You have freckles. You are too much (or too little) you weigh. You do not have those parents. You do not have such teeth (ears, nose, chest, legs and other body parts). You are sociable enough (do not know how to cook, have sex, talk intelligently, skiing, be interesting in the company), etc.

Low self-esteem is a powerful barrier to produce the desired results. Life as it reads your inner confidence that you are "unworthy of love, it's not for you, this is for some other, more affluent people, and sells it. And your external calls and weak perturbations on the construction of families do not take life seriously. It works off your main internal program: "I am not worthy of what the anxious", and properly implement it. What can I do? One must realize that the situation with love and family life, you have now, very closely matches your self-esteem. You have such a life, what you're unconsciously think yourself worthy! You created it all for yourself!

 Concentrate attention on what

Next unconscious way of creating his loneliness is simple - you get on what to focus your attention. If you have any problems with the family, how could you concentrate? What are discussing with friends or girlfriends? What topics? What figures of speech typical of your company? If this company is a failure, standard topic of conversation which are topics such as "all men goats", "all decent long been dismantled" and "opt-out is not something", then everything in your reality so be it. Will choose not anything else, all decent disassemble the distant approaches, you will be left alone box.

This is the reality. And the output from it is quite simple - switch to positive. Stop relishing another's troubles and weaknesses. Cease to seek out enemies, morons, or goats (according to your classification) in the surrounding people. Stop focusing on bad news and trouble. Start looking at people of dignity and good quality. And then they will turn to you his best side (mental). If you live an ordinary life, working on a normal company, then you are surrounded by quite decent people, though you still think of them differently. In each of them for sure there is at least a dozen virtues, which can be admired. Look for them, and your reality will change the most wonderful way!