Hopes and disappointments
Good thing the marriage is not called. This phrase is the entire depth of the disappointment of those who have nothing but the marriage was not able to do with it. The reasons for this disappointment lies primarily in the inability to agree about the marriage of his circumstances and come to an agreement acceptable to both parties. If for some initial period, these conditions and the mutual claims once determined, outline, and the agreement will be reached, as a rule, have a chance to live together happily ever after.
Marriage - is, in a sense, a leap into the unknown. Will living together or a couple will join the sad statistics of divorce? What will marriage - happy or unhappy? Largely it depends on the readiness of the spouses to family life. Who is engaged in "combat training" future husband and wife? Statistics show - most likely, nobody. More than 85% of men and more than half of women interviewed is absolutely not ready for family life. In this case, the young couple trying to copy the model of the behavior of their parents. And, unfortunately, is not always a true role model.
Getting married, many did not think about what problems and difficulties can arise in their way. It seems that everything will be settled by itself. For example, a young man, married, wants to live with his young wife from his mother. He does seem logical, he grew up without a father and does not want to leave her mother alone. But the young wife is absolutely not happy about the prospect of living together with her mother in law. What happens if the couple postponed naive solution to this contentious issue "for later"? Likely to attempt to solve this problem will cause the first in their family life disorder. And if the quarreling, as it should, then the possible end of the marriage. That's why experts - semevedy are strongly advised to discuss all contentious issues before marriage. And, if possible, to reach agreement.
In life, my girlfriend had a story similar to the above. Courtship were very beautiful, just a fan swung her with gifts, and champagne flowed like a circle of friends liters. And jealousy seemed nice, and love stupefying. But despite all this tinsel on marriage proposal is not reached. The reason is that upon closer examination of joint plans for the future turned out that they are not just different but opposite. Family they too were quite polar. And speaking of living in an apartment with the husband's parents, with such a large list of what she should do and what she should do should not be finally approved it in the belief that nothing good this life together is over. But the most strange began when she timidly began to argue that she has a few other concepts and beliefs. And what happened? Chosen evolved from a rather gallant cynical and self-satisfied owner. His view was that "he who pays the piper calls the tune." Well, they have not come to the wedding.
The more that the real opportunity "to go" married for several years and learned from the sad experience of marriage and the pair - three children, never let me relish. Now I truly believe that we parted in time. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), For someone may not be the first year and last ... but common sense suggests, and the practice proves that the first 12 months, even in the most ideal marriage - a period of errors, difficulties and trials. But otherwise it can not be! I think it makes no sense to argue that marriage provides for drastic changes in all spheres of human life, from individual habits to the more important aspects of emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs. Willy-nilly to every have to adapt. In this regard, marriage is also a great gift and at the same time, the original victim.
In life there are no absolute victory or defeat. Each medal has a reverse side. And life consists of nothing but joy - no more than a dream. However, even in marriage. On the thorny path of lovers await the difficulties and sorrows, and petty domestic troubles, hopes and disappointments . But there awaits them light and love, and inspirational communication with someone you love, and happiness of the opportunity to be together. But just as there is around the perfect pair, and so there is no life without conflict. And if you live, check out: maybe you are staying for a long time in paradise and the booths next to you is not my husband, and golden-haired angel gently pinches the string harp? Because in everyday life, people generally there are some problems. And these problems people decide through the conflict. A family life - is not an exception.
The whole life of girls and boys, then girls and boys is the preparation for future parenthood. If no one is interested in training for future husbands and wives to family life, then they have to enter into marriage unprepared. You can talk about what teachers and parents did not fulfill his duty, not prompted, not asked, and so on. But the fact remains: the young family creates a weakly imagining what awaits them in the future. A young couple in the future will inevitably face difficulties because of which could sink their "marriage ship" yesterday so firmly bound by ties of mutual love.
And to prevent the possibility of a sharp disappointment in his favorite, even during courtship, love must learn to notice and take into account the peculiarities and nuances in the behavior of their partner. And to continue this research for life. I must say that the behavior of men and women differ about the same as heaven and earth. And the women try to judge a man by himself, is as absurd as the study of mammals in the case of arthropods. A man and a woman - the antithesis, and their union - an example of unity of opposites. But only from a combination of opposites is born harmony.
