Help your child overcome shyness
Some parents themselves have been shy as a child, suffered from this and do not wish such suffering to your child. The parents' concern must be passed the baby and will add strength to it. Unwittingly, they create additional problems to your child. Paradoxically, parents often can not forgive the child for those shortcomings, many of whom themselves have suffered. Share your experiences, tell him what experiences have you had as a child, how did you overcome shyness, maybe some part and now stays with you. Think of a situation from which you could leave with dignity. Help your child overcome shyness:
1) Observe the child, gives him a shy inconvenience and discomfort?
Maybe he's an introvert, and this style of behavior - it is his deliberate choice, and the child feels comfortable and enjoys the respect of his comrades. In such a case should not fight a nonexistent problem. Many children are not very sociable by nature, are considered in the peer serious, intelligent, reliable, on their judgments rely, to their views are listened to - a child can be happy and contented life. Of course, parents want their child was always in the spotlight, was a sociable and cheerful, but do not forget about the child's right not to be like everyone else. If it is obvious that the child is suffering, wants to talk, but afraid not cope, you have to help him.
2) Think about what has caused embarrassment and try to fix it?
Perhaps the child is experiencing neglect by their peers. Often the child is unable to show their best and strongest character traits, as children are more likely see the negative side, rather than positive. If the child does not learn, wears glasses, dresses unfashionably, have speech defects, physically weak, he could easily become a victim of ridicule. We must make every possible effort to correct the situation: work out with him an additional school subjects, listen to his opinion in the selection of clothing, go with him any kind of sport.
Once your child will get so he needs self-confidence, the situation will change. If the cause of shyness is hidden in the family, try to change their style of behavior. Try to analyze their methods of education, you may be too authoritarian and your requirements for a child, is overestimated. It is very important to educate your child self-esteem and self-sufficiency. Your opinion plays a great importance: for the child's parents are the most influential people, he looks at himself through your eyes. Child evaluates himself just as assessed by his parents.
3) In the struggle with shyness be patient - it does not take place overnight.
Do not rush the kid, give him time to adjust to new surroundings, to the new situation. If a child is shy to approach strangers and engage children in play, wait a little. Maybe after a while it gets used, look at the children and no longer afraid. If you can see that the child was emboldened and ready to take part in the game, offer him support, and go to the playing children, join in the conversation, then gradually can give your child to communicate independently. Children are very easy to meet, if there is no fear of communication.
Persuasion and reading notation here will not help, and any pressure could lead to even greater closure in itself. Needless to say: "It's not scary." It's not scary to you, and he was scared. Particularly unacceptable to mock the child in such situations, criticize or threaten: "You're a coward," "House won a bold, but here you can not open his mouth," "With you so nobody will not play," etc. Preschool children live in the world of feelings and emotions, to feel protected, the child should be surrounded by care and love. If your kid is not sure of himself, afraid of people, a real tragedy for him may become mockery of the native people - my mother.
4) Keep calm and unruffled. Do not show concern about his child shyness.
Give your child understand that in reality all around him people do not think constantly about how he is bad, all lacking their concerns, and people may suffer the same lack of confidence in their abilities, just not to file the form. Let the child know that he is not alone experiencing similar feelings that you understand and support him. This will give him confidence that sooner or later he will learn to fearlessly communicate. Constantly handing him a personal example of communication, not behave with restraint and arrogant with his friends and classmates, be friendly with them. Imitating you, your child learns everything.
You can not yell at kids! A loud cry, not even reversed specifically to the child, can cause serious feelings for impressionable children. Especially for shy children tend to take all the negative on your account. Do not put the child difficult tasks, which he still can not solve, think not too overstated your requirements? Sometimes took place in the life of the parents make their children's characters of their success and want to see the baby the best in all endeavors. Such a moral burden - to be successful in all - sometimes it becomes unbearable, even for an adult, not only for the child.
A child can not succeed in all spheres of life - if it imposed unrealistic expectations of parents - it is programmed to fail, and parents expect disappointment. Even if the desire of parents to see their child best does not sound loud, the kid still feels the pressure. Established that shy children generally do not take the case, if not confident that they can perform well.
If parents are increasingly showing a demonstration of their love in times of success of the child to the child's feelings about their worthlessness mixed with the conviction that the love of their parents depends on the skills and knowledge. The child tries to justify parental expectations to keep their love, it is maturing conviction that his achievements determine the significance of his personality. A child who is under the constant tracking his progress, can not concentrate on a specific case, which only exacerbates the situation.
