Forgive him and yourself and move on
And why did you actually break up? Who is to blame and what to do? Give yourself the time and opportunity to analyze what happened. After the break the girls are often hit in two opposite extremes:
1) Oh no, it's all my fault! What a fool I am / bitch / selfish!
2) All Men are goats! Of course, it's all because of him! I gave him the best years / months / hours of life, and this ungrateful, narcissistic male ...
And that is another line of thought is equally valid. Love, like the parting - a mysterious, ambiguous process. Who will probably say why it happened? Maybe you just spread her fate? Or blame for everything that painted a bitch Lenka, that if she had not spun in front of his nose all day in a mini skirt, everything would be fine! Yes only would it be?
Arrange a little brainstorming. Think about that for a lesson you got this time? Maybe you were too selfish? Or, conversely, is too soft? Maybe nothing you beat on his head plates each time he was detained for five minutes from work? If, on reflection, you noticed a kind of a mistake by not measles itself. Just take note and try not to repeat it in the future. But remember: your lesson should be worded appropriately. If you come to mind some nonsense like: "Well, now I just learned - no one can be trusted! To a man not to modify, to him be pristavit detective! "- Know this is not a lesson, but simply your" warm emotions. Calm down and try again.
If you think it guilty of all the deadly sins ("What's our break, do not be surprised if it started because of the war in Iraq!" - You think you are), try to weigh soberly. Do you think that he deliberately cheated on you / rude / drunk / low income / delayed at work, etc.? Do you think that he deliberately provoked you to the scandal, smartly thinking through how to pobolnee you hurt?
Do you seriously believe that he met with you just to torment you until you get bored, and then quit? Understand, he tried. And you tried. But you did not. Just accept it. forgive him and yourself and move on . Do not think that you spent a few years / months / days with him in vain. Consider what you spend on training. And this knowledge you will certainly come in handy in your next relationship. All life - a lesson. The sooner you understand that, so you better.
If at the end of this relationship you could easily understand our mistakes, not hitting at the same time in a soul-searching and self-reproach, reckon you deserved "gold medal" and "red diploma" college graduates "Love".
Focus on yourself
So, you're left alone. This momentous event is worth noting! Why would an award for mental anguish not give yourself the love of one extraordinary man: you most! So, while you're free, it's time to concentrate on his favorite! When you still can find a more suitable time? Come to the mirror and ask with his reflection: "What can I do for you?" You will be amazed to know how many nice you can make yourself by herself!
Praise yourself! You do deserve praise, is not it? I wonder how often you're doing yourself compliments? But it is very important! How much can you criticize, condemn and criticize itself? Are you a little strange criticism? Suppose you dropped a few pounds. What do you think? "That fat lady! Pathetic two kilograms nothing to fix it. I still ugly! "Why do not you say something like:" What I've done! Through my efforts I was two pounds lighter! The process has started! A new life begins! "Thank yourself every day! For a delicious supper. Delivered in time for the report. For good packing. For successful performance manicure. After all, you thanked you for all this someone else? So why not thank myself?
Do not browbeat yourself! After all, if you love someone, you always try to encourage, reassure, inspire optimism. If you truly love yourself, you will not imagine all sorts of horrors like this: "All right, never marry," "I shall die an old maid," "It was my last good sex ... until the climax stone's throw away ... but I still only twenty-seven but who knows ... time flies fast. " After all, you would never torment such dreadful words, his beloved girlfriend, so why muchish yourself?
Spoil yourself! My girlfriend Anya life skated like cheese in butter. Around it did not stop buzz moneybags, bestow her with diamonds, designer clothes and car! With great surprise I learned that Anne gets all the good things of life just for beautiful eyes, without giving anyone any sexual advances. The secret was simple. "I always pet himself - says Anna - I often give to themselves all sorts of trifles. Allow yourself, your favorite, has everything you want. Awarded for each, even ridiculous, to achieve a small gift. Men feel that I'm used to cherish themselves, and therefore treat me the same way. "
All of these tips may at first seem to you the Chinese literacy. In fact, loving yourself is not as easy as it seems. Love yourself for who you are, without any additional conditions (that is to cure acne / learn to make money / enlarged breasts, and then fall in love with you). For starters, you can start small: hang on all the mirrors in her apartment signs "I love myself for who I am!". Repeat these words each time find yourself in the mirror. The result you will be pleasantly surprised ...
Iron chart!
After the break is very important to be on the silly, not despair, do not call him in tears begging for forgiveness. Compose yourself a schedule that does not have the time and place is hysterical. Every day you have to be packed to capacity. Work. Grooming. Gym. Pool. Courses crochet or Chinese. Meeting with friends. Movies. Anything, just would not sit idle. Painted his schedule by the minute. You quickly get used to keep a high tempo.
And this ability to you is very useful in peacetime. Busy schedule not only helps to cope with the anguish of love, it enhances your image in the eyes of colleagues, bosses, friends. You do want to be respectful of you to say: "That's clever! Do not sit and not whimpering, crying over the former, and works! All have since parted! "It was a busy schedule helped my friend Nastya not only through the gap, but also to rebuild their lives. On the way to work in the gym Nastia dropped a huge bag stuffed to overflowing office documents, cosmetics and clothes. According to the laws of the genre it raised a very attractive man.
- Girl, I help you? Maybe lift? - He asked, nodding toward his luxurious black «BMW».
- No thanks, I already came. - Nastya quickly grabbed the bag and ran to the gym, so as not to miss the beginning of your workout.
Imagine her surprise when, next Thursday the same gentleman at the same luxury car again waiting for her at the gym:
- Maybe have dinner as anything - he suggested. - Are you free Saturday?
But "beauty" Nastya's schedule was that it was not free than ever! No Saturday or Sunday! On this the stranger did not give up. He continues to beg the girl's date. In the course of the plot was discovered that the stranger was the owner of that same sports club. About two months Nastya all still find time to visit. Eighteen months later they married. Word of Stanislaus, Nastya's husband, could well be the motto for all the lonely girls:
"Nothing attracts a man as totally inaccessible woman. I saw Nastia denies me is not from a woman's coquetry, and not from a desire to assert itself. It seems that she indeed had a lot of cases. It intrigued me ... "
