Family conflicts

Disputes and conflicts are in all groups, families, too, are no exception. Characteristics and the main difference between family conflict from the rest is their tenderness for the spouses. Family problems are not a terror on their own, namely the fact that people close to inflict wounds to each other. These wounds can be so serious more often than not because of the conflict itself, but because of the position of indifference to the feelings of the partner and aggressiveness, anger and hatred, which we are admitting to his house through the gaps arguments, rudeness and insults.

Family conflicts mainly occur due to difference of opinions. Almost as often the cause of conflict - in everyday problems, and in attitudes, habits, different ideas about family life. Money - a serious cause of conflict. Parenting and relationship to his friends - also a bone of contention. Following reasons - it's selfishness and jealousy. The most severe and hopeless conflict - are those that arise because of the rudeness, bad habits and addictions, family violence. In general, it's all the same questions that are asked to honestly discuss the questionnaire. Big Love is broken on the rocks of domestic turmoil and confusion.

Inability to create comfort in his wife's house, the husband neglect to order care attitude both to the state of health of another - all ready cause for quarrel. Reluctance of her husband's annoying wife to look after themselves even in small things, but it boils, saw her sitting in the middle of untidy room with a book in his hand ... Every conflict - is primarily a clash of opinions and an inability to understand and accept the viewpoint of another person. But the causes of conflicts as diverse as the relationships within families. Nevertheless, there are basic prerequisites of a dispute. Psychologists determine a list of reasons that contribute to conflict situations. Let us examine them in order, especially since every quarrel deserves a separate and thorough discussion.

... During an argument his wife leaves her husband:

-You, to whom I gave the best years of my life!

"Do not talk like that - man asks, - I dread to think that I'm still waiting for the worst years!

Interesting finding is partly due to family conflicts , recently made by psychologists. It turns out that in solving a common problem most quickly agreed and the two men work well together, then - a man with a woman not married, and then - a woman with a woman. As you probably already guessed, the husband and wife were in last place. Additionally, that personal relationships complicate the understanding, so also the motives for tying these relationships the couple are different. Yes, and view the common opinion that "cute curse - just amuse" clearly indicates that the perception of family quarrels as virtually inevitable attribute of family life. According to surveys, nearly two-thirds of men and more than half of women think that quarrels in the family to avoid is simply unrealistic.

A wall of misunderstanding within the family, more like a confrontation - all components of an integrated whole, which psychologists call reluctance toward marriage. Most often, disagreements within the family, consisting of two normal people who have not yet disgusted with each other, are due to such things as:

● Failure to agree on domestic issues

● Different views on the way of family life.

● emotional callousness, the requirement of attention, selfishness.

● Different views on child rearing, or the unwillingness of one spouse to participate in it

● Relationship to family and friends, involvement of parents.

● The desire to subjugate or convert partner.

● infidelity, jealousy, deceit.

● Money.

● Alcohol, alcoholism, drug addiction and other addiction

● cruelty and violence.

Mode of life

Gen., of course, can not, from the standpoint of the theoretician, to destroy the great love, but tell me how to keep silent if someone is constantly throwing cigarette butts in a cup or a stick in the pots of flowers? And, on the other hand, you can always shop there and dumplings to cross through the mountains of dirty laundry? And how to relate to what you describe in harsh terms that soap operas are for idiotok, and football - that's what my benefactor was waiting for a whole week.

ANSWER: If you do not like something, find a way to express it so as not to offend his interlocutor. Particularly unacceptable remarks like "Of course, in the barn, where you lived before you all arranged," or "And your mother never worked with your education!"

You do not love "- if that phrase repeated throughout the day ten or more times, then eventually you will answer:" Yes well at all, this love with such a life! "

So emotional callousness is often born from our excessive demands. What to blame her husband, and bring myself up and make him a couple of compliments ... Do not say: "You're always so ... (careless, stupid, rude, etc.) This tediousness. Came angry, tired and nervous. And you have accumulated thirty-three complaints and problems. Believe me, this is no time for recriminations. Get the scandal, and no you will not hear.

Consider the mood. Remember - the people - is a creature that reacts badly to the aggression and switches to it. Try to build relationships so that you associated with something good and positive. The more you make efforts to this, the easier you will be talking about complex and challenging things. Behave so as to discuss the problems did not cause any negative emotions, it will be a guarantee that conflicts and difference of opinions will be resolved constructively, and even this activity can be fun and meaningful in your life. After all, solving problems together, you are doing creative work. With each shared a compromise solution your relationship becomes stronger, increasing mutual understanding, and it is every time - your total victory over the circumstances.

We broke up over money

Conflicts over money or material problems - quite frequent. And it's not always that the money a young family, particularly after childbirth, there is never enough. The point is different for spouses to finance as such. Most often, conflicts are not due to the greed of one spouse, but just the opposite - everyone seems to be that second half do not know how to properly spend money. A typical criticism - when they lived separately, the money was missing. Where do they go now?

For those who do not know, let's open secret: it is well known that in the case of a family formula 2 +2 = 4 in respect of money is not true. On common household spent more than two singles on the economy at a time. In order to approach the issue of reasonable distribution of funds, you can try to record expenditures, followed by joint discussion of their appropriateness. Of course, you should not do this in order to blame each other or to control.

In that case, if one spouse is withholding funds, the second should be reasonable to consider this and think, and which, indeed, he has expenses. It is unreasonable to require the wife to pay a penny husband - a consequence of this will be only then that he formed "stash". Think that's silly - want from men, so in his wallet had no money even for a fine on the bus, if he forgets to punch ticket. It should be borne in mind that the person necessarily need to have in my pocket some money, not to feel like an idiot.

In general, psychologists say that attitudes about money - it is not just related to money as such, but also a reflection of the relationship to yourself and to him who is near and dear. If a person does not dream of making money, then, more often, he does not consider himself worthy of any big money, no real love. As banal as it may sound, but for real life, especially for young families, the inability to buy an extra pan, a good shampoo, or go to a concert at the weekend - this is actually a humiliation. That is, the Pope was right when Carlo, who said that being without money - it's disgusting. Maybe not completely but to a large extent. So most sensibly ask yourself - are you willing to material hardship for the sake of his love - that's good advice.