Even the most cursory observer easily notice that the family and marriage is not perceived as synonymous with modern humans, although many people get married, full of hope for the future together. In countries where divorce is not connected with the legal and religious issues, the marriage is dissolved frequently. Nevertheless, the existence of a country where more than half of marriages breaking up, it seems unlikely. From divorce people hold not only the legal obstacles. Keep in mind that many families based on physical principles. Almost all social classes, except, perhaps, the very rich and the poor, the divorce often means for the spouses and their children, declining living standards, as income, provides a single family, must now be supplied by two household budget. In an environment where money does not play an important role and divorce does not cause people to physical damage, splits over half of marriages.

Many spouses have long disappointed in each other, do not dare to divorce because of children. "We'll wait until the children become adults" - they say. When children grow up, marriage is still not dissolved, but not because of improved relations between the spouses, but because of fear of loneliness and lack of hope of finding a new relationship. Despite the prevalence of divorce, people can not get used to them and perceive this event dramatically. And no wonder, because the bride and groom promise each other to be inseparable until his death. Divorce means that the forecast does not come true.

It would be boring to list here statistics on the frequency of divorce in different countries and social strata, it is much more important it seems to me the fact that some forty-five people removed from their friends, relatives and friends, sadly (or with a secret satisfaction in the case themselves disillusioned with family life), noting that many promising, it would seem, the marriage fell apart. Divorced childless couples and spouses with children. It happens that people divorce after fifteen, twenty, twenty-five years of marriage, having six children. And while you sit in the serene confidence that much, at least, an old school friend Jacob and his wife Louise - a model couple, telephone rings, and Jacob said of his decision to divorce.

All this would not have looked so sad, though, at least in the existing family happiness and joy reigned supreme. Alas, it is not. Based on research and personal experience, we can conclude that many of the family and marriage is saved only by renouncing all that is dear and close. Object me: everywhere there are happy couples, happy life together, or at least, prefer to believe his luck. However, most often outside observer could not help note that such a marriage, "function" satisfactory simply because one partner put an end to their plans and completely abandoned himself.

Such a victim may be a woman, brought her personal interests for the sake of her husband's career. Recently, however, this role is often assigned to her husband, who admires his wife, hardly dares to speak in front of her own opinion, sacrificing friends and loyalties and professional perspectives, allowing his overbearing wife to use themselves almost as a servant. Often, you notice that each spouse separately is very interesting, witty, and the firing pin, but when it comes around the second half, all its liveliness somewhere disappears. Many happy, at first glance, the couple actually affect each other paralyzing.

Despite the efforts of an army of psychologists and marriage counselors, not only fails to reduce the number of divorces, but, moreover, existing marriages are in fact declining public institution. Specialists make of the situation disappointing conclusion: his wife - it's patients. The question is whether to keep their former significance conjugal ties or their meaning lost forever? Are they a kind of social mechanism "stupor," as some say revolutionary-minded researchers?

After all, even by psychiatrists and psychologists who are far from radical views, do not get tired to fill a list of sins of the family and marriage. Marital conflicts related to the frustration of the wife or husband, often act as "scapegoats" when the question arises about the etymology of a mental or nervous disorders. It's no secret that the front of psychoanalysis has two objectives: to save the patient from neurotic suffering and help him to know himself, in other words, choose your true path in life. It is noteworthy that often the course of analysis culminates in divorce. Consequently, "Know thyself" means, in such situations, neither more nor less than recognize their inferiority of marital relations, constraining individual development.

Many contemporary authors have described the marriage as a sick institution, where rampant lies, hypocrisy and self-deception. Family life, in their opinion, woven of mutual misery and resentment. To paraphrase Shakespeare's Hamlet, we can say that something rotten in marriage and family. If you look at the issue dispassionately, it will inevitably come to the conclusion that at least a functioning social institution than a modern marriage, does not exist. Two people, male and female, received different training, absorbed a variety of mythological images, promise each other to be inseparable by day and night life. However, none of them should not degrade or dictate their terms, retaining the cup family weights unflinchingly.

And that's what is surprising: a resounding promise is given only under the influence of a fleeting sexual ecstasy, which, for all its undoubted charm is hardly a solid foundation for long life together. Everyone knows that people who are alone just a couple of weeks, are already starting to irritate each other, but after a while lose their ability to maintain a calm conversation, as any attempt to reach for something turns consent for them in a grueling match.

Spouses also promised each other to stay together for life - thirty, forty, fifty or even sixty years - and to maintain a close spiritual and physical intimacy. And this responsibility is given the oath at a young age, when neither the groom nor the bride is not in a position yet to fully understand who they are! Perhaps in ten years they will become completely different people. This charming and affectionate girl turn into a real shrew, romantic, ambitious young man - a weak-willed boring.

Truly do not understand why a respectable company not only permits, but downright requires that young people are tied down their lives, unaware of the psychological problems that prepares them for a similar promise. Another two hundred years ago, most marriages fail in a natural way - one of the spouses died. This was associated with a small compared to the XX century. life expectancy. Now married ties bind people to fifty or even sixty years, and the longer husband and wife live together, the situation is becoming grotesque.