Conversation - an exchange of sounds and words that have meaning. During a call, we describe in words their thoughts, which are addressing the interlocutor. These signals, ie thought, repeatedly distorted the process of exchange. First, we select or synthesize what we want to convey. This in itself is a distortion. When endowment of thoughts and ideas into words the distortion increases (Spoken word is a lie!). Then distortion occurs in the perception and the reverse transformation and assimilation mind buddy. And, finally, his response may be different from ours. Each speaks its own language , as a result sometimes turns out that we hear is not what we wanted to say, and certainly not done what he thinks the source. Therefore, a conversation in which the sides can hear each other - is an art, which should learn.

In principle, it is surprising is that people can still understand each other. While those who have long been familiar with each other, words in general, and not needed - they communicate non-verbal means. Such non-verbal communication leads Zadornov in his monologue: "Go there, well, to that, just do not like then, and it will be oh-oh-oh", which translated into a literary language meant, in fact, not "screw the downstairs . But the transfer was not necessary, because the words as such, people who have lived together for decades, just not needed. Everything becomes clear just by intonation, by imperceptible surrounding grounds, which are well read "their". However, this does not mean that the art of conversation in the family does not need it. Yet it was invented just for people to better understand each other.

Conversation can be a business, an informal, intimate, friendly, entertaining conversation, scientific debates - it all depends on the atmosphere in which this conversation brewing. Naturally, different types of calls have different ethics. What is appropriate in a friendly conversation, is often unacceptable in a formal dialogue with a stranger or in a business conversation. Methods and style of the scientific debate is not entirely suited to entertaining conversation, of course, if you do not parodiruete this very debate.

In addition, the form of conversation may be different. You can divide the types of conversations on such grounds as the purpose of the conversation. A goal can be very different, even within a single conversation with interlocutors may differ materially. Say, one of the two people trying to blame the other, while the other sought to be justified. Or the same version of the business conversation, where one of the interlocutors is trying to convince the other to take a decision favorable to him, but meets quite appropriate in a business conversation resistance and mistrust. General purpose in talking with interlocutors in most cases will be divergent.

However, despite such a variety of conversations, all share one thing: all the winner is the person who knows how to communicate correctly and beautifully. And though sometimes profit motive are more eloquent than any speaker, but ceteris paribus the ability to talk - this is another huge plus to the competencies and the image of any person. And it would be simply foolish to lose sight of such an obvious trump card. The more so to master the science correct communication is not so difficult.

Rules for the listener and the rules for speaking

Speaker must begin with a light, neutral topic that logically bring conversation to the point. At the same time to stimulate interest in the interlocutor is recommended to insert it into steam, which positively characterize someone who listens. Naturally, this should be done with dignity and without servility, as it is annoying and gives the impression of insincerity. The speaker is the right thing, if not absolutely necessary will not speak out categorically, but instead to invite someone to a common opinion. "I think" can be successfully replaced by "Do not you think. Meaning the same, but the impression and the result may be opposite. Pause to give to understand what you say. On the contrary, accelerate the pace of speech if you want to avoid the objection, make a pause in places where the interviewee is likely to agree with you.

At a time when you are a student, you also should not forget about the rules. First, the need to listen carefully, because sometimes the information can be found between the lines. And indeed, most pleasant companion - someone who listens in silence. During the conversation, he may not say, not words, and, nevertheless, earned a reputation for extremely interesting and intelligent man. The secret of this is open for a long time, but it is engaged in promoting the very recent (maybe you heard of Dale Carnegie?). In every family the ability to listen will be an invaluable quality. And to this occupation is not bored, try to grasp the essence of the speech of his interlocutor. Sometimes it can be very helpful.

Especially if in a conversation understands is a problem: there is every reason to believe that the key to it lies if not in your explorations, then in the opinion of your partner, what should also hear. Remember that it was said: "In any question lies the answer." In family cases the answer can not just hide in your questions, but also in terms of your neighbors. In addition, interested facial expression and discussion of the arguments interlocutor will raise your credibility. Interrupt unnecessarily is not worth it. Especially to use a pause in the conversation to say about something unrelated to the conversation. This is highly incorrect.

Some people use this technique to control the debate and beat a friend on the track. It is sometimes possible, but the losses in the form of negative attitudes towards themselves may affect the future communication. Why do I sometimes even close friends so badly to understand each other? Seems to be saying the same language, and yet ... The fact that there are three types of human perception of the world. It's visual, auditory, or kinesthetic.

A person with a dominant visual impression of all perceived through the prism of the visual images. That is, to understand what they say, he needs to see it. Unlike audialov that, in contrast, is perfectly capture the spoken word. They make ideal students: they do not have anything to show, quite simply explained. The most difficult situation kinestetikami. In order to "know" the subject, they need to feel, to feel in the hand, to join with him in physical contact. These children are in school are drawn to visual aids, twisting them in his hands, very fond of physical contact when communicating.