The concept of debt in human culture blurred. This word has long since become an effective tool for manipulation, and everyone puts in him that wants to invest in order to control other people. Therefore it is useful to understand what is a "sense of duty." First of all, in fact, no such feeling. This is not a feeling, a thought - the result of some conclusions about the usefulness of action. Debt, in fact, give when it was taken. So before you rush to repay debts, you should find out who is who, what and in what amount borrowed.

In order to give some kind of debt, it is important to understand in what way he is: what to give, how, how much and for how long. If these boundaries are not marked, then the debt becomes cargo unenforceable obligation. A matter which has no end and which can not be freed. And above all - not even a way off this weight off. Another thing-the responsibility of which I already wrote above. Responsibility is only for himself. Absolutely impossible to be responsible for the action-conditions and actions, thoughts and feelings of others, since there is no way to predict what it will do, feel or tell other people, and therefore there is no way to change it. We can attribute another person responsible for our actions under the guise of what we were made. However, most likely, the fact that we agree on this or that act because we need it. And the same with us doing the surrounding.

In relationships there is always someone who takes greater responsibility, and the second - which takes less responsibility for a relationship or joint case. This is a problem either, because everyone on their 50% responsible for what, how to construct their relationships. In this sense, freedom from debt and excess liability - the ability to distinguish between duty, guilt and responsibility (their own and others), beyond the roles, rights and responsibilities, the limits of (their own and others), dates and other terms of the agreements. When we do this or that choice (eg decide to behave as required by the soul, or do what others like), we rely on the fact that it is more important for us just a moment. And if we make this choice consciously, we do not have the impression that we were forced, coerced, blackmailed, that we manage. Each of us is entitled to choose and emotional outburst, and "good manners".

No one can force you to do something, if you do not want. If you agree to something that you do not like - it's your own choice. Unable to control the man, who picks himself what he should do. Even when he was of two evils, chooses the worst. Be responsible - means to take their own actions, consider yourself their author. It is important to understand that if you did something - you did it by choice, and it's a lie that you are forced circumstances, or your unconscious or fate or social pressure, not to mention the boss or family members. This kind of pressure, of course, affects your behavior, but you can choose and weigh what influences give greater importance: external influences or influences your personal needs.

If you decide that you do not control the situation, it only means that you choose not to weigh and choose, that is, choose not to see their choice. Even if the results are all available at your disposal elections do not satisfy you acknowledge that this does not mean that you have no choice, but the fact that you refuse to choose between real and prefer to dream about the ideal. If you - the author of your life if you have created a situation in which you live, it means that you yourself can fix it and to change and develop according to your wishes. But none of us is responsible for what decisions and elections take other people for what they feel.

If the following statements are true for you, put the next "tick":

1.Drugie people can not take responsibility for their lives, for their own actions and for their feelings.

2.YA know how to live properly, and consider it my duty to teach the friendship of others.

3.If I'm not going to supervise, monitor and control other people, then life becomes a hell knows what.

4.I blame for everything that happens around me.

5.YA few understand how to construct the relationship, and therefore prefer to refer to experienced people to have full information.

6.I do not like to make decisions and try to do it someone else.

7.YA do not like to plan anything in advance, still nothing from me does not.

8.YA usually offended when others do not do what I want.

If you tick all that matters - it means that your idea of responsibility emerged with strong manipulations. You will not interfere with reading other books in the series "Full training of self-confidence." If you tick the first four issues - you do not trust other people and do not respect them. Therefore, load up all that is possible, and from this suffering. If you tick the last four questions - or you are 5 years or your life is arranged so that you have not matured, and that you are very comfortable.

The human body is arranged so that in case of danger away from sticky situations - so runs the instinct of self-preservation. The exceptions are two options:

-If the current trouble promises great fun in the future,

-If the current unpleasantness makes it possible to avoid further trouble.

In this sense, absolutely normal sense of responsibility (that is, simply - knowing that you are the author of his life) is the moment when you pick up, how to act consciously, that is, in its sole discretion, and knowing that it is - yours. And no matter how or when this was your decision if you believe that it is most true - then you feel responsible. And it's not an illusion. It is very difficult to feel responsible in the event that there is fear of making mistakes.

Many people think that you can not make mistakes that can predict something, avoid something. If this were true, if we could look into the future - you would not read such books. Because we made so that we can not know the future, the knowledge about the world we acquire only through the actions and their results. That is - a mistake. If we decide that action can lead to some consequences, and then refuse to action - it is our own choice. But before such a decision, it is important still to understand, so there are terrible consequences and, in fact, if they could be in reality or exist only in imagination?

Duty and responsibility - two different things. The first implies agreement with others, and the second - a contract with them. If you need to understand that it is not clear to whom, you are irresponsible for their lives and can not manage it. The best way to stop feeling properly and to recognize the authorship of his life - is to figure out to whom, how and to what extent and at what time you do something borrowed. And to choose a measure of redemption of debt.